Awake & Unafraid - Asleep Or Dead

For whatever reason, this show felt different. But not like it did the first time I saw Jessica.

Gerard seemed almost in a frenzy, on an insane adrenaline rush.

The crowd was along for the fast-paced ride.

Never had I seen them play so frantically, pouring every ounce of themselves into a performance.

And when it was all over, when the music stopped and the fans were leaving, they booked it off the stage so fast I wondered if they had ever been there at all.

This time when I made my way out the back door, there was only Gerard waiting for me.

"Where'd everyone go?" I said in confusion, looking around me as if they all might be hiding nearby.

Gerard shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Oh, you know. They had stuff to do."

I raised an eyebrow but allowed him to open the passenger side door of his car for me.

"So what's on the agenda then? I take it we're not getting pancakes." I said teasingly as we passed our usual diner haunt.

Gerard glanced at me sideways. "I thought we'd go to the tower."

"The tower?" I scrunched my nose up. "We haven't been there since...the night I met you."

He gave me a cute little grin. "I know. That's why I want to go."

I shrugged, singing along softly to a song that had come on the radio. Gee accompanied it with humming.

Pretty soon we were belting out songs together, laughing maniacally.

"There it is!" I pointed excitedly out the windshield as the water tower came in to view.

Gerard rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Captain Obvious."

This time I only hesitated a few seconds before climbing up. Gerard clapped for me when we got to the top; I bowed mockingly.

For awhile we talked about nothing in particular, sitting with our backs against the graffiti-covered tower.

Gerard seemed so nervous tonight; I wondered if something had happened earlier in the day. He had that same rushed air that he had had at the show.

"Ava..." He said my name softly.

I turned my head and smiled at him. "Yeah?"

He jumped up and started pacing up and down the railing. I stared at him. "Gee, what's gotten in to you tonight? You're acting...really strange."

All of a sudden he stopped and turned to me with a crazed grin. "I am, aren't I?" He laughed loudly. "Funny how I can always find the right words for a song, but when it comes to my heart..."

There was silence as I contemplated his words. And then I gasped with understanding.

Carefully I stood up and faced him, my mouth trying to work but no words coming to mind.

In two strides he was there, his hands gently holding onto the sides of my face. Our breathing was ragged.

"You – you’re saying..." I managed to get out. I just couldn't say it.

He smiled, such a heart achingly beautiful thing. "Yes. Or at least I’m trying to say it." His answer was quiet, but his actions were loud.

His lips were on mine and suddenly we were floating in space. There was only him, and me, and us.

My hands were in his hair, my body reacting hungrily.

And too soon he had pulled away, his forehead resting lightly on mine.

We gazed into each others eyes, no words needing to be spoken.

Another smile, another touch of my cheek. "You're my something real, Ava." He whispered.

And I knew that he was mine.