Trust Me

RAYS POV

She was getting stronger. The peaks and troughs on the ECG machine were higher and lower than the last time I had been here, meaning her pulse was stronger.

I glanced at the clipboard attatched to the bottom of her incubator cot. Toro - Baby B Female. No.478526. The rest was nonsensical medical mumbo jumbo I could hardly read let alone understand.

I stood, looking down on her, wishing I could touch her tiny purple hand. After what felt like the longest time, I heard a voice behind me.

"Would you like to hold her?"

I turned my head to look at where the unfarmiliar voice had come from. The voice belonged to a kindly looking nurse who had seemingly been sat behind her desk without me noticing the whole time I had been stood there.

"It wont be for long mind," she added.

"A-are you sure?" I asked, surprised. It seemed so soon to be holding her.

"Its not going to do her any harm for just a moment. Besides, you look like you could use some cheering up." She had obviously noticed my tearstained face and bloodshot eyes.

She must have been late 50's to early 60's, grey hair pulled off her face and held in a neat bun at the back of her head. She gently opened the lid of the incubator and moved some of the wires aside so she could lift my tiny daughter.

I didn't have any idea what to do. I put out both hands to recieve her and the nurse gently laid her in my hands. I held her close to my chest and she started to squirm slightly and let out tiny whimpers.

"Thats marvelous," said the nurse. "It shows that her strength is right up."

I looked carefully at the tiny baby in my arms, taking in her tiny, slightly purple face. I gently changed positions so I could hold her with one arm and gently stroke her small hand with my now free hand. Her miniscule fingers grasped my index finger, her grip not even reaching all the way around.

Her eyelids parted slightly and a pair of blue baby eyes peeked out.

"She's going to have your eyes," smiled the nurse.

"But her eyes are blue," I said. Like Bob's.

"They always are, they will change after a few months, and I can tell by the shape of them that she'll have your eyes before long."

She wriggled again and let out a small hiccup.

"Probably about time to put her back," said the nurse and I nodded, gently placing my tiny daughter back into her incubator and carefully replacing the lid.

I stood and watched her for what felt like the longest time, talking to the nurse as I did so. I found out that her name was Annie and that she had worked here for over 20 years. She was supposed to have retired a few months ago but decided to stay on for a little longer. We had just started to talk about Bob. I had described him as a close friend, unsure of what her reaction would be if she knew the truth.

"Aww my poor dear, thats just dreadful," she said, looking at the floor.

"We're all just waiting on some news, hoping he'll be OK," I said, desperately trying to keep my voice steady.

"You've been here a while, there might be something by now."

"Yeah, I guess I should go check. I'll drop by and let you know before I leave," I said, trying to be the least serious I could.

"Good luck my dear," she said as I left the room, heading out of the babies unit and towards the ICU.

I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as I approached the desk to ask for news. All the time I had been sat here I had tried not to think about it, but now I had to. Now I had to know, one way or the other.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

"Can I help?" asked the lady behind the desk.

"I was wondering if you had any news on my h- close friend, Bob Bryar?"

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

"I'm sorry sir, we can only disclose information to family members at this time."

"His parents are on their way, they were out of the country when he was brought in. I'm sure he wouldn't mind you telling me, we're very close."

"In formation can only be given to family at this time, I'm sorry."

"Funny. You don't sound sorry. Alright, what if I were to tell you he's my husband?"

"Your husband, sir?"

"My husband."

She looked at me carefully, taking in my disheveled appearance and the wedding ring on my left hand.

"If you can answer some questions about Mr...." She glanced at her screen, "Bryar, that prove you are who you say then I am then permitted to disclose the information."

"Ask away," I said with a bitter smile. So now we're going to play 20 questions about my possibly dead husband? I must remember to fill in a 'Service Satisfaction' form on my way out...

Several ridiculous questions later I was walking briskly along the corridor behind the woman from the desk.

"I'll hand you over to the nurses and they can tell you what you need to know, I'm only given minimal information such as the room number."

I said nothing, just continued silently walking behind her.

"Here you are sir, recovery room 117, best of luck."

I mumbled a thank you as she opened the door for me and then stepped aside to let me go in first. I had presumed she would follow me but she did not, the door closed behind me and I was alone with Bob.

He looked like one touch would finish him off. He lay on his back, head swathed in bandages and body carefully tucked under several blankets. The only sound was the faint beeping of his heart monitor.

I couldn't believe it. He was actually alive.

I took four steps across the room and was suddenly stood beside him. His face was so pale, almost as white as the sheets beneath him. I went to reach for his hand, but it had a drip in it so I was afraid of hurting him if I moved it.

The door opened slowly and a male doctor entered the room.

"Ray, I presume?" he asked.

"How do you know who I am?" I asked him, confused.

"My name is Doctor Peterson, I was the neurosurgeon who operated on Mr. Bryar earlier today. I know that doesn't explain how I know your name, but take a seat, I've come to explain to you." He gestured to the two chairs to the side of Bob's bed.

I sat down and he sat down beside me and took a deep breath.

"I wont lie to you, the surgery Bob has just endured tests the limits of human endurance. He had to be awake and concious the whole time so that-"

"He was awake?" I interrupted.

"It is a nessecary part of this type of procedure for the patient to be awake. This way we can ensure that no parts of the brain are damaged or removed other than the tumour. We have succesfully removed all of the tumour and any affected surrounding tissues. I'm going to be straight to the point, there is some bad news. What happened to Bob early this morning before he was brought in was a result of immense pressure on his brain caused by the tumour."

He paused and looked around for a moment, then back at me before continuing.

"There is no easy way to say this. The section of Bob's brain responsible for controlling the movement in the right side of his body has been damaged. This could result in any number of complications. Worst case scenario, he is paralyzed on one side permanently. The best case scenario is that he makes a full recovery from this with few lasting effects."

I didn't know what to say. I was still just stunned that he was alive.

"He will be under close observation for the next 72 hours minumum. He could wake at any time, he is not sedated just exhausted from the surgery, and to be honest, so am I," he said with a smile.

"Thank you doctor, I really appreciate what you've done."

"I'm only doing my job. Ray, take good care of him, he'll be going through a scary few days now, he's going to be very disorientated and probably wont remember a lot of this. He talked a lot about you during the surgery."

"He did?"

"He kept saying how happy he was because of you."

I smiled and looked at Bob. The doctor left the room and I stood up, appraoching Bob's bedside. I had a strange feeling he was awake.

I gently took his left hand and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek softly.

"I love you," I whispered.

"Mmm," he mumbled faintly.

"Are you awake?"

"Mmhmm."

"Can I get you anything?"

"Nnn."

"Let me know, I'm right here. I'll be right here."