Losing Love

Mandy grunted loudly and surveyed her appearance in the bathroom mirror without enthusiasm. The sun was setting outside and she knew it was about time for her to leave. Why didn’t she just stand her ground and say she was not going to the beach party?

She shivered. She had gone with a simple ivory jersey that had been placed at the very back of her wardrobe for the past six months. It was on sale and Caroline – being the busy body she was – demanded that Mandy buy it.

“It is about time you show off those long legs of yours.” Mandy remembered her saying. But right now she thought the dress showed too much of her legs. It seemed too low cut, it showed off too much of her arms and just too much of her body in general. The only thing she did like was the chain-link belt that circled her hips. But there was no going back now. It was time for her to go and quite frankly, she was too lazy to change. She was just going to have to get over herself and hurry up.

Well at least it would keep her cool. It was still very warm outside at night and her body would welcome the coolness of the silk. With a deep sigh, she lifted her foot to the toilet seat and bent down to buckle the gold straps of her flat sandals.

“Mandy,” her name was called and came with a light tap on the bathroom door.

“Yes Garry.” She answered gliding some cherry lip gloss onto her full lips before rubbing them together.

“Are you ready?”

“Uh huh. I am coming out now.” She smudged some eyeliner to her already smoky eyes and brushed her fingers through her long dark caramel coloured wavy hair. Mandy made a mental note to get it cut soon. It was falling midway down her back. She thought it looked a bit messier than usual but right now she did not care about the random pieces falling onto her face. She just wanted to leave and get the party over and done with.

She unlocked the door stepped outside to the heat of the apartment. Already, she was regretting leaving her hair down. It felt too heavy on her head.

“Whoa.” Garry gasped and Mandy looked up into his cheeky eyes. His lips were parted slightly and were turning up into a soft smile.

Immediately, her face flushed. “I knew it. It is horrible, isn’t it?” Her hands waved around her in anger. Ugh, she should have just worn the pink summer dress she had. But it was pink. She wasn’t the biggest fan of pink.

“No!” He blurted. “You look hot, and I am serious you are steaming baby.” Garry smirked eyeing her up and down.

“Really?” Her eyes narrowed.

“Oh really,” he breathed. “Believe me, if I didn’t see you like a sister, I would be hitting on you right now but that is wrong in so many ways.”

“Agreed,” she added. “That is wrong, but thank you for the compliment.”

He grabbed his keys from the table and guided her out of the apartment and downstairs towards his car. Garry usually drove and left his car at the beach when he was leaving until he picked it up the following morning.

“So,” he glanced at her suspiciously from the corner of his eye when she started the car and they were driving towards the beach. Luckily, it was only five minutes away. Mandy would have loved to say that the area was very Beverly Hills with the beach but that was far from the truth. It was mostly locals that used the beach and even at that it wasn’t all that big. Well, it was big enough for a college party but everybody knew each other in the town so it was made sure that the beach was cleaned up before anybody could come to use it.

“So what?” She prompted him after he stayed silent.

“Who are you trying to impress?” Garry turned to look at her briefly, and then brought his eyes back to the road.

“Nobody,” she stated dryly. What did he think she was?

He grunted unbelievably while looking deep in thought.

“What makes you think I want to impress anybody?” She snapped sourly.

“I just thought, well with you look so amazingly gorgeous tonight,” he glanced at her again and smiled. “That maybe there might be someone. Well, I was almost hoping there was someone.”

“I am doing just fine the way I am.” She crossed her arms and leaned back in the chair.

“I’m not saying that, Mand. I know you are doing fine on your own. I just want to see you happy. The way you used to be, I mean.” He shrugged. “And don’t try and say that you are the way you used to be and that everything is great because it is not.” Garry stated.

