Losing Love

Mandy stood there frozen for a moment, her eyes closed, her mind wondering what the hell was happening. But almost involuntarily, her lips began to move against his, suffocating the need to deepen the kiss as he grazed his tongue against her lip, letting it slip in to explore her mouth. He deepened the kiss for her in a wild hungry possesion. She was going lax as the seconds ticked by, her whole body pouring into him. Then the immpossible happened, he made her go even more lax when he framed her face with his hands, tangling his fingers in her hair. She knew she probably should but she couldn't pull away from his magnetic touch.

Heat radiated throughout her body when she wrapped one arm around his neck and leaned the other against his toned torso for support, in fear her legs would collapse from under her. The vibration of muffled groan at the back of his throat caused heat to flame in her body.

Then ever so slowly, he softened the kiss, finally lingering still on her lips before pulling away. She decided to stay there for a moment, with her eyes gently shut as soft, tender lips pulled away from hers. She wanted to yank them right back, to tell them never stop caressing her mouth they way they just had.

But she wasn't thinking straight, was she? She couldn't be. It was late and she had had enough drink to make her sight daze a little. Then why was it that something inside was telling her that is was not the effects of the alcohol that was making her dizzy? No of course it was not Vodka, it was the sweet taste of warm honey lips.

Mandy hadn't kissed anyone like that since Nick. Damn, she hadn't kissed anyone since Nick. Even so, this kiss with Josh felt different to her – almost more grown up – if there was such a thing. It felt warm, and wholesome when she touched him. Her body didn't feel so empty, so alone and scared. And most of all, her heart didn't feel so cold.

But as fast as it could lift her twenty feet in the air, it dropped her again with a painful thud.

What the hell was she doing? Did Josh seriously just kiss her? Lord, did she just kiss him back? She had totally just lost her freaking mind.

She had let her guard down for one night, and the only place she was going to end up was Heartbreak Island. Ugh, sometimes she was so...

Honey? Those lips smoothed against hers again, and sent her body on a wild frenzy of foreign heat and emotions.

What was it that she was saying? Oh who cared where she ended up as long as those lips stayed connected with hers the way they were right at that very moment. This man really was threatening to invade her mind, her senses and what worried her the most – her heart.

Just as that thought floated through her numb mind, he gently released his lock against her lips. This time she decided to open her eyes, realizing she must have looked like an idiot with them closed for so long last time. And there they were, those chocolate coloured orbs that she had to remind herself not to get totally submerged in – she might lose herself all together.

"Wow," Josh breathed, pondering his gaze out onto the city and back to her face again.

His voice broke the silence, and reminded her that she had been holding her breath. She supressed the cough as she sighed quietly.

She watched him in awe as his hand raised to remove a lose curl from her face, slowly placing it behind her ear. She couldn't take her eyes off of him; his strong jaw line clenched as he licked his lips and pressed them together. His eyes like velvet smooth hot chocolate were hard not to sink into.

His thumb glided over her bottom lip causing it to part from her top. His eyes, she noted, were searching her face with an undeniable seductivity. A hot flame burned in his eyes and had no shame in soaring right through her.

The heat she was feeling in her body right now, definitely was not the alcohol. Oh no, this was something nothing to do with anything else but her weakness towards this man, her desire to suffocate his mouth with hers.

The buzz of her phone knocked some sense of reality back into her. Cursing whoever it was, she opened her bag and removed her phone.

"Hello," she answered.

"Don't sleep with him," Sally's voice giggled. "I thought I should ring you just to tell you that. I noticed you had left, then Matt noticed that Josh had left and we put two and two together. Actually we put you two together... in a bedroom... somewhere."

"Seriously Sally, get real." Mandy could feel her cheeks flush. She did not want to argue with Sally that she was not sleeping with Josh tonight... or ever, right in front of him. That would be slightly awkward.

"We can leave now," Josh murmured low enough that only she could hear it. Mandy nodded quickly, smiling gratefully.

"Look, I'm not far away, I'm coming back now."

There was a long pause on the line. "Am, yeah," Sally stuttered. "I'm not at the club anymore."

"Where are you then?" Mandy quizzed.

"I'm at your apartment," Sally admitted, her voice drenched in guilt.

Then it clicked with her. Sally was back in her apartment with Craig. And she had the nerve to give out to Mandy for disappearing.

"Sally please be good and if you can't be good be careful." There was no point in Mandy giving her a lecture on how she didn't agree with what she was doing. She would get no thanks for it and Sally was a grown woman, she knew exactly what she was doing.

"I will," she squealed, giggling like a school girl.

"Okay, I am going to hang up right now cause I really don't need to be on the phone any longer. I am afraid of what I might hear."

There was no "goodbyes", or "see you later" just a dead phone line. Mandy slipped the phone back into her bag and let out a deep breath.

"Everything alright?" Josh asked.

"It will be," she replied. "But you are not getting rid of me just yet. You are going to have to think up of something else to do – and don't get any inappropriate thoughts in that head of yours. But I am not going home just yet. My friend and my roommate." That was all she had to say.

His eyes widened, and his head shook in understanding. She could see he had been through this before. "No problem. They are doing me a favour."

