Never Say Never

“God I hate airports.” Stephanie muttered as she walked out of the building, ready to face the heat of California once again. Hailing a taxi, Stephanie told the driver where to go. She’ll probably visit her mother but first, she needs this God forsaken man out of her head. Of all the things she needs right now, it was definitely peace.

She asked the driver to stop and sighed, facing a tattoo shop in Huntington Beach. Pulling out her cell phone, Stephanie dialed Val’s number.

“Stephanie?”

“Hey Val, I need you to tell me where Brian is.”

“Oh um, he’s at Jimmy’s—”

”Okay, thanks so much Val.”

“Hey Stephanie?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you—well do you want us to come? I mean, if you’re going to see Brian—the girls and I are your friends—.”

“Oh, Val,” Stephanie said sighing, “I’m glad that you’d offer but don’t worry. Oh and tell the girls ‘hi’ for me.”

“Will do.”

“Okay, to Jim’s…what the fuck am I doing?” Stephanie said softly.

But before she could do the sensible thing to go far away from Huntington and away from Brian, Stephanie told the driver the address.

In a matter of minutes, she was out of the cab and standing in front of Jimmy’s house, feeling stupid for not moving. Then, Stephanie narrowed her eyes and marched up to the house. Knocking on the front door, Zacky’s surprised face appeared.

“Uh Steph?”

“Zacky, Brian’s here?”

Zacky opened his mouth but before his words could come out, someone else spoke.

“Yeah, I’m here. What do you want Stephanie?”

Stephanie’s eyes flew up to Brian who stood further behind Zacky. Zacky moved aside to give her space to come in. She smiled at him in thanks and nodded to the rest of the boys who were watching intently. Stephanie was pretty sure they thought a fight was going to break out. She wouldn’t be surprised if it did, but she just came back—well thinking about it, Steph wasn’t too sure what she came back for now. The reason in her head was that she wanted to be normal again and she was positive saying her peace to Brian may help her. God, she hoped so.

“Hey to you too Brian.”

“What do you want?” Brian said through gritted teeth, each word clipped short. “I mean you can’t just show up like you own the place.”

“Like Hell I think I own this place Brian,” Stephanie said rolling her eyes. Someone cleared their throat.

“Yeah…um…we’re just going somewhere…” Jimmy said walking away, but the two barely took notice of the other men’s departure.

“Someone call Val!” Matt’s voice whispered roughly.

Ignoring them, Stephanie sighed and crouched, angrily running her fingers through her hair a bit. “God, I don’t know! Ever—ever since I left, I haven’t been the same. My job’s on the verge of pummeling down to the shit pits and Hell—.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Brian said, holding his hands up. Stephanie looked at him wearily. “Are you—are you saying you missed me?”

“No!” Stephanie shouted quickly, jumping up to her feet. But Brian didn’t listen to her, a smile already forming on his face.

“Yeah, you did! You missed me—.”

“Listen Brian, I think you have it all wrong! I—”

“I don’t think I do…you see Steph, I know you missed me you don't have to deny—.”

“God damn it! Stop interrupting me! I just—I just—I just want my life back!” Stephanie shouted. “Ever since I left, everything’s been fucked up and it’s your entire fault! Somehow…somehow you’ve done something. Like it’s like you took something and fuck man Brian, I want it back! I need it back! Whatever the Hell you did, undo it!”

Brian walked to Stephanie, framing her face with his palms. Talking softly he said, “Listen to yourself Steph, what in the world could I have done or taken to screw up your life?”

“I don’t know but you did something! You had to!” Stephanie said, tears forming. Wiping her eyes she stepped back from Brian. “God, I hate being so damn emotional.”

“Stephanie,” Brian said sighing, “I really—I don’t know how to help you…”

Stephanie sat on the ground and leaned against the wall. Brian sat right next to her, and took her hand, entwining it with his larger one. She glanced at him. “I had a dream earlier, you know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we were married,” she said, a smile forming on her lips as she remembered. “You were looking gorgeous as usual—.”

“As usual?” Brian mused.

“Well duh. I’m not blind and neither are you. We both know you’re hot, let’s not start dwelling on it.”

“You think I look gorgeous always?”

Stephanie looked at Brian blankly. “That’s all you really took from that?” They both burst in laughter. "God, our conversations could change. I think it's bipolar." Stephanie rested her head on Brian’s shoulder. As their laughter died down, Stephanie’s turned to tears. Brian embraced her.

“I missed you so much,” She said bawling. Brian rubbed her back.

“I know.”

“And—and that dream. We seemed so happy and normal. Why can’t I be so happy now? I want to be happy…”

“I want you to be happy too…”

“I want that Brian. Having that dream…I really want that. We joked and gave little compliments and everything was just so…perfect.” Stephanie said her nose a little stuffy while her tears subsided.

“Was it really?” he whispered, his chin resting lightly on Stephanie’s head.

“Yeah…”

“Stephanie?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you. I can’t stop loving you. I will always love you.”

“I know.”

“Why did you leave me?” Brian asked softly, his voice sad.