Losing Love

“Mandy,” she winced stretched her aching limbs, as a distant voice erupted through her darkness. “Come on, get up. You are going to be late for work.”

She jumped up, feeling the rush through her body as her head spun due the sudden movement. Garry was staring at her with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and a glass of orange juice in his hand.

“Thanks,” she murmured, hardly managing to keep her eyes open as she took the cold glass from him and sipped on the bitter liquid.

“What time did you get to sleep at?” He questioned, sitting on the end of her bed.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged honestly, rubbing the heavy fog away from her eyes.

She had not been sleeping great the past few weeks. She started work a fortnight ago and loved it but the late nights left her exhausted. Her past had rarely affected her sleeping. It wasn’t because she never thought about it, it was because the crying usually tired her out and before she knew it she was dreaming. But this time it was different. There were no tears. Sometimes she thought of Nick, sometimes she thought of Ellie, and sometimes she thought of nothing at all. Her mind would go blank. Lately, she thought of Josh. She had not seen him since the beach party three weeks ago, but she could still feel his breath on her neck as he came close to her and whispered in her ear. Mandy never thought she would never think of a man like that again and honestly, she did not want to. It pained her too much, and the longing to see him was just a constant reminder of everything she had lost.

Last night she stayed awake and wondered what her daughter looked like, and if she was walking, or starting to make sentences with her broken words. She was one year old the previous month, and not that Mandy ever could stop thinking about her, she thought about her every day but since her first birthday she was constantly on her mind. She wanted to see her face and watch her run around. She wanted to know if the life she chose for Ellie was everything she had wished for. Everything she thought she couldn’t give her.

“You really need to start sleeping, Mandy. This can’t be good for you.” Garry interrupted her crushing thoughts that were forming light tears in her eyes.

“I know.” She agreed, a soft smile forming on her lips. “I will.”

“I can’t imagine what you are going through so I am going to sit here and act like I understand but I’m worried about you. You haven’t acted like this in awhile.”

“I’m going to be fine, I promise.” She said trying her best to ease the worried expression on her friends face.

“You always are,” he smiled. “So,” he sat up straight to change the subject. “What are we doing for your birthday?”

“Nothing,” she blurted making him jump. “We are doing nothing,” she said calmer this time.

“Oh come on grumpy guts you have to do something. It is your last time ever being able to say that you are a teenager. You are going to be twenty.” He almost screamed as she manoeuvred herself out of the bed to stand up.

“Just because you got polluted for your twentieth birthday does not mean I have to,” she argued her tone fierce.

“Yeah, well we will see.”

She noticed something then. Garry was fully clothed – in the same he was wearing yesterday, and his bed was still made. She was awake till the early hours of the morning and she had not heard him come in.

“Are you only getting in?” She finally realized. The guilty look on his face told her everything she needed to hear. “You stayed in Caroline’s didn’t you?” She almost screamed, the shock making her voice grow in pitch.

“Nothing passes you, does it?” He rolled his eyes.

“Will you just ask her out for Christ sake?” Mandy waved her hands with desperation. She was starting to get sick of their little games. And she didn’t have the gag reflex to listen to Caroline go on and on about how amazing Garry was. She didn’t need to know every little detail about him from Caroline. And the worst part was that she was stuck in the middle like their mediator.

“Maybe I will,” his voice was bear whisper but loud enough for Mandy to hear.

“Well hurry up about it. I am growing tired of the two of you. Just get it over and done with.”

“I could say the same about you and Josh.”

“I am leaving now.” She said hoping to avoid that subject. Garry had been trying but failing miserably to get her talk about Josh since the party. She was allowed to think about in the privacy of her own mind but talking about him was a different matter. It annoyed her that she thought about him so much. Ugh, she shook her head.

“Why don’t you just get it over and done with?” She heard him mutter under his breath before she left the room and stumbled towards the bathroom.

An hour later, she arrived at work. Caroline was standing behind the counter as she entered the museum gift shop.

