Therapy

Alex could feel his classmates gawking at him. They hadn't expected him to be at school; so he was putting off the image that maybe he didn't care about his brother's suicide. He did, yet he wanted to put it behind him. He wanted to focus on the future for now. The future he was going to have with his band. The future he'd have with his family and women he might marry. Kids he might have. Friendships he might make.

All he could think about was how he had wished Ashley could comfort him. She'd always know what to do or say to make him feel at least a tiny bit better. But he had fucked up, and now she didn't give two shits about him. Across the room, she was staring at him with sympathy in her eyes. All she wanted was for him to know she was there for him. She wanted to hold him, tell him everything would be okay. She wanted to make him smile again. Though, it had only been not even a day since his brother's death; she'd have to give it time before she could approach him. It was too soon.

Alex shook his leg nervously up and down as he felt everyone's eyes on him. He wanted to get out of Maryland. But he couldn't; Peter's funeral was in two days and he wasn't going to miss that, no matter how much it would hurt. Maybe after the funeral he could go somewhere for a few days; maybe to downtown Baltimore. He could get a hotel room, bring Jack with him. But Jack would never go for it. It was a bad idea. But at the moment, Alex was about ready to try anything.

He glanced up at the clock; only one minute and forty-two seconds, then he could get everyone's eyes away from him. And he could stop being paranoid about everyone around him. One minute and thirty-seven seconds until he could just go home and sleep; forget everything. One minute and twenty-two seconds until he could maybe cry on his mother's shoulders. One minute and fifteen seconds until he could maybe play his guitar; write a song or two. One minute until he could cry to himself. Forty-six seconds until he could listen to his comforting music and do his homework. Thirty-two seconds until he could call his grandmother and talk to her for a few minutes. Twenty-five seconds until he could call in sick for work. Seventeen seconds until he could do his laundry and take his mind off of things. Twelve seconds until he could write his goodbye speech to Peter for the funeral. Eight seconds until he could throw away sheet after sheet of paper, trying to find the right goodbye words for his brother. Two seconds and he could break down.

The shrill ringing of the bell caused Alex to jump in his seat and let everyone leave before him so he couldn't hear their whispers or rumors about him and how he had supposedly 'told his own brother to kill himself.'

"Alex," A girl's voice rang from behind him. Alex simply turned over his shoulder and smiled softly at Danielle, one of his former girlfriends. "I - I don't want to say sorry, 'cause I'm sure you're probably sick of that." His smile grew maybe a centimeter. "Just - feel better, okay? And I - I miss him, too."

"Thanks," Alex mumbled, then slowly wrapped his arms around her tiny frame. "I was lucky to ever have you, Dani."

"Same here," She whispered, then kissed his cheek. And just like that she walked out of the room, causing Alex to sigh, grab his things and walk out shortly behind her. He pulled on his backpack shoulder straps and walked slowly behind the crowds as they made their way outside the school.

He hadn't been prepared for this.

&&&

Two Months Later

She couldn't think straight as she sat in the police station. Her mind was wandering with emotions and the fact that she didn't have parents anymore. She rested her head on the table she was sitting at and let a few tears fall from her eyes. She was on her own, and there was nothing she could do about it.

"Camilla, honey," Officer Jones walked slowly toward her, then rested her hand on Camilla's shoulder. "We've found someone who can take you in. I don't know if you'd remember her. You only met her when you were about six years old."

Camilla nodded, then let them go back to her house to pack her things.

"Camilla you have to talk, baby," Officer Jones looked at the girl sadly. "I know you're hurting, but we all want to hear your pretty voice."

She simply shook her head, then zipped her suitcase. All she wanted was to get out of Ohio. She was sick of everything that had happened in a matter of one year. Her father had left her, and her mother had over-dosed on an over-the-counter drug. So she had no one left, except the adults who were about to become her guardians.

"Alright," Jones sighed, then led Camilla to the police car, driving her toward the airport.

After a two hour flight, Camilla and Officer Jones had landed in Baltimore, Maryland, and Camilla was already feeling more content with herself. She still couldn't find the courage to speak yet.

Camilla sighed to herself as the police car rolled up to the two-story house she would now call home. It was nothing like the environment she'd been living in after her father left. She was forced to move to the ghetto part of town, living off of peanut butter sandwiches and cheap Goodwill clothes. This was different for her. She wasn't comfortable anymore in this environment; where she used to live.

Officer Jones led Camilla up the stairs and knocked on the door lightly, smiling hopefully down at her.

Alex heard the doorbell ring, but he couldn't motivate himself to stand up and get the door; he was still, after two months, not over his brother's death. He could barely find the motivation to eat, much less breathe. Rachelle and Steven walked past their son, sad looks on their faces, then opened the front door, allowing Camilla and Officer Jones in.

"Camilla, this is Rachelle and Steven; your mother was very good friends with them when you were just a kid." Camilla forced a small smile as Rachelle embraced her in a hug. "Now they're not adopting you. Rather they're just giving you a shelter. I hope you'll enjoy it here. And Rachelle, we thank you so much for this. She's been heartbroken after, you know."

Rachelle let a tear fall; one of her oldest friends had killed herself just after Peter had done the same. She didn't know if she could handle it.

Camilla bit her lip nervously, tapping her foot - an old habit that had come back into her life. She looked around the living room, then her eyes landed on a boy about her age lying on the couch just looking at the ceiling. She had been told what had recently happened to this family; she knew why he looked so hurt.

So they were both in the same situation; grieving.

"Alex," Rachelle said softly, looking at her son. Alex lifted his head a little, then sighed and moved from the couch after two days of lying on it. He brushed himself off and walked over next to his mother as she put her arm around him. "Camilla, this is my son Alex. I'm sure you two will - " She looked at the two kids' depressed faces. "Never mind. Camilla, we'll just let you get settled in. Alex, why don't you go help her. Show her to her room; around the house."

Alex took a long look at her; she was probably the most gorgeous, beautiful thing he'd ever seen, despite her rather depressed look. He couldn't blame her, though. She has no parents to take care of her.

"This way," He let Camilla follow him up the stairs and to the bedroom directly across the hall from his. No, it wasn't Peter's old room; but rather the guest room that was next to his. Rachelle and Steven had taken down the cheesy elderly wall paper and replaced it with a lavender color, bringing almost a little bit of a smile to Camilla's face. She turned to Alex and silently thanked him. "So I guess this is your room. Mine's right across the hall if you need anything. You have your own bathroom. You know where the living room is. We have a pool out back, but it's not open right now. Should be in several weeks." Alex noticed that she probably didn't care at the moment. "I'll just let you - yeah." He sighed and walked out of Camilla's room, then to his own. He picked up his guitar and played random chords, then started softly singing as he heard Camilla shuffling around in her room.

Camilla stopped what she was doing and listened to the soft sound of Alex's voice in her ears.

She could definitely get used to that.