This Is What Happens When Love Meets Destruction

A light breeze blew through the area, causing the pretty leaves on the large maple tree in front of my house to blow back and forth. Sighing quietly, I let my eyes linger on the living room window when I saw that the curtains had moved slightly. Wondering who it was, I focused my eyes and then frowned to myself when I realized who it was. Turning my eyes from my house, I looked back to Jack.

"You want to come in?" I asked quietly.

"I would, but I have to get my mom's car back to her." He replied. "You heard what she'll do to me if I'm not back in a timely manner." He reminded me.

"Alex is here." I mumbled. "I don't want to go in there by myself." I admitted.

At my words, Jack let a small sigh escape his lips before he nodded his head, and then reached up to turn off the car. Without another word, he got out the car and I followed suit. We walked to the front door in silence, me leading the way while Jack walked just behind me, his hand resting gently on the small of my back as if he were making sure I wouldn't turn around and head back toward the car.

I admit, that's what I wanted to do. I remember the things I had told Jack last night before we left the party, and I remember the anger in Jack's voice as we passed by Alex. I hadn't known until that moment that Alex was there, and a mere twelve hours wasn't nearly enough time for me to get over myself and face him.

But, like Jack had said, running from Alex wouldn't do me any good, it wasn't going to solve anything. If anything, it would make things worse than they already were.

Taking a deep breath, I let it out in a restless sigh before I opened the front door and led Jack inside. As soon as the door shut behind us, my mom called out a greeting, letting us know that she was in the kitchen.

Jack gave me a reassuring smile as we bypassed the living room where Alex was, and made our way into the kitchen where my mom was standing over the stove, preparing some lunch. Our footsteps let her know that she had company, and she turned around, giving me a small smile which soon turned into a surprised look when she caught sight of Jack.

"Oh, hello Jack." She said once the split second worth of surprise had worn off.

"Hello Mrs. Nava." Jack said quietly.

My mom smiled warmly at him for a few more seconds before she turned back to me. "When you didn't come home last night, I assumed that you just decided to spend the night with Lauren last night." She stated, raising an eyebrow that was as good as asking for an explanation.

"I lost track of her at the party last night." I said. I paused momentarily, before I added. "I was drunk, and decided to spend the night with Jack." I knew that it was no use trying to hide it from her; she knew I drank from time to time, and it was better to tell her that myself than have her hear it from someone else's mom or dad.

My mom studied me for a few seconds before she asked, "did you two have sex?"

"Mom," I blushed, "no. I was drunk and Jack was sober; he would never even think about taking advantage of me like that." I said defensively.

"I wasn't implying that he would," my mom told me before she turned to Jack, "and I know that you would never treat any girl like that." She said to him.

Sighing quietly, my mom turned back to her cooking, stirred it well, and then placed a lid on it. I watched as she turned down the flames, before she turned her attention back to me.

"Alex is here." She said simply. "He seems upset about something; he brought flowers for you. I sent him to the living room to visit with Jamie while he waited for you to come home."

"You should have just sent him home." I mumbled.

"What is going on between you two?" My mom questioned. "What did you two fight about this time?"

Sighing quietly, I simply shook my head and then set off toward the living room. I heard my mom uttering a few incoherent words under her breath as I walked away, but the living room ahead of me was silent. Usually I would hear the sounds of shooting or fighting coming from the boys' video games, but today there was nothing.

When I came around the corner, I saw Alex sitting in the same place he had been when we arrived at the house, and my brother Jamie had taken up a place on the couch opposite of him. I examined my brother's posture, and found him to have his arms crossed in front of his chest, eyeing Alex with a mild look of dislike.

I opened my mouth to say something, but not knowing what to say, I made a move to close it. The sound of my mom's voice, though, saved me.

"You guys, I'm running to the store to pick up a few more things for lunch." She said, entering the living room just behind Jack and me. "Is there anything else you can think of that we need?"

Jamie let his eyes linger on Alex for a few more seconds before he looked up at our mom. "Can you get me some Gatorade?" He asked.

"Sure, sweetheart." She said as she grabbed her purse from the coffee table. "Vinnie? You need anything?"

"No mom." I whispered quietly.

"Alex? Jack? Do you boys want anything from the store?"

Both replied with a quiet 'no, thank you'. Looking around the room momentarily, my mom turned her gaze to me, giving me a questioning look. Sighing, I turned my eyes to Jamie.

"You should go with mom to the store," I mumbled, "you know she always gets you the kind you hate."

"But - "

"Go with mom." I insisted, cutting him off.

Growling lowly, he unfolded his arms and then stood up. Giving Alex one last look, he followed my mom out of the living room without another word. I waited for the front door to close before I took a chance and gazed across the room, looking at Alex.

"What are you doing here, Alex?" I asked quietly.