She couldn’t argue with him. He was always honest with her no matter how much she liked it. In return, she exhaled slowly and turned her head to gaze out of the window and onto the slowly darkening streets. She didn’t want to answer him, and tell him she would never be as happy as she was, and he was stuck with the way she was now. Oh, she would have loved nothing more but to be as happy as she was but what miracle was going to occur to make that happen.

Nothing that is what it was.

“There must be someone that you are remotely interested in?” Garry interrupted her thoughts.

Whoa, something in her belly did a flip right then. She almost gasped at the feeling. It felt foreign to her but also familiar. She had felt it before but not in a long time. It had to be some sort of false emotion. Had she eaten anything today? Maybe it was her stomach asking for food.

Nope, she had definitely eaten today.

So what was it?

“Well?” Garry pressed.

“Well what?” She questioned, looking and feeling mystified. What was it he had said?

“Oh,” he exclaimed, grinning madly.

“Stop smiling like that, you are scaring me.” Mandy backed away mockingly.

“So, there is someone.”

She rolled her eyes and rubbed her suddenly chilly arms. It wasn’t cold outside or inside for that matter – far from it but yet she couldn’t stop the cold shiver creeping down her spine like a wet snake. Or those damn butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Those butterflies desperately needed to go back into whatever cocoons they had come out of.

“Is it Craig?” He laughed, but she knew by the tone of his voice that he genuinely believed his accusation.

“Craig?” She almost screamed in disbelief. Craig was their other roommate. Yes, he was very good looking by anyone’s standards, well if you liked that obvious fair hair, hazel eyes and a godly body.

Okay, leaving out the godly body part he wasn’t for her. Yes, she admitted he was good looking but not for her.

“Yes Craig,” he answered still wearing that damned smirk on his face.

“Have you lost your mind, Garry?” She couldn’t help but laugh at his overly active imagination.

“Oh come on,” he said stopping at traffic lights. “He is a pretty guy.”

“A pretty guy?” She turned to look at him, trying her best to suppress the giggle that was bubbling in her throat.

“You know what I mean,” Garry quickly answered. “He’s your type.”

“And how is it exactly that you know what my type is? Do I look like a bleached blonde haired, pink car and tiny dog in a bag kind of princess?” She tilted her head waiting for his answer. She was hoping for his sake that he said no.

“Obviously you are not but that is not Craig’s type even though you might think it is. He is the obvious jock and it is expected of him to date the bleached blonde haired, pink car and tiny dog in a bag kind of princesses, as you so mildly put it. So in turn, he dates those girls but he is not attracted to them,” he blew out a big breath.

“And how do you know that?”

“Because he is attracted to the dark haired girls with big green eyes. The mysterious types,” he emphasized the word and immediately she knew he was talking about her. He always calls her Ms. Mysterious when she is in a mood and she will not tell him what is wrong.

“Craig is not attracted to me,” she demanded, feeling her cheeks blush.

“Yeah whatever,” he groaned.

“Eww,” she finally choked out, shivering involuntarily as his words sank in. “I could never be like that with Craig.”

“I agree. You two would never last and he is a bit of a player. Besides, even though you do get on great with him, you two fight like cat and dog.”

“Why did you even tell me that? Now I am going to be looking out for signs.”

“And by the way,” he said. “Isn’t your bother dating one of those girls you just described?”

“No. My brother is dating a bleached blonde haired beauty who wished she had a pink car and a tiny dog to put into her bag princess types.” She corrected him confidently.

Garry just laughed as he pulled into an empty parking space at the beach. There were already enough people there to call it crowded, and Mandy could see a descent fire burning down a bit on the beach. She could hear the booming of the music and the waves left pearl white foam as they drifted in and out.

“The moon is out,” Garry pointed upwards to the snow white full moon that was bleeding its light onto the sandy beach.

“You are such a mushy guy,” she joked nudging him playfully as they both made their way down the steps.

“Shut up,” he grunted.

“Caroline doesn’t seem to mind so much.” That ought to get him back for giving her the 21 questions in the car.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” he murmured in her ear as she waved towards her friend and the group she was standing with.

