Trust Me

RAY'S POV

That was it for us. Bob and I left the tour to take some time to ourselves. Neither of us had even thought about things happening this way and we had decided to go home and take some time to think.

I had woken up early that morning so was sat alone in the lounge on the couch. The events of the last few days seemed a total blur as I thought back on them. The only thing I really remembered was holding Bob in my arms the previous night as we both cried ourselves to sleep.

I remembered his fragile, trembling form gradually relaxing as his tiredness took over. I remembered how his whole body convulsed violently with his uncontrollable sobs. Most of all I remembered waking up in the night to find him clinging to my chest, whimpering like a small child spending their first night alone in their own bedroom.

My hand brushed across my face briefly and when I moved it away, I found it had one small tear clinging to it. I was roughly jolted to my senses by Skittle leaping from the floor and landing on my lap.

"Hey there," I said softly. He rubbed his soft face against my large hand, beginning to purr as he did so.

A weak smile crept onto my face. I sat there for a while, absent-mindedly petting the cat and allowing my mind to wander where it pleased.

I heard a set of feet descending the stairs and turned around to look. Bob stood at the foot of the stairs wearing black pajama pants and nothing else. His hair was bed-tousled and his eyes puffy and red. He looked terrible, but I loved him more than ever, no matter how terrible he looked.

"You're not in bed," he said in a much higher voice than his normal tone.

"I woke up early, I didn't want to wake you," I said, rising to my feet causing Skittle to look at me in a very dejected way.

I crossed the room and pulled Bob into my arms.

"How're you feeling today?" I asked softly.

"Tired, and my head is really sore."

"Shh it’s OK,” I said quietly, knowing full well it wasn’t. I could tell something was very, very wrong.

“What’s the matter Bob, other than the obvious?”

He stepped back and took both of my hands into his own.

“I want to move the operation forward, and have it as soon as I can.”

“Bob I-“ He cut me off instantly.

“We both know, Ray, that I’m not going to make it. I’d rather not live with this pain whilst I’m still here.”

I shook my head slowly and dropped his hands.

“You’re going to make it, you’ve beaten this before, you can do it again. If you don’t fight, you can’t win. If you die, I’m going with you Bob,” my eyes filled with tears at the last sentence.

I had already made up my mind that if Bob died I wouldn’t be able to live without him. If Bob died on that operating table, I would die too.

Even more tears came to my eyes as I remembered the lyrics to a song I knew all to well. I pulled Bob into my arms and started to sing softly, swaying us slightly as I did so.

“Love of mine,
Someday you will die,
But I’ll be close behind,
I’ll follow you into the dark.

No blinding lights,
Or tunnels to gates of white,
Just our hands clasped so tight,
Waiting for the hint of a spark.

If heaven and hell decide,
That they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the ‘no’ on their vacancy signs.
If there’s no-one beside you,
When your soul embarks.
Then I’ll follow you into the dark.”

“Ray that’s beautiful,” said Bob, wiping a tear from his face.

“I didn’t write it, It’s Death Cab For Cutie… It’s just the best way of summing up what I want to say to you. Whether its now or in the next life, we’ll be together for as long as we possibly can. I want it to be now Bob, I want to get through this, raise our daughter together, have a few more kids, have more fun with the band and then settle down somewhere quiet and grow old together. That’s how its going to be.”

“You can’t promise that,” said Bob in a hollow voice.

“No. But I can wish for it, and for now, that’s what I’ll do.”

“Can we call the hospital?”

“Why?”

“I want to go and see our little Angel and I was wondering if they have special visiting hours or anything.”

“I already asked, the nurse said to just drop by whenever we like.”

“OK, lets get showered and ready then go as fast as we can.”

“You want the first shower?” I asked.

“No, You have it,” he said, walking past me into the kitchen and switching on the coffee machine.

“I’ll try not to use all the hot water,” I called back down to him as I headed upstairs. He didn’t reply so I guessed that his coffee was done and he was busy with that.

I grabbed a clean white towel from the closet in the hallway and walked into our large bathroom. It was one of my favourite rooms in our house. We had a big walk-in shower with loads of hot water jets. The one problem with that was that the hot water got used up very quickly, but it had been on all night so I didn’t need to worry.

I closed the door behind me and sighed quietly to myself. This marriage hadn’t been going as I had planned. I was expecting a nice honeymoon, to come back relaxed and carefree, rejoin the tour and have a good time with the guys. Instead I had gotten a nice honeymoon, then pretty much the end of the world dropped on us. The medication Bob has been taking has left him with all kids of side effects. The worst of which is the pain he is sometimes left in. I can’t stand seeing him like that, it kills me.

I pulled off my shirt and glanced in the mirror, sighing at what I saw. Bob and I hadn’t been ‘intimate’ in such a long time I was starting to feel utterly unattractive. I knew his medication was making him not want to, but it was bothering me to have lost that part of our relationship, especially so early on.

I pulled off the rest of my clothes and turned on the shower, waiting for the water to heat up. When I could see the steam rising I stepped under the warm flow, allowing the heat of the water to relax my tense muscles and put my body at ease.

My mind wandered, and I started to think of Bob. But not in an innocent way. I wanted him... there was no denying it, but I didn't want to push him to do anything he didn't want to do or didn't feel capable of at the moment.

Still, that didn't stop me imagining...

I groaned softly as I imagined ripping Bob's shirt over his head, his muscular chest and toned abs coming into view. I thought of running my hands over his body, pulling off his jeans and leaving him only in his boxers. I closed my eyes and grasped my erection, gasping quietly at the feeling as I did so.

"Having fun?"

"B-bob," I spluttered, my eyes wrenching open and finding Bob stood in front of me in his full naked glory. I couldn't help but look at every inch of his body before he roughly pushed me into the shower wall and his lips found my neck.

"It's been ages," he growled, almost desperately, as he started to bite and kiss my neck.

"I know, its not your fault, I don't mind."

"You're frustrated," he said.

"No i'm not," I replied.

"Ray, I can tell. I'm going to make it up to you."

"Are you?" I asked in a sexy voice.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he said seductively, then dropped to his knees before me, taking me all the way into his mouth with no warning at all.

"Oh god! Bob!" I cried out breathlessly.

He worked me with his mouth furiously, leaving me weak at the knees and gasping for breath.

"S-stop!" I managed out, pulling at his hair to get him to stop for a second. He looked up at me, puzzled as to why I had got him to stop when it was causing me so much pleasure.

"I don't want to finish yet."

He smirked, knowing what I meant.

"Follow me," he said, pulling me out of the shower by my hand and drying me very quickly with the towel I had gotten out for myself to use when I had finished my shower. He then quickly dried himself and then led me by my hand out of the bathroom and along the hallway, pushing open our bedroom door and then roughly pushing me into the room so I staggered and lost my balance, falling and landing in our office chair. The chair was in the bedroom because I had been standing on it to reach things from the top of the wardrobe.

"I've never had you in a chair before," said Bob in possibly the sexiest voice I've ever heard him use.

I gulped. The look on his face was making me slightly afraid... but at the same time unbearably excited. He walked over to where I was slumped in the chair from where I had fallen and slowly climbed on top of me.

"Don't worry Ray," he whispered in my ear, "this is going to be worth the wait."