Easy Is the Descent

She sat at a table in the corner alone, her head bowed. Listlessly she ate her spaghetti. Her eyes closed and she sighed. She sat her head down and wished for sleep.
She wished to never wake up. But a week of sleeping will keep you up during the day, and Heaven found herself staring, instead, into her cup of orange juice. She pushed her dinner around.

"You should eat it," someone said near her shoulder, "It'll do you good."

And there was Tarra and Frank, standing there awkwardly with their food.

Finally Tarra sat down and smiled, "You can't help that you're crazy."

She said it like it explained everything. And to her and Frank it did. As surprised as Heaven was that they would want to sit with her again she was even more so when Gerard sat down with his large stack of empty pages. He shot her a small smile and began drawing.

Heaven pushed her brownie at him.

He looked down at it for a second before smiling wider. He took a bite; his eyes closed, and then took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. He thrust it at her and she unfolded it slowly.

It was a pencil drawing of her from the first day she had approached him. Her head was down, her eyes closed. She looked up at him and smiled.

She ate all of her dinner for the first time that night.

~*~

She found herself unable to sleep and hesitantly tried the door to her room.
Unlocked. Oh how simple it was to sneak out. She had only tried this once before. She slid out the door, low to the ground and slid along the wall to the abandoned nurses desk.
The night nurse was probably off with the missing guard in one of the empty rooms.
Heaven slid through the files easily enough until she came to Gerards.

Way, Gerard A.
Age: 17
Hometown: Belleview, NJ

She skipped through the rest of his specifics until she got to the reason he was there.
Suffers from depression, anxiety, paranoia. Fear of being touched, mute. Symptoms began after the death of brother and best friend. Unresponsive in all activities.
She scanned further down until she found his room number. It was three down from her and on the opposite side of the hall.

She crept to it silently, peering into the small window.
She saw him kicking in his sleep and slipped his, unsurprisingly, unlocked door open. She stood above his bed, wondering how she would wake him. She decided on poking him with her slipper. That way she wouldnt have to touch him (though in the back of her mind she really wanted to) and he wouldnt have to touch her.

When his eyes finally drifted open to her prodding they were filled with tears. She sat on the floor, even with his face and he turned to face her with confusion evident in his eyes. She offered him a small smile. He returned it.

~*~

It took a few days but things started to go back to normal between her and her friends.
Gerard and Heaven had been taking turns sneaking into each others rooms at night. They never touched. Never woke each other up. He would leave her drawings tucked under her pillow and she would scratch small smiley faces into his wall with chalk she stole from the nurses desk one night. She was starting to feel less alone, and her good mood had come back.
She had even let Tarra pat her shoulder. But of course, good things never seemed to last and soon enough He had come back.

Heaven shot Tarra a look as she left their table, hoping her friend would catch on. She didn't and Heaven held back tears as they once again headed for her room. Her eyes were closed before the door had started to swing shut.

He grabbed her, pressing her into the bed. She beat at his shoulders, mouth open to scream. But no sound came out. It never did. And soon enough she was sobbing silently. He kissed her on her forehead and left her there. She wrapped herself in her blankets and cried. This time sleep found her. Her dreams were filled with her parents apologizing to her for leaving her to him.

And when she woke up her eyes were red rimmed and puffy from crying in her sleep. She wiped at her face and went to dinner. She knew she should get it over with. She didnt fancy having the nurse come to force her to dinner. She pulled on a hat and sunglasses as she left her room.

Tarra didn't question it. Heaven could tell that Frank wanted to, but he kept his mouth shut. Must be some sort of telepathy Tarra had over him.
Heaven chewed on the bread that came with the dinner. The rest she stared down at like it still had a face.

She pushed it away. Gerard pushed it back, a sudden knowledge in his eyes. She pushed it away again. He made a face, pushing it back at her and she found herself eating it, looking into his eyes.

That night she woke to Gerard running a gloved finger over a bruise on her collar bone. He climbed in the bed with her, hugged her close and for that night neither one cared that they hated to be touched.

~*~

Dr. Roberts hands were in his lap, clutching pen and paper. "Would you like to explain the incident in the cafeteria last week?"

Not really.

Silence. It was all he was getting from her. But she had a sudden thought. That maybe this place wasn't so bad for her. She reached out for the notepad he held uselessly in his hands. Seeing her intention he handed her the pen he held in his other hand.

She scribbled for a few seconds before turning the paper his way.

No Visitors!

The doctor nodded and made a note in her file.

"If I stop people from coming to visit you you'll make an effort to get better?"

She nodded.

"In that case I'd be happy to restrict visitation until you are willing to see people again."

She nodded again.

Maybe he cared more than she'd originally thought.

The rest of the appointment was spent in silence. When she left that day she was clutching an empty journal the size of her palm. Dr. Roberts had sworn that he wouldn't read it unless she wanted him to. That it was a way to make her more comfortable talking about things, and that maybe one day she would feel comfortable enough to talk to him directly.
She decided that she liked the man.

[Three Weeks Later]

Lunch was interesting. Tarra and Frank were cuddling at the lunch table. She was staring at them stupidly. Today they were joined by Nell and Minnie, who were fighting over a bowl of Cheerios.

"I thought you guys hated Cheerios," Tarra said with a sigh.

"I'm watching my cholesterol," they squawked together before laughing.

Eventually Minnie ran off and found a bowl of Fruit Loops to play with. How they managed to get breakfast food at lunch was a mystery. Heaven opened the journal to the first page and stared down at it. Shed had yet to write on single word in it.
Where does one start when writing a diary?
She pressed her pen to her paper and began, watching wearily out the corner of her eye as Nell eyed the pencil she had sitting to her left.
She shot her blonde friend a frown. Nell laughed, holding up both hands.

"Joking," she giggled.

Minnie sighed, "One day I'm gonna burn this mother down."

Heaven looked up at her with a grin. She couldn't tell if she was joking or not, but that was okay. For once it felt like everything would be okay.

I can remember where I was the day my parents died. I can remember what time it was.
It's one of those things that will affect you for a long time, not just the ten minute periods you tend to live in when you are a teenager.
I guess I was always like that as well. Never looking into the future or thinking about what would happen to me if something happened to them.
It's not something you like to think about. If my parents die I'll go...
I had never really thought about the fact that we were an incomplete family. But it was apparent with their deaths. My parents were all the family I had.
It was 10:17 am when I found out about their deaths. A cop came to tell me. I was sitting in art class drawing a flower that looked like a swan. My teacher was singing praises.
Teachers in private schools are so fake. They lie to you to keep your parents happy.
But I digress.

They pulled me out of class that day to tell me that my parents car had driven off road, smashing into a concrete barrier. Neither wore seatbelts and both were dead on site.
They said that they didnt suffer.
We all know when they say that its a lie though. I read the full police report. Free information Act or whatever; anyone can get their hands on it.

My mom choked on her own blood. The air bag crushed my dads chest and he suffocated. I guess in a way they died the same way. They went together.
It's weird to think that school saved your life.

"What cha writing?" Frank asked, peering at her journal.

Immediately she snapped it shut and clutched it to her chest in the same way that Gerard cradled his markers and crayons when someone came to close to him.
She looked over at the boy who was drawing. He had been ignoring them today. Something felt wrong. She looked over at him, hesitated before touching his arm.
The scribbling stopped. He shot her a look that stopped her heart in her chest. He pulled his elbow out of her reach and clutching at his art supplies ran for his room.
She stared down at the table as if it had all the answers in the world.

That night she waited until it was pitch black out her window before she headed to his room. She curled into her blanket and slept leaning against the door, falling asleep watching his breathing.
What was wrong with him?