Alex looked at me with a sad expression before he motioned to the bouquet of pretty pink roses sitting beside him on the couch. "I brought you flowers." He said softly. "I wanted to talk to you," he paused momentarily, looking at Jack, "alone."

I frowned, not wanting Jack to leave me alone with Alex, but Jack nodded his head. "Alright," he said, "I have to get back home anyway before my ass gets into any more trouble." With that, Jack took my hand in his, squeezed it tightly, and then left the living room without another word.

Like I had done earlier, Alex waited for the sound of the front door closing before he spoke again. "Come sit with me." He said, his voice just above a whisper.

I hesitated slightly before I did as he asked. As I neared him, he picked up the roses, making room for me to sit down.

"A boy like you only brings flowers when he can't admit that he's sorry aloud." I mumbled.

"I thought that you would end up going home with Darrell Morell last night." Alex sighed as he set the bouquet on my lap, ignoring my comment.

"I think a part of me wanted to," I admitted, "but one, I don't do the hooking up thing unless the boy I'm hooking up with is already my boyfriend. And two," I paused, licking my lips, "all that was on my mind was you."

"Vinnie, I ... I'm sorry." He whispered slowly. "I know I told you that I can't be with you, and it's going to stay that way. But, I also know that I'm not helping much when I run around, stealing kisses from you when you least expect it."

"I'm not going to say that it's alright, because its not." I mumbled. "It's hard, Alex, to forget my feelings for you when I see you every day. It's even harder when you hold my hand, and kiss me, and remind me that you still have feelings for me."

"I'm sorry." He repeated. "I just ... it's hard for me too, to let you go."

"You know ... I don't have to be the one you let go of." I reminded him.

"Vinnie, we've been through this before, many times." He mumbled. "I'm not the kind of boy you want. I mean, look at me; I'd rather date someone else than step up and attempt to be the boyfriend that you need."

"You know I don't care, Alex." I sighed. I knew that Alex wasn't going to change his mind; once he had it set, there was nothing any one could do to make him see otherwise, but I still felt like I had to try.

"Vinnie you need to get over me." He whispered sadly. "There're plenty of other guys out there, who would treat you one hundred times better than I ever could.

"I know," I sighed, "there's already one waiting for me."

Alex turned his brown eyes to mine, watching me intently before he spoke up. "Jack." He said simply.

I nodded my head as a confirmation. "Jack." I repeated.

Alex let his eyes linger on me for a few more seconds before he lowered them down to my roses. "I called him out on it last night. If I hadn't put him on the spot, he would have never admitted it aloud to any one." He paused slightly, running his fingers through his hair, "I told him that he was good for you, the kind of boyfriend I want you to have."

"That wasn't fair of you to call him out like that when we're smack dab in the middle of this mess." I mumbled.

"Vinnie, you were a mess last night, and I feel like such a douche bag because I know that you're such a mess because of me." He said hesitantly. "I dragged Jack into this because ... I guess I wanted some sort of reassurance that there was actually someone else there to take care of you. It just ... makes me feel better, I guess."

Frowning to myself, I reached over and ran my fingertips over the delicate petals of my roses. "I guess you're right when you say that you'd be a horrible boyfriend for me." I said, not moving my eyes from my roses. "You're not my boyfriend but still you're able to tear me up inside and feel like shit. You're not even gonna risk it, and attempt a relationship with me because you're afraid to break my heart," I whispered, "but what the hell do you think you're doing to me now, Alex? You're breaking my heart, that's what you're doing."

"Either way, I'll break your heart." He mumbled. "I just think this way ... it's easier for you to hear the truth aloud from me, rather than finding out my flaws while we're in the middle of a relationship."

"Alex, you're a stupid boy." I growled, feeling the tears of anger and sadness falling from my eyes.

Seeing the tears, Alex reached over and gently wiped them away. "There's a lot of us out there." He admitted as he removed the bouquet from my lap, and set it aside on the coffee table.

Feeling him wrap his arms around me, I did my best to push his arms away. "Don't touch me," I snapped.

"Vinnie, I have fifteen more minutes before I have to go home." He said, placing his hands on my arms, holding them down with ease. "Please ... let me spend that time with you just sitting here, not fighting."

"You just want to sit here?" I mumbled.

"I want to hold you in my arms." He admitted. "Just fifteen minutes, Vinnie, and I'm done. I promise you I won't ever mess with your feelings again. Ever."

"Alex," I started, and then stopped when he wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me close to him.

Not knowing what to do, or what to say, I closed my eyes and keep any more tears falling, and wrapped my arms around Alex, hugging him tightly. It's hard you know, telling someone goodbye despite the fact that you see them every day, talk to them every day. It's hard letting go of someone you care about, especially when you don't agree with the reason as to why you have to let them go. I don't know if I could ever fully let go of Alex Gaskarth. I think a part of me will always love him, no matter what he does.