“You’re here early.” Mandy commented as she put her handbag down and eyed her friend suspiciously. Caroline had also gotten a job at the museum for the summer so Mandy wasn’t totally stranded there with nobody to talk to. But it also meant that she spoke about Garry all of the time. Hence why she said she was getting sick of them both. Although she should not complain, she didn’t see Caroline from one end of the day to another. Apart from lunch breaks the two were separated. Caroline worked in the gift shop and Mandy did workshops with groups of young children that came on a visit to the museum. It usually consisted of school tours or clubs but she enjoyed immensely. She never knew how excited children got because of the smallest thing. Maybe it was spending so much time with children that brought on the constant thoughts of Ellie.

“I got bored at home so I decided to come in and get a head start. We should be busy today there is a few groups coming in to tour the museum.” Caroline’s soft voice boomed through her daze. She was doing that a lot lately – going into a world of her own.

“I know,” Mandy said, keeping her gaze on her friend who was shifting from one foot to another. Mandy could tell she was getting uncomfortable.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Caroline huffed.

“You know exactly why I am looking at you like that.”

“Ugh, does he tell you everything?” She retorted, groaning loudly.

“No but when his bed isn’t made and he is wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday, it doesn’t take me much to figure out what he was doing, and you were my first guess as to who with.”

Caroline stayed silent for a long while, glancing at Mandy from the corner of her eye every few seconds before she dumped her body on the wooden chair.

“That man drives me completely insane sometimes,” she let out, making the dark skin around her lip pale in colour as she violently chewed on it. “I should have said no, but of course I couldn’t. All he has to do is click his fingers and I am there.”

“You like him right?”

“Do you honestly have to ask?” She replied shortly.

“Well just ask him straight out. Ask him what the deal is with you two. There is no point beating yourself up about something you did. You can’t change it and I honestly don’t think you want to.” The truth was exactly what she needed right now. “And quite frankly, I refuse to listen to you and Garry rant and rave. I am sick of it. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and get your ass up from the seat.”

“What is wrong with you?” Caroline shot back but doing as she was told and getting to her feet.

“Nothing,” Mandy breathed, trying to calm her quickening pulse. She had a short fuse this morning and it wasn’t going to take a lot to get her annoyed. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.” She explained whilst taking a deep breath.

With that the bell chimed as the door opened.

“Good morning girls.”

“Good morning Mr. Carey,” the responded in unison. Mr. Carey was owner of the museum which was in his family for decades.

“Mandy will you come with me for a moment?” He asked, a gentle smile gracing his handsome face. He was a tall man with smiling pale blue eyes. His black hair was peppered with strands of grey and was cut short. Even for his age he was a handsome man and she could only imagine what he would have looked like twenty years ago.

“Of course,” she nodded and grabbed her bag. “See you later,” she told Caroline before leaving to stroll by Mr. Carey’s side.

“Is there something wrong?” She finally asked the question that had been pondering around in her head.

“Not at all,” he quickly answered, shooting a familiar smile in her direction. “I just called you to say that you are doing a fantastic job with the workshops but I have noticed that a lot of the groups can be very large in numbers and I can’t expect you to do it all alone so I have hired someone to do the workshops with you.” He informed her.

“Oh thank you. That is good.” She was grateful for that. He was right, most of the groups that participated in the workshops were very big but she managed because she had to. Having someone to help her was going to be a relief.

He led her into the archaeology room where she brought the groups to do artificial digs to find fossils that were planted there.

“You will actually be working with my son so don’t take any crap from him.” He winked before opening the door into the large hall. Numerous sections of the hall were designed to make you think you were brought back in time to different periods in history such as the medieval times and ancient Egypt.

The Carey family were a wealthy family so she could only imagine what their son was like. Probably uptight only child with a snobbish personality, but then she was just making assumptions.

Oh yes she was definitely making assumptions because he was waiting in the hall when they walked in.

“Mandy I would like you to meet Josh,” Mr. Carey held out his hand towards his son.

His son?

