Trust Me

*morning*

BOBS POV

I didn't sleep at all last night. I don't think anybody did. My mind was racing with all these bad thoughts and horrible possibilities that I didn't want to happen. I just lay there all night, crying, like a fucking pansy. Frank is the pansy! I'm supposed to be the strong one! But then I have a pretty good reason to cry, I could be dying soon so I might as well cry whilst I can.

At about 10am Gerard woke up and motioned me silently to come outside the room with him. I nodded and heaved myself out of bed, following him into the corridor which was lined with plastic chairs. He hugged me tightly and shut the room door so that the others couldn't hear what we were talking about.

"Are you feeling alright?" his eyes were red and puffy and I guessed he hadn't slept much either.

"Still a little shocked but I'll get over it," I said, flinging myself down into one of the chairs and sighing.

"Nobody slept last night. I could hear Frank whimpering and Mikey sniffing and Ray was keeping quiet but he kept moving around so he wasn't asleep. Were all scared for you man and your like a brother to us, is there anything I we can do to make this any better for you?" He asked.

I thought for a second before I replied.

"I wanna break up with Lizzie, how do I do it and not hurt her so bad?" He looked shocked.

"But you two have been dating for like, 3 years! I thought you were going to get married and everything. Ah well, just call her and tell her because if you say it to her face, she will slap you," he grinned and I smiled faintly back.

"OK be right back," I got up and went back into the room. I hunted around in the pockets of the jeans I was wearing when I came in here and retrieved my cell, then left and went back into the corridor.

"Now what do I do?" I looked up at Gee expectantly.

"Call her, dumb-ass!"

"And say what?!" I was getting really pissed off. I couldn't tell anyone why I wanted to break things off with Lizzie, I need him to tell me how to say it without giving a reason.

"Tell her... you need some space or your cheating on her... or you're gay! tell her you're gay! then she will leave you alone forever!"

Gerard I am gay.

"Alright, gay it is then," I said, my finger hitting the call button.

Lizzie, I really like you but I'm gay and have been lusting after my band mate for months now. I could be dying of cancer so I just wanted to let you know that It's over before I go. No hard feelings and could we please stay Friends? The words sounded ridiculous even in my head.

She picked up almost straight away. I almost burst out and said it. Told her everything right there but Gerard was there and he has the biggest mouth, ever. To tell Gee a secret is like putting it on a t-shirt for everyone to see and then wearing it forever.

"Bob are you alright? I saw about the crash on the new and I was so worried!" she said in her annoying high-pitched voice that never shuts up.

"Shh It's alright I'm fine I just need to say something."

"Bob what is it?"

"Lizzie I'm gay and I'm ending everything between us. I just can't do it anymore, I feel like a fake and I'm not really into girls. You're a really great person and I'm sure you will find someone one day and I'm really sorry." Great, now I sound like I'm grovelling! But at least I'm telling the truth.

"So what I was just your rebound?!" she screamed angrily.

"No, well, more a distraction then a rebound..." she interrupted me.

"Fine! forget it! I never want to see you again you sick fag! go find some big hairy man to fuck because I don't want you!" she shrieked.

"I plan to," I hung up on her. Gerard was looking at me in awe.

"Nice! very nice!" he said, I nodded and smiled.

"Gee I feel kinda funny, I'm going to go and lay down," My head was spinning and I felt like I was going to throw up. Gee nodded and opened the door to the room.

I somehow made it to my bed before passing out.

RAYS POV.

Oh god what if he's dead!

"Bob! wake up man! BOB!" I yelled, shaking his shoulder. He didn't move or respond.

We had all been in our beds when he and Gee came back into the room from talking outside but he laid down and didn't move again. I watched him and I couldn't even see him breathing.

Everyone was trying to wake him up now.

"Bob get up you lazy shit!" said Frank, jumping on the side of his bed.

"Watch his arm Frankie!" Mikey said.

