This Is What Happens When Love Meets Destruction

"That's it?" Alex asked. "It looks like a wet ball of shi - "

"Gaskarth, finish that sentence and I'll send you back to the office where you're supposed to be in the first place." Ms. Watson, my ceramics teacher, called from across the classroom, causing Alex to instantly shut his mouth, though his laughing smirk was still adorning his face.

"Alex, I didn't even start it yet." I grinned as I dipped my hands into my bucket of water, getting them wet before I placed them on my ball of clay, and turned the ceramics wheel back on.

"Well, what was all that fancy work just now?" He asked, motioning to my wheel.

"I was just centering my clay, douche bag." I mumbled.

"Hey, no need for name calling." Alex said, sticking his hands up in defense. "I was just asking."

"Don't you have something you should be doing right about now?" I asked impatiently.

Alex didn't reply immediately, causing me to turn my eyes from my piece and look up at him.

"Well," he said, frowning slightly as he thought about it, "actually, no, I don't have anything to do. I'm a T.A. for the office this period. They don't have shit for me to do, which is why I'm in here, bugging you, babe." He said, finishing his sentence with a little wink.

"How the hell can you be a T.A. for the office?" I asked quizzically. "I mean, the irony of it; doesn't T.A. actually stand for 'teacher's assistant'? Not, office assistant." I said sarcastically.

"I don't know how it works either." Alex laughed. "All I know is that I had this period free, and I wanted a class where I didn't have to do crap, so, the counselor suggested that I'd be a T.A."

"You're such a lazy ass, Alex." I grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." He said, sitting back on the empty ceramics wheel next to mine. "So ... what are you making?"

"I don't know." I replied. "Maybe a bowl to put all my change in."

"Ah, I see."

With that, either of us fell silent, me shaping my clay into something that would earn me an A for the day, Alex watching me as I worked on my piece. In about five minutes time, I had a finished piece sitting in the center of my wheel. Alex watched on as I expertly slid the piece onto a wooden bat so it could dry.

"That's pretty cool." Alex said, nodding to my piece. "You should make me something."

"I don't have to make you crap." I smirked, setting the piece on a nearby table, and then wiping my hands on my smock.

"Aww, don't be like that, sweetheart." Alex said, pouting his lip slightly. "You know you love me to death."

"True, but that doesn't mean I have you make you anything." I teased, motioning for him to follow me out the backdoor.

"Come on, please?" He begged.

"What on earth are you going to be doing with it?" I asked as I dusted a place off, and then sat down on the top of the stairs.

"I don't know." He said, taking a seat beside me. "Do I have to use it for something. Can't it just serve as a decorative piece in my room?"

"Alex, you're forgetting that I've seen your room, and if I made you something as a decorative piece, it'll most likely get lost amongst the rest of the clutter in your room." I grinned.

"You know what? You're mean." He huffed. "I thought we were homies, but no, you won't even take ten minutes out of your time to make me something in ceramics."

"Oh my gosh, you're such a goof, Alex." I laughed, knowing perfectly well that he was joking. "I'll make you something if you want me to." I said, nudging him with my elbow. "Just don't start crying around about it."

"You know, you almost had me tearing up." He pouted. "What would you have done then?"

"Then, I would have run off and told your boy Barakat that I made you cry like a little bitch."

Alex's big, brown eyes got wide and his mouth dropped slightly. "You wouldn't." He whispered.

I laughed and shook my head. "Honestly, I'd probably start crying as soon as I saw a single tear fall down because I'd feel like the biggest jerk." I admitted.

Alex laughed quietly and nodded his head, agreeing with me. He turned his head, locking his brown eyes with mine, giving me a look that I couldn't quite read. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it, seeming to think better of it. I raised an eyebrow, giving him a questioning look and he shook his head, turning his gaze to the quad in front of us.

With that, we sat in silence for about a minute, before Alex finally decided to speak.

"So, Vinnie," he said, squinting his eyes slightly, given that we were sitting directly in the bright sunshine, "any boys catchin' your eye? Anybody you've been crushing on?"

"Well," I paused for a second, knowing perfectly well that there was one boy in mind, "no, not really."

"Come on, Vinnie, there has to be one guy that you caught yourself checking out today." He pressed.

"I checked plenty of boys out today, Alex." I said simply. "But, just because I was checking them out doesn't mean that I'm crushing on them."

"Well, how about Jesse Evans?" He pressed. "I've heard plenty of the girlies talking about how much his looks and personality have changed over the summer."

"I think you're forgetting that Jesse is my ex-boyfriend." I sighed.

"Yeah, I know, but, maybe you two can 'rekindle' the old flame?" He suggested.

"Alex, the douche bag cheated on me." I frowned. "Of course I'm not going to get back with the jerk."

"Oh ... yeah." He mumbled. "Well, how about Donnie Kutler?"

"Donnie's cute, and he's a cool guy, but his ego tends to get out of hand."