She almost died right there on the spot. The children would be finding her fossils soon.

Josh’s eyes widened as his loud laugh resonated around the room. “I can’t believe it,” he chuckled.

“Hey,” was all she could say. Her words were trapped in her throat.

“You two know each other,” Mandy saw how Mr. Carey glared at his son sceptically. Lord only knew what he was gathering from the situation and from the look he was giving his son he probably thought Mandy was another girl his son played around with for awhile.

Now she knew why Mr. Carey’s smile seemed so familiar to her.

“Mandy is Matt’s sister, dad.” Josh explained, obviously getting the same vibe from his father as Mandy was.

“Oh, well that is a relief,” Mr. Carey murmured. “Of course you are Matt’s sister.” He told himself. “Well considering that I do have to do the introducing, I should leave you two to it. Be good.” He warned Josh with a deathly glare before he left the hall, the sound of the banging door echoing around them.

“Out of the all the people I have to work with, I was given Casanova,” she laughed rolling her dark green eyes.

“How your heart must have leapt when you saw my face.”

My heart did triple flips when I saw your face, she thought to herself. It still was.

“Of course, I have missed you so Casanova.” She mocked, positioning her hand over her heart. It was beating like crazy but he would never know that.

“This is going to be fun,” he grinned, almost evilly.

“Don’t smile like that,” she pointed at him. “It scares me.”

“You have seen nothing yet.” He nudged her as she brushed past him.

“Have you ever done this before?” She questioned making her way down the hall towards the sandpit.

“I did it last year with the kids.”

“Okay, then you know what to do.”

“Grrrr!” She jumped, letting a screech escape from her throat. She turned around and was greeted by the skeletal head of a dinosaur.

“Put the dinosaur head down,” she bit down on the skin of her lip to stop the hysterics from shaking through her body.

“What will we name it?”

“We are not naming the dinosaur.”

“Nancy,” he blurted.

“You can’t name a dinosaur Nancy and how do you know if it is even a girl.”

“Look at those cheek bones,” he gestured, rubbing the area under the eye socket. “And those lips. Pucker up and kiss it baby.”

“Oh my God,” Mandy said amazed. “I am working with a lunatic.”

“I told you. The scary is only beginning. Besides, it is fun for the kids if you name them.”

She shook her head. “I am not naming dead and decomposed animals.”

“Don’t say that,” he swallowed, his eyes becoming sorrowful all of a sudden. “They are going to hurt their feelings. They are not decomposed. They are just moving on.” He nodded firmly. “Now apologize to Nancy. If she had eye balls right now there would be tears falling from them.”

She couldn’t say anything. All she managed to do was laugh.

“Mission accomplished.”

“What mission did you accomplished?” She quizzed.

“I have a mission to make at least one person smile every day. I’m just the lucky one who gets to see your smile a lot more than once a day.”

Her heart stopped. His chocolate eyes were melting through her like ice-cream on a hot day. His comments were not helping the fact that she was trying to stop thinking about him. No it was just like adding fuel to an already blazing fire.

With that, she inhaled sharply as the sound of loud voices filled the hall. She glanced over her shoulder to the group of children that were filtering into the room.

“Your morning group is here,” a small lady shouted from the door before turning to leave.

Thirty minutes later, Josh and Mandy had introduced themselves to the teachers and had settled the group of seven to ten year old children. Presently, they were assigned to different areas and had a list of specific items they had to find.

“I found a dinosaur head,” a high pitched excited voice ran towards Mandy.

“Oh wow. Tick that off on your page.” She smiled. “Josh,” she called. He stood up from helping a little girl in the corner.

“Uh huh?”

“This little guy here,” she patted the boy’s sandy hair. “He found Nancy.”

Josh beamed happily. “I knew you would warm to the idea,” he winked. “I am going to bring you Egypt,” he indicated towards the area of the room that was decorated to be ancient Egypt. “You think Nancy is good. Wait till you hear what I have named the Pharaohs.”

“Looking forward to it.”

And she was. He had no idea how much.