"How could they possibly be doing you a favour?"

"They are giving me a chance to spend some more time with you," his voice was serious and so were his eyes.

Lowering her head to hide the faint blush that was creeping under her skin, she couldn't help the smile from tugging at her lips.

A deep breath gave her some of her stabability back. "Well come on Casanova, what are we going to do?"

His eyes narrowed for a moment, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Come on, beautiful." He grabbed her hand and pulled her along.

"Do you like pulling girls everywhere?"

He just laughed, shrugging off her dig at him. "I've got somewhere were we can be comfortable for awhile," he explained, keeping a tight grip of her hand as he led her down the old stairs and through the darkness of the house. Her heart stopped racing when her feet reached the concreate of the outside pathway. They were out of there.

She wondered how such an ugly building could have such an amazing rooftop. It was almost like a secret area, only for the eyes of the privilaged few who were taken there. Nobody standing at the bottom of that building would have ever dreamed that such a beautiful place even existed in that building.

This time Mandy justed walked by his side instead of asking any questions. She trusted him enough to know he wouldn't take her anywhere they would be in danger.

She also noticed that he hadn't let go of her hand yet. She didn't want him to. She wanted them to stay laced together the way they were.

"The beach?" she questioned as he guided her down the steps into the sand.

"Don't worry, we are not staying on the beach for the night. But it takes a stroll on the beach to get there."

Now she was confused but again, she didn't question him. She preferred not to.

The moon's reflection was dancing on the black water, and the only sound was the sound of the white foamed waves crashing against the sand, sliding into the shore.

Her heart tightened then as he slipped his hand away from hers and caressed it in around her waist, pulling her close to the warmth of his body. There, he just simply kissed the top of her head.

She didn't say anything, either did he. It was like they thought they would ruin the moment by speaking, and they appreciated each other's silence. Just like we did in the car the first day we met, Mandy suddenly remembered, unable to hide the smile.

"Here we are." He stopped, and rummaged through his jeans pocket to take out a set of keys.

Mandy followed his gaze to the left of her. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped and she couldn't help but suck in a lung full of air.

"Family beach house," he explained, gesturing towards the brown wooden steps up into a terrace filled with cream cushioned sun loungers. Two huge, glass sliding doors led the way into the house, and another two were above her, leading their way from the balcany. The master bedroom, she guessed. "We hardly ever use it though," Josh said as he unlocked the doors and opened them.

Ah why not, Mandy felt like asking. She knew the family had money but Josh never bragged about it. He could have been a pauper for all she knew, until she realized that he was 's - her boss and the owner of the museums son. He was also involved in numerous other businesses but Mandy hadn't a clue about them. It was all too complicated for her.

Josh switched on the light to an open kitchen come living area. It was airy and spacious. Beautiful white and apple green walls. The kitchen cupboards were white with a black marble counter top, and the large cushioned couch was the same apple green as the some of the walls.

"Let me show you upstairs."

Mandy eyed him for a minute, scrutinizing his posture and the way he was looking at her.

"I said show you, that's it," he assured her, kissing her lips lightly.

Yes she knew what he said, but this man did something to her. She trusted him completely. It was herself she couldn't trust. But taking a deep breath she followed him to the corner of the room where he opened a door to unveil a black spiral staircase.

"Fancy," she mocked.

"Come on," he laughed at her.

He stepped back to let her go first and he followed close behind her. Once she reached the top her heels clicked against pine wooden floors. A large four poster bed stood proudly in the middle up against the white painted wall. Beautiful wall hangings gave the room a homely feeling. Large double doors on the farther side of the room gave her the view of the dark sea and she could only imagine what it must be like waking up to the sea every morning.

"This is where you are staying tonight," he told her. She looked at him then, her eyes confused, her brain feeling the same. "We are both exhausted tired, and you obviously can't go home, that's just wrong," he laughed and she was reminding of Sally. "I am going to sleep downstairs on the couch so you can have all the privacy in the world."

"Josh, I can't."

"No, you won't but to be honest I'm not letting you go home now."

She smiled, she had to admire his presistance.

"And come on, look at that bed, you can't say you don't want to try that out."

He was right, that bed looked like heaven.

"Okay," she sighed, giving into him.

"Thank you," he nodded. "Now before I leave to let you sleep, let me do this."

His lips met hers softly and as she moved them against his, he framed her face with his hands, tangling her fingers in his hair. Then slowly, he pulled away, both of them coming up for air before he kissed her one last time.

"Goodnight sweetheart." He rubbed his finger along her cheek, then turned to leave.

But God damn it, she didn't want him to leave.

Automatically, she reached out and grabbed his wrist. He looked back at her, his eyes soft, tender and affectionate as they looked at her.

"Stay," she breathed, swallowing her fear. "I don't want you sleeping on the couch. Just stay here tonight. We can be adult and just sleep next to each other right," she half smiled

"Mandy, I never wanted anything so much in all my life." Then fiercely he leaned in and kissed her with so much fire her lips burned with passion after he had left them.

And that is what he did that night. He stayed with her, held her close in the perfect fit of his arms.

And for the first time in such a long time, Mandy fell asleep in the warm arms of someone that she was losing herself to.