"Well, shit." Alex sighed. "How about Jack?"

"Your boyfriend Jack?" I asked. "Jack Barakat?"

Alex nodded his head, showing to me that he was dead serious, which caused me to erupt into a fit of laughter. "I love Jack to death, but, I just couldn't think of him like that."

"Well, why not?"

"Jack is more like ... the best friend type."

"Sometimes best friends can turn into something more." Alex said softly.

At his words, I bit my lip, trying to keep my composure while my heart leapt into my throat. Many times I contemplated telling Alex how I really felt about him, but in the end I always reached the same conclusion: hell no. There were many reasons why I didn't tell him.

For one, I was afraid that he wouldn't feel the same way about me. For another ... he was like my best friend. And, we've all heard that when it came to dating your best friend, things usually ended bitter.

I didn't want to take the risk with telling Alex my feelings, and in the end, have it ruin our friendship. Alex was too much of an important person in my life for me to lose.

"Yeah," I said quietly, "sometimes."

Suddenly, the bell overhead rang, signaling the end of the official first day of school. Alex sighed softly and turned back toward me, giving me a sly smile.

"Got any plans for right now?" He asked. "You want to come over and hang out with me and Jack while we mess around with our guitars? We'll even play you a song that we've been working on." He said, nudging my side slightly with his elbow as if to get me to agree.

I laughed softly and shook my head. "I would take you up on that offer, but I have to clean up my stuff inside still, and then I have to head to volleyball practice."

"Oh yeah," he mumbled, "I forgot that you're playing. When is your first game?"

"In two weeks," I replied, "are you gonna come watch me?"

"Is it a home game?"

I nodded my head.

"Well then, hell yes I'll be there." He said, a sly smile pulling across his lips. "You think I'll pass up the opportunity to see you running around in those spandex of yours?"

"Alex." I laughed, slapping his arm playfully. "You're a pervert."

"Yeah," he grinned as he stood up, and then held a hand out to help me up as well, "I know, but that's why you like me."

I rolled my eyes as he helped me to my feet, and laughed quietly. "Sure, whatever you say." I mumbled.

Alex squeezed my hand tightly, giving me a little smirk before he released it. "I'll see you tomorrow, Vinnie." He said before he turned around, leaving me standing on the stairs.

"Later." I called after him.

I watched as he made his way across the quad, heading straight for the office, probably to get his backpack. I bit my lip, wondering if there would ever come a day where I would gather enough courage to straight up tell Alex how I felt about him. I shook my head as if to shake away the thoughts and turned around, slowly walking back into the classroom to clean up my mess at the wheel.

Within five minutes, after I had everything put away and I had rid my hands and arms of the messy clay, I was making my way toward the gymnasium. Just as I was hitching my bag up higher onto my shoulder, I heard a familiar voice calling from behind me, asking me to wait.

I slow my steps slightly and glanced over my shoulder to see my cousin, Amy, hurrying down the sideway after me.

"Hey Amy," I greeted her, "where are you off to?"

"The locker room." She replied. "I'm trying out for the soccer team this year."

"Oh, that's cool." I smiled. "Personally I'd rather be in the gym, slamming volleyballs down into chicks faces." I smirked.

"You're so mean, Vinnie." She laughed, linking her arm with mine. "But, I think I know a way to get you to be not so mean."

"What are you talking about, Amy?" I grinned. "I'm not mean."

"I know, I know." She giggled. "But seriously, do you know Darrel Morrel?"

"The dude who just transferred here?" I asked. "The one who's supposed to be the all American quarterback or something rather?"

Amy nodded her head.

"Yeah, he's in a couple of my classes." I replied. "Why?"

"Well," she said, giving me a sly smile, "he's in my photography class, and we started chatting, and it seems as if he's starting to develop a crush on you." She grinned. "He kept asking questions about you, it was cute."

"Come on, Amy. Darrel's a jock ... you know how most of the jocks at this school have a problem with their ego getting too large for them to handle."

Amy shook her head. "No, Darrel's different." She insisted. "He seems quiet, and extremely shy. After each question he asked about you, he'd blush a little bit as if he realized just how much he was crushing on you. You should give him a chance, Vinnie. He's definitely different from all the other guys we know in this school."

"Amy, I don't even know Darrel, nor does he know me. How could he possibly be crushing on me?" I mumbled.

"I don't know, Vinnie, but you have to admit, there's something about you that makes you irresistible for the guys."

I rolled my eyes, seeing as how that was the second time today someone had referred to me and my 'irresistible' self. If I was so damn irresistible, why is it that I still didn't have the one guy that I wanted?

"Anyway, just something you should think about." Amy sighed. "But, I have something to ask you."

"Shoot." I said, my mind still slightly preoccupied by me and my lack of self confidence.

"Do you think you can talk to Alex for me?"

Almost instantly I snapped my eyes in her direction. If I knew my cousin, I somehow