Gerard had gone to get a doctor. I tried to find his pulse but his left arm was in plaster and It's fainter in your right arm, I definitely read that somewhere, I kept telling myself that as I continued to look without finding one.

Mikey shook his shoulder again, roughly but he still didn't wake up. Gerard came back into the room with a worried looking doctor right behind him. She rushed over to Bob and we all moved away to let her get to him.

She checked him over quickly.

"He's OK, just unconscious. I was meant to be coming down here now to tell you about what's going on with him. I will be in charge of his treatment for his cancer" She looked quite sad now. Her blue eyes looked in danger of filling with tears and she pushed her blond hair out of her face.

"How do we -er... wake him up?" said Frank.

"Easy, just throw water on him, It should jolt him enough to wake up." She looked around at the shocked expressions on each of our faces.

"What?"

"Never throw water on him. I did once while we were on tour as a prank and I still have the scars from it. He was lying in and I got to do the honors of waking him up but he is the worlds heaviest sleeper and I couldn't get him up so I resorted to water and he well.. wasn't too pleased to say the least," Said Gee.

We all laughed, I remembered that too. Gee poured a whole glass of water over Bob's head so Bob though Gee wanted a water fight and filled the bath up with ice cold water and dumped him in it, then smacked him around a bit later on but we all pick on each other so It's all good.

"I'll do It then," said the doctor, picking up a glass of water from the bedside table and pouring a little onto Bob's forehead.

"What? Who? Where? How? Why? And what the FUCK is going on here!" He yelled the last part as we all started laughing. His eyes were tight shut and he wiped the water off his head.

"Gee didn't you learn your lesson last ti..." He opened his blue eyes and then realized the doc was there. We all laughed again as he blushed, mumbling an apology.

"It's alright. Now you all know why I'm here and what I'm here to speak to you about. I have good and bad news so which do you want first?" She looked around at us all.

"Can we hear the bad bit first please Katie?" said Bob. I guess Katie was the doctors name and he had found that out yesterday.

"The bad news is that during his treatment Bob will have to remain here at the hospital. His immune system will be very low and if he gets even a cold it could make him very sick so he will be staying here." She looked around at us all and I caught her eye.

"How long will that be for?" I asked.

"Ten weeks" Bob groaned and I reached for his good hand, taking it in my own. If only he knew.

"The good news is that we went over the test results again and it has not spread as far as originally thought. Bob will make a full recovery but there may be side effects during his treatment..."

"Like what?!" Bob sounded panicked so I moved my hand from his to his shoulder, trying to soothe him a little but I was probably just freaking him out more.

"During the treatment, you might loose your hair. You will definitely feel tired all the time and become very weak. Simple things will be very difficult to do but we can improve on that as you are treated."

Bob's good hand moved up to his blond hair. He had been growing it for a while now and I think he was finally happy with it. I tensed my hand on his shoulder protectively and he looked at me, puzzled. I shook my head and withdrew my hand.

"But will my hair definitely fall out?" he asked.

"I can't tell you" the doctor shook her head.

"You can start your treatments as soon as you are ready to and It all depends on you now but once you start you must move to your own room and can only see your friends once a week, I'm sorry, I don't make all these rules and If it was up to me then you wouldn't have to follow them. Yes I love your band. But if you don't you could get even sicker," she said to Bob.

"I'll give you some time to talk things through," she said before leaving the room.

Bob spoke as soon as the door snapped shut behind her.

"I want to start as soon as I can," he said, fear evident in his voice but something else, something stronger but I couldn't tell what it was.

I looked around at everyone else. Mikey had gone very quiet and was gazing at a spot on the floor with apparent great interest. Gee and Frank looked as if they wanted to object but they said nothing.

"The sooner you start this shit the sooner its over with," I said.

"Glad someone See's it my way" said Bob pulling me into a tight hug. I hugged him back, breathing in his warm smell but at the same time terrified it would be the last time I did so.