“You really need to get a grip on yourself and stop being a jerk.” She told him stiffly.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Mandy rolled her eyes and filled her lungs with fresh air. “I know you like her, you admitted it to me, Garry. Now will you stop messing around with other girls just and ask her out.”

He huffed loudly and said, “We will talk about this later.” With that they both approached the large group. All of their faces were familiar but even more so Caroline’s and Shane’s along with Garry’s other friends.

“Hello you,” Caroline said sounding shocked as she hugged Mandy lightly. When she let go she was eyeing her up and down, just as Garry had done minutes before. “You wore the dress,” she squealed. “And it is amazing. You are such a dark horse.”

“I second that,” Shane raised his hand. “You almost straightened me out there for a minute,” he joked without even smiling.

Just then, Mandy watched as Caroline nodded frantically at Garry, as if she was trying to signal something to him. She looked like somebody in the middle of having a fit.

“I have a surprise for you,” Garry suddenly turned to Mandy with a wide smile on his thin lips.

“What kind of surprise?” She asked feeling extremely scared. She hated surprises.

“Turn around,” he advised her.

She gave him a wary look before she turned slowly and tried not to scream as the faces of her best friends Ben and Sally awaited her.

“Oh my God,” she ran to greet them and hugged them tightly before letting go. “I can’t believe you are here.”

“I know.” Sally exclaimed, the excitement making her voice rise in pitch. “But when Garry told us there was a beach party and invited us down here for a few days, I couldn’t resist and I have missed you so much Mand.” Sally hugged her again.

“I have missed you too,” she confided, feeling ecstatic about her friends being here.

Ben wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they walked back towards the group. “You look good, Mand,” he said rubbing her arm.

“Thank you,” she smiled gratefully knowing he wasn’t just talking about her appearance. The last few times he had seen her she had been an emotional wreck.

After awhile, when the four of them had a few drinks in their system, they stood by the large fire away from the rest of the group and let the heat warm their bodies. It was good for the four of them to be back together like this. Somehow, Mandy didn’t feel so torn apart. It was like there was a puzzle in her and the four of them were a major part of it. She was still missing something, though. She could feel it but right now it felt good to be put back together.

“So what is the deal with the Caroline chick?” Ben asked bluntly and Mandy could have sworn she saw Garry gulp down his beer painfully.

“There is no deal,” he answered shortly.

Ben gave Mandy and Sally an obvious look. He knew Garry better than that and it didn’t help that he was a horrible liar.

“Man, you have been stuck to her since we came and you can’t stop looking at her.” Ben stated stuffing his free hand into his khaki shorts that fell to his knee.

“See what I mean,” Mandy interjected smugly, glad that she wasn’t the only one who could see it.

“Yeah, I have to agree with Ben. You’re smitten,” Sally teased him, placing a lock of her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear.

“Can we stop talking about me now?” He swayed nervously.

Just then, Sally nudged her and pointed to the other side of the fire. “There’s Matt,” she smiled. He was wrapped tightly and securely around Suzie and huddled into another group where they were laughing and joking.

“Oh come on. He doesn’t know you are here.” Mandy was about to walk towards the other group when Ben stopped her.

“Who is waving at you?” Ben questioned, looking confused.

Mandy looked and her stomach did the same thing it did in the car. “Oh that’s Josh,” she said casually trying to hide the blush on her cheeks. She was glad she was standing by the fire right now. She waved back and smiled gently.

“Oh you know him? That’s good.” Garry sighed with relief.

“Why would you ask that?” Mandy asked him.

Garry laughed in shock. “Are you blind? He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since we have been standing here.”

Mandy could feel her cheeks burn even more, and the butterflies in her stomach made her feel sick.

“Can we go and say hi to Josh?” Sally asked in a zombie state staring straight at him.

“See the effect the opposite sex can have on you,” Garry teased her.

“No,” Mandy blurted, remembering the conversation she had with her brother earlier that day. “We are going to say hi to Matt,” she told them firmly.

“Something you haven’t told us?” Sally questioned sceptically.

“Of course not,” Mandy quickly answered in her best attempt to regain her composure. “He is Matt’s friend.” She demanded.

She walked away then and waited for them to follow her. Matt saw her as she approached and he, just as everyone else had done tonight, eyed her up and down with narrowed eyes. She was getting sick of that now.

“You scrub up well, sis,” he hugged her. Then, he saw Garry with Sally and Ben dragging their feet through the sand. He shook Ben’s hand and hugged Sally. “How is the other sister I never had?” Matt asked as he let go of Sally.

“I’m good. And the brother I never had?”

“There is no fear of me.” He smiled.

Matt introduced them to the rest of his friends. Some, Mandy already knew but she guessed the others were back from their year away.

“And this is Josh. But you already know him, Mand?” Matt smiled at her and to her it looked evil. So much for saying she could ignore him. Right now, she was standing right next to him and the heat she was feeling wasn’t from the fire. Mandy could feel the muscles from his arm rub against her every time she moved and her cheeks burned a deep pink.

Sweet divine what was wrong with her?

“So Mandy?” He finally said when the rest of the group were deep in conversation. She tilted her head up to look at him and her dark green eyes sparkled like nothing he had ever seen before.

“Casanova,” she nodded, a hint of a smile spreading against her tender lips.

“That is really starting to stick,” he breathed shaking his head.

“That is what you get when you are over-confident with your remarks,” she joked.

He shrugged. “I guess so. And there was me thinking that you were going to wither away without me,” the fake expression of devastation on his face made her giggle.

Crap, did she just giggle? Really giggle?

She needed to get a grip on herself.

“I tried my best not to wither. It was hard but I did it,” she answered and he laughed.

But then his face turned serious as his eyes explored over her. “No,” he said under his breath but she could hear him and she was meant to. “You definitely did not wither.” He said seriously.

Her eyes found his again and she could have sworn her breath caught in her throat when he looked at her.

Damn that man!

Biting down on her lip, she looked away before she fell into his gaze. A few moments later, she felt his body move away from hers and for a brief moment she thought he was leaving but her disappointment soon disappeared and her heart pounded against her chest with the feel of his breath against her ear. To anybody else he was merely just telling her something but to her and she knew it was the same for him, it was an intimate moment and if he didn’t stop her heart was going to explode.

“You look beautiful by the way,” he whispered with a sure honestly and firmness to his voice. She shivered as it slipped from his lips.

When he moved back to where he was, her back was leaned against part of him more firmly now and she stood there frozen for a long moment with her head spinning before she finally worked up the courage to look at him. When she did, he was looking straight ahead and a brief soft smile caressed his mouth.

“That is one remark I am sure I can be over-confident with.”

She swallowed hard. He looked at her then, and those stupid eyes of his made her feel she had crumbled right there in front of him.

She couldn’t do anything. She couldn’t say anything. Yes, she was being ridiculous but nobody ever told her being ridiculous could feel so good.

Her lips parted slightly and turned up into a crooked smile. Her chest was rising and falling frantically but she didn’t blame it, considering the rate her heart was beating.

Was it wrong that all he wanted to do was take her upturned face and cover her mouth with his?

She looked away, still smiling, of course. Why the hell did he have that effect on her? The last time her heart went like that was for...

Mandy shook her head. It wasn’t worth thinking about.

“Uh huh,” she jumped as Sally let out a low whistle. Mandy had forgotten there was anyone else on the beach for a moment. “Of course not. He is Matt’s friend.” Mandy recognized the words as the ones she had said earlier. Sally was mocking her.

“What?” Mandy demanded.

Sally shrugged casually and then said so low only Mandy could hear her, “I don’t think he is going to be just Matt’s friend for much longer.”