Road To Acceptance

Billie Joe was okay. He wasn’t as innocent as I first thought he was. He explained to me how he’s loved music since he was a tiny child, he explained how his father died, and how his mother remarried to some asshole. It went on like that until he wanted to know more about my childhood.

“Sidnee go get daddy for me.” My mom was laying on the couch in her costume still from work, smoking a cigarette. I smiled at my beautiful mom and bounced away looking for my dad. He was in his office shuffling papers around. I watched him go through a drawer and pull out a syringe.
“Daddy..” My soft voiced squeaked to my dad. Tears in my eyes already knowing what my parents were going to be doing right infront of me. They always promised me never to tell what they did to my teachers, babysitters, or even strangers. What they did inside the house, was never to be repeated outside the house. Especially at such a young age, I was willing to make my parents happy.
“What do ya want?” His thick Chicago accent echoed in the room.
“Mommy wanted me to come get you for her.”
He stood up and exited the room, walking past me, not giving a damn about his accident of a daughter. I happened because my parents we’re drunk and unaware that they needed protection. I grandma called me special though. She loved me more then anything. More then my parents ever would love me, even if they tried..
I turned to the living room and I could see my parents kissing each other, and moaning. My dad tour off my mom’s shirt and kissed her neck, chest and naval. My mom grabbed his arm to stop him.
“You know what I want Dave, give it to me.” She whispered in a seductive, needing voice. He grabbed her arm tight, smacked it directly on the vein a few times, and inserted the needle into her arm. She closed her eyes, and bit her lip, the pain and high obviously overwhelming her. Once my dad withdrew the needle she pulled him onto her, quickly returning to what they’ve always wanted most in life - pleasure.

“My life is different. I grew up in Phoenix, Arizona with my meth head parents. My mom was a stripper and my dad was the owner of several valley clubs. My mom would go on for nights, missing, returning with a random man at our door almost instantly. My dad didn’t care though. He would simply take it out on me, since I was considered the mistake in my family. For fun I learned how to entertain myself with the radio. My mom would regularly steal casette tapes from the local record store, and she would toss them on the coffee table for me to either tear apart or listen to...you know what I’m just gonna stop, I’m sure you don’t care.” I stopped, talking a sip of my soup.
“No continue please.” Billie said, placing his hand on mine. I looked down, then to him. “You don’t have to, but I really wanna know.”
“Okay, well....” I cleared my throat and continued. “After my mom’s third relapse, she thought it would be best if I stayed with my grandma. She was irresponsible and couldn’t take care of a 8 year old girl after awhile. At my grandma’s it was amazing. I would sit in her kitchen, play with her dog, go swimming with the neighbors, paint with her, sing with her, play piano. I did so much more then just sit infront of a radio and play cassette’s. I did much more. But once I was in highschool I started getting into more trouble, and I didn’t want to stress out my grandmother, she didn’t deserve it. I wanted to get back into music, and I wanted to see if my parents were as bad as I expected...and they were. My parents shot up more often, held weekend orgies, drank, partied, and didn’t even give a damn. My room was a total waste. The only thing cleared off enough for me to lay on, was the recliner. That was my new bed, for the next 4 years. But, Junior year...a month after my birthday, I came home from school and everything was quiet. Their was a distinct sound of the Sex Pistols playing in their room, but I didn’t hear the usually, panting, or moaning, or screaming coming from one another, it was silent. I put my bag down in the living room and slowly opened my parents door. They were a bloody mess, literally. They were hunched over, in each other’s arm - dead. They both gave each other too much, and just died. I called the police and fled before they got there. The problem was theirs to deal with, not mine. They get to see what was locked up and hidden in our Phoenix house, and I didn’t want to be there to see it happen. So, I came to California.” I crossed my legs and took a breath. “Anything else you would like to know?” I laughed and took a drink of water.

“Well, did you cry when they died?” Billie asked still shocked that all of this happened.
“Nope. The only time I ever cried with them was when my dad beat me, or I would watch them get high.” I bit my lip and looked down the street.
“Wow, that’s insane. How do you manage to be okay with everything? You’re not at all insane like I would imagine some people would be.”
“Yeah, well I don’t know. I guess I’m just different.”
“No kidding. Well do you want to get out of here and go back to your place?”
“I guess, but I don’t have anything there.”
“I know some place where we could steal some furniture, but you have to be in for it.” The look in his eyes were so different and immune to me. I love how each eye twinkled with such curiosity and hostility. The threat from his eyes had me shivering with anticipation.
“Are you kidding me, I’m always in for something like that, but you must explain one thing to me.”
“What’s that?” He said standing.
“You have to tell me what Mike told you about me before you came over.” I still sat down crossing my legs, waiting for him to quickly answer my question.
“Well he said that you were this cute girl that he knew I would like. He mentioned that you were pretty quiet and shit, so he wanted me to do anything I could to open you up more”
“And you did.”
“I did what?”
“Opened me up. I just explained my whole fucking life story.” I chuckled and pulled out a cigarette.
“Well I’m glad, but now let’s get out of here. You need somewhere to sleep besides the poorly cleaned floor.” He scratched his head and I stood. He trailed off ahead of me and I followed. My heart skipped a beat for what was to lie ahead...with this boy and stealing furniture.
Either way, I was up for an adventure.