Trust Me

RAY'S POV.

I knew he was awake. We had gone home from the hospital, Brian ordering us to take a week to think this through properly. Bob shifted in my arms again and I sighed.

"I know you're awake, let's talk about this," I said gently.

He stayed silent.

"Bob come on, nobody moves that much while they sleep."

"I don't want to talk about it OK," he said, his voice sounded like he had been or still was crying.

I had been asleep for a little while, I think both of us had, we had cried and cried until we both just fell asleep in each others arms.

"You can't just lie here and cry about it, we've made the decision now, you don't even have to think about it for another six months."

We had gone for the middle ground. Bob would take six months of medication, then have an operation to remove the cancerous tumor from his brain. That was the longest he could take the meds for and then still fight afterwards. We had been warned of the side effects that might occur from the medication, but we hoped he would be OK.

"What do you want me to say? I'm scared alright, I don't want to face this, I don't want to die like this."

"Bob you're not going to die, I promise you, you're gonna be fine," I said comfortingly, my voice as convincing as I could make it even though deep down I felt I was lying to him.

"Everybody dies Ray."

"Not like this. You're gonna get through this, beat it, you can do this," he rolled over to face me and sighed.

"Ray, what if I don't?"

I fell silent, I didn't have an answer to his question.

"I don't want to think about that. If this is how we're going to spend the next six months Bob then..."

"No. It's not. I'm sorry. Goodnight," he said shortly, shifting away from me.

"Bob have I done something?" I asked, hurt by the way he was acting towards me. He sighed and moved closer to me, wrapping me in his strong embrace.

"No you haven't, it's me. I'm just really scared right now and I can't... I just can't OK?"

"Can't what?"

"Can't do this."

"Do what?"

"Ray I think you would be better off with somebody else."

"Are you crazy?! I love you, that's why I married you, you can't be serious."

"You could go and be with anybody you wanted, somebody who's not sick and has only a guaranteed six months left."

"Baby," I said softly, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him closer.

"We need to enjoy these six months, make the most of them just in case something does go wrong. I'm sure everything will be just fine and that you'll get better OK? It just might take a while."

"Will you wait for me? To be better again?"

"Of course I will, I'll wait forever," I said, kissing his lips softly.

"I love you, don't ever forget that," he said quietly.

"I love you too, I'd never forget that, not ever," our lips connected and we kissed, the kiss was full of so much love it brought tears to my closed eyes.

"Damn it Ray I'll miss you so much," whispered Bob.

"You wont miss me because I'll be right there, I always will be. And if something goes wrong, I'll still be with you, I'll be right here," I touched his chest right over where his heart was and he looked into my eyes through the darkness.

"You just gave me an idea," he said thoughtfully, kissing my lips again.

"I did?"

"Yeah, but not right now, soon, goodnight, I love you," he said, settling in my arms, burying his face in my neck and holding me close.

"I love you too," I said, exhaustion finally overtaking me, I drifted off to sleep in Bob's arms.

*****************************

LAUREN'S POV.

A month later.

"It's cold!" I giggled as the nurse put a little of the gel onto my stomach.

"I know, just a second," she said with a smile. I was having an ultrasound scan and Ray and Bob came with me to hear the twins heartbeats for the first time. Thankfully the nurse at the clinic wasn't homophobic so she was fine with them both being here.

Ray's on antidepressants. All he can think about is what could happen if something went wrong and Bob died, it's a horrible thought that has crossed my mind too, but Ray became fixed on it and now needs the pills to keep him anywhere near happy.

"Okay, so there's baby 'A', are we finding out the sex today?" asked the nurse.

Ray and Bob looked at each other.

"Um... well... I'd like to know," said Bob, Ray smiled.

"Me too."

"Very well. Baby 'A' is a boy, and lets just see baby 'B'," she moved the little wand over my stomach and images appeared on the screen.

"I think baby 'B' is a girl," said the nurse with a smile. We watched the babies heartbeats on the screen for a while, the nurse took a few pictures of the babies and she handed them to us as we left.

"We got one of each!" said Ray happily.

"I know!" said Bob excitedly, hugging Ray and me on either side of him.

"Still a while to go yet guys," I laughed.

"A boy and a girl, we need to think of some names."

"I think we should wait until they're born, then we can name them, I couldn't think of a name for a baby I had never met," said Bob.

"That's true," said Ray.

"So I'm actually getting pretty excited about this," I said, running a hand over my stomach.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, in five months time you guys will be parents and I couldn't be happier to have given this to you," I said with a smile as we walked over to the bus which had parked in the hospital car park whilst we went for the appointment.

"Hey guys, everything OK?" asked Frank as he opened the door up for us. I kicked off my shoes.

"Everything is going great, and we got a boy and a girl!" said Bob, bouncing up and down in happiness.

"Aw guys that's great!" said Frank, hugging all three of us and going to get Gee and Mikey from their bunks to tell them.

"Frank come here a sec," said Bob, pulling Frank into the back studio room to talk to him about something. I dropped onto the couch and Ray sat next to me, I swung my feet up onto his lap and he pulled a face.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes!"

"But I hate feet! I won't even touch Bob's feet, what makes your's so special?"

"The fact that I am carrying your two kids and going to get stretch marks because of it, that's what! Now rub my feet, they're aching," I said with a slight smirk at the look on his face.

FRANK'S POV.

My heart started to pound in my ears as Bob pulled me into the studio to talk to me. What if he's found out?

"Fraaaaank, I needed some advice on something," he said as he shut the door.

"Yeah, a-anything," I said. Damn it Frank don't stutter, you'll give yourself away even more.

"Well... don't tell Ray?"

"Sure," I said, trying to hide that my palms were sweating profusely just from the two of us being alone in a room together.

"I was thinking of maybe getting a tattoo," he said.

"Oh yeah?" I said with a slight smirk.

"What's funny?"

"You wouldn't be able to take it! You'd wuss out," I laughed and he slapped my arm.

"Shut it Iero. I'm not gonna back out of this because it will be really special."

"You have something in mind?"

"Yeah, I do, but I wanted to just ask you if it really hurts?"

"Ha! I knew it!"

"Oh shut up and just tell me."

"Well it depends where you were thinking of."

"Like... on my chest, right over my heart."

"Ray?"

"Mhm."

"Damn that's so sweet. But is it a good idea? I mean, with all those meds your taking and stuff..."

"It's on my list, it has to be done," he said half sadly, half determinedly.

"List?"

"I've made a kind of list of everything I want to do, like, as a just in case kind of thing."

"Ah. Right. Well, the sooner the better then, when were you thinking?"

"How does as soon as the bus gets to the next city with a decent tattoo shop sound to you?"

"Like a plan," I said as we both left the room.

****

A few short hours after leaving the bus, we returned. Bob hadn't complained once, so I had nothing to tease him about. Now all he had to manage to do was to keep it hidden from Ray until it was healed enough to look better.

It was really simple, just three letters, but I knew it would mean the whole world to Ray and that it meant a hell of a lot to Bob.

"Now it stings," whispered Bob as we crept onto the bus so we didn't wake anybody up.

"Take some painkillers and then go to bed, it will be better in the morning," I said quietly, accidentally on purpose brushing past him as I walked towards the bunk room.

"OK, night," he whispered.

"Night Bob, l-" I quickly stopped myself and he had turned away so I quickly stripped down to my boxers and climbed into my bunk beside Gee who was already sleeping.

A few minutes later I heard Bob clamber into his and Ray's bunk. I can't keep this to myself much longer, one day it will all slip out, that I'm in love with my best friend and not my fiancee.