Wish You Were Here

Luna let out a shaky sigh as she slid out of Rob’s protective arms and onto the empty room she tip toed around their bed trying to escape without waking Rob and for a moment she felt like she was fifteen again sneaking out of the house towards Brandon’s arms. But this time she wasn’t worried about Parents. She was worried about her fiancé who now embraced a pillow instead of her. She managed to reach the garage without disturbing the tranquility of the night and began to pack for her endeavor. She hauled her surfboard into the bed of the new black Chevy avalanche, Rob had just bought and changed into her bikini. She slid into the wetsuit and pulled it up to her waist and placed the duffle bag with all her necessities in the back seat. She got into the darken cabin and took in account what she was doing. She could not do this. This was pure madness, a madness only Brandon Boyd could provoke in her. She was running off into the middle of the night to meet her old love, who she should really stop loving, while her fiancé slept. What if it was Rob doing this to her? How betrayed and devastated would she feel? Luna grasped the door handle, ready to walk away. She should go back to sleep, go back and curl once more into Rob’s arms and forget Brandon for once and for all. But she didn’t, she stayed inside and buckled her seat belt. There’s a part of her that she realizes will always want Brandon and long for his touch and affection.

Luna placed the keys in the ignition and started the car and began practicing her alibi, “ I couldn’t sleep so, I went for a drive, in your new car with my surfboard and bikini” .

She pulled into the street and gazed up to see if any of the lights had been turned on and thankfully none were. She drove off towards the beach murmuring the same three little words over and over again: Fuck. My. Life.
Brandon waited paitently inside his SUV drinking a steaming cup of hot chocolate. He unlike Luna had stayed awake since the gala, running over and over the things he would like to explain and tell her. And now as time commenced to flee, he began to think she changed her mind, when suddenly a black Chevy avalanche pulled up next to him, and he caught a glimpse of her, as the streetlight invaded the interior of her car and illuminated her face. She lowered the passenger window and smiled, “hi.”

“Hey, you had me thinking you changed your mind.”

“I almost did.”

“Ah well, I am glad you decided to come, I think this is past overdue.”

“Me too,” she replied softly, “so where are we going?”

“You’ll see. Just stay on my tail.”

Brandon led her through the empty streets of Venice and on t the pacific high way heading northward passing Santa Monica and its haunted pier and abandoned Ferris wheel, and finally reaching Malibu. She followed Brandon down a deserted street next to the beach and parked next to him. She threw on her hooded jacket and pulled out her duffle bag and got out her surfboard.

“Ready?” he asked as she approached him.

“Yeah...”

“C’mon.”

He adjusted his surfboard securely under his arm and grasped her hand with the other. Her cheeks burned at the sensation of his slim fingers around hers. His eyes met hers and he gave her hand a comforting squeeze. He led her down the sand to a spot near the shore.

“I used to come here all the time when I needed inspiration,” he murmured into her ear, “ I’d stay here for hours staring at the stars.”

Luna gazed upwards and met the moon’s oval face shining down upon them, she felt his hand leave hers as she counted the plethora of stars surrounding them. Her heart gave a lurch in her chest as nostalgia covered her green orbs and brought her back to the night Brandon forever wrote himself into her heart.

“It looks just like -”

“I know…the first night I came here, I searched all over the beach looking for the hammock and you. I thought somehow I had gotten a second chance to make things right,” he said putting his board down on the cool sand.

“But you didn’t.”

“No, not until tonight.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”

“Because I couldn’t.”

“Why what was so hard about telling me? What, you think I wouldn’t have been happy for you or something?”

“No, its not that.”

“Then what? What was it ? Because I want to know if it was worth hurting me like you did Brandon.”

“Luna -.”

“Brandon, I gave myself to you that night. I don’t think you’ll ever understand how emotional that was for me. I loved you. I trusted you to be the last person on earth to use me, and that exactly what you ended up doing, using me…”Luna ran a shaky hand through her darken mane and placed her board on the sand next to his, “I should hate you because of it. I shouldn’t love you as much as I do, but no matter how hard I try to stop I can’t.”

“You want to stop?”

“Yes,” she replied tears beginning to fall from her eyes, and catching the moonlight, “I cant marry Rob like this, not when I love you so intensely…you don’t even deserve it.”

“Then don’t marry him.”

“Brandon, its not that easy.”

“Yes it is. Look I haven’t managed to stop loving you either,” Brandon caressed the side of her face and was pleased when she leaned her face into his palm, “There hasn’t been a day when I don’t think of you. Even when I began dating Baylyn and thought I had managed to stop, you’d follow me into my dreams.”

Luna laughed softly, her eyes spilling more tears that Brandon wiped away lovingly with his thumb.

“Luna I am sorry,” Brandon confessed, “I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, using you was and is my last intention. I was a foolish twenty year old who was in love with his best friend and wanted that last night to be his happiest. I didn’t know how to say goodbye to you, I don’t think I know how even now. And looking back now it all seems so selfish to me and for that I am irrevocably sorry.” Brandon cupped her face in his hands, “I love you Luna, and always will.”

Luna brought her hands to his face and twirled a strand of his lose hair and let her fingertips trace the soft smile lines around is glorious mouth, “I love you too. Always.”

Brandon leaned his face and brought his lips to hers. He close his eyes and watched their galaxies collide and explode all around them in an arrangement of star dust fireworks and shooting stars. He knew then, as he did that night, that she was the one he was meant to be with ; she was his soul mate. And realized he could not bear to lose her once again. He pulled away slowly and took her in his arms.

“Don’t marry Rob Luna, please.”

“I cant do that.”

“Yes. Yes you can. Please Luna I love you.”

Luna placed a hand on his cheek, “ he loves me too. He’s been good to me. I cant just throw him away.”

“Luna we have a chance to be together.”

“We do? I am engaged Brandon and you have Baylyn. How do we have a chance?”

“I am leaving Baylyn.”

“Brandon you love here…don’t you?”

“I love you.”

“You loved her once.”

“I might’ve. But now I love you and I am not willing to lose you twice.”

“Brandon are you aware of the magnitude of what you’re asking me to do?”

“Yes.”

“He’s your friend for god sakes.”

“Not right now.”

Luna walked slowly towards the water and dipped her feet in the chilled ocean. Brandon was ready to leave everything for her, but could she do the same? Leave Rob, the man that had put so much of himself and his time to win her broken hear and fix it? She blew out a strand of heated air and watched it curl and disperse in the cold air.

“How do I know you’re not going to throw me away one day like Baylyn?”

“Because you’re Luna Jacqueline Daring, the one who always held my heart.”

“But Baylyn one time held it too.”

“Baylyn didn’t inspire me to write so many songs about love, like you did.”

Luna looked up to the twilight and wished the universe would give her a sign to who she should choice.

“ I am so confused Brandon.”

“No you’re not.”

“How would you know? You attach and detach from people with such ease.”

“Luna you don’t want to leave him because you don’t want to hurt him, not because you love him.”

“I do love him.”

“No, you don’t. why would you come here then?”

“Oh god,” Luna mumbled running another hand through her hair.

“You know very well that if there was a way to leave Rob without hurting him you’d do it.”

“Why didn’t you have a problem telling me you were going to leave Baylyn?”

“Because I knew the moment I saw you I had to leave her and be with you,” Brandon embraced Luna once more in his arms and kissed her forehead, “Don’t marry him.”

Luna snuggled deeper in his embrace and placed her ear next to his heart, letting his steady heart beat calm her frizzled nerves, “Let’s go surf.”

Luna watched the sky go from the deep navy blue to a tint of rose and knew it was time to go.

“He’ll be waking up soon,” she mumbled into Brandon’s chest, “ he’ll see I am not there.”
She kissed his bare chest and pulled away, “I’ll call you.”

“I love you,” he said softly pulling her back.

“I love you too.”

He brought his lips against hers once more and broke away, letting her go back to her car. He watched her disappear behind tinted windows and drive away from the rising sunset.

She watched his figure blur on her rear mirror and his pleases manifest before her. He wanted her to go home and give back the ring and half her heart back to Rob. Rob who had mended her, Rob who was good to her. She turned the radio and let the soft song drift into the empty car and fill her head. She let the lyrics dance on her tongue and grace her lips, until of course she realized it was Brandon who was singing, “Wish You Were Here.”