If you do not read this you may die
Something un-pretentious
Dear reader!
No, how about once upon a time! I think that would do, right?
Ok, lets go from the start (wow, this sure is exciting!)
My name is Hugh. Intense, huh?
For some vague irrelevant reason my name is also huseph. Confusing, I know. If you are struggling to keep up feel free to take notes.
Now for conveniences sake Hugh and Huseph shall just be referred to as Hero. Because all stories have a hero right?
right!
Now Hero was a bad person. Sure, he was a great person, a generous person and an all round marvellous person, but he was also a bad person. You see, he had a something in common with the Pharaohs. And Caesar. And the English.
That's right, Hero practiced slavery.
Given the chance he would viscously enslave people in their thousands, directing their talents to his own selfish goals.
"So", asks the ignorant reader, eagre to hear their own relevance to hero's evil hobby. "What does this all have to do with me?"
"Well," said Hero, stroking a small fluffy cat that looked like a fucking pom pom with teeth. "I am secretly a musician, not a writer"
"aah" said the reader, feigning understanding.
"You are simply feigning understanding. Listen up you tart. There is a site, a great site called triple j unearthed. And on that site young musicians can upload their work in the vain hope that someone will hear it. However the whole system is flawed. No one fucking listens to it."
a glimmer of understanding Glimmered in the readers eye. "do continue..."
Hero smiled, pleased that his plan was coming together. "You are a writer. I am willing to commission your skills as a writer. All you have to do is go to my page, listen to OR download (the choice is yours!) the 3 songs listed. Then write rave reviews, saying only nice stuff, and ignoring any impulse to say nasty, hurtful things."
The reader (you! haha, you didn't pick up on that did you!? oh, the glory of the twist!) felt inspired! The nice things he or she would say! The reviews he or she would write! The Glory if somehow this whole plot pulled of and Huseph became a fucking rockstar! Oh the glory of it all! So much freaking glory!
Hero the enslaver smiled again as he stroked his stupid cat. He had done well.
The End!
No, how about once upon a time! I think that would do, right?
Ok, lets go from the start (wow, this sure is exciting!)
My name is Hugh. Intense, huh?
For some vague irrelevant reason my name is also huseph. Confusing, I know. If you are struggling to keep up feel free to take notes.
Now for conveniences sake Hugh and Huseph shall just be referred to as Hero. Because all stories have a hero right?
right!
Now Hero was a bad person. Sure, he was a great person, a generous person and an all round marvellous person, but he was also a bad person. You see, he had a something in common with the Pharaohs. And Caesar. And the English.
That's right, Hero practiced slavery.
Given the chance he would viscously enslave people in their thousands, directing their talents to his own selfish goals.
"So", asks the ignorant reader, eagre to hear their own relevance to hero's evil hobby. "What does this all have to do with me?"
"Well," said Hero, stroking a small fluffy cat that looked like a fucking pom pom with teeth. "I am secretly a musician, not a writer"
"aah" said the reader, feigning understanding.
"You are simply feigning understanding. Listen up you tart. There is a site, a great site called triple j unearthed. And on that site young musicians can upload their work in the vain hope that someone will hear it. However the whole system is flawed. No one fucking listens to it."
a glimmer of understanding Glimmered in the readers eye. "do continue..."
Hero smiled, pleased that his plan was coming together. "You are a writer. I am willing to commission your skills as a writer. All you have to do is go to my page, listen to OR download (the choice is yours!) the 3 songs listed. Then write rave reviews, saying only nice stuff, and ignoring any impulse to say nasty, hurtful things."
The reader (you! haha, you didn't pick up on that did you!? oh, the glory of the twist!) felt inspired! The nice things he or she would say! The reviews he or she would write! The Glory if somehow this whole plot pulled of and Huseph became a fucking rockstar! Oh the glory of it all! So much freaking glory!
Hero the enslaver smiled again as he stroked his stupid cat. He had done well.
The End!
♠ ♠ ♠
www.triplejunearthed.com/VoiceRound is the link. Even if this stupid little attempt dosn't work, it was kinda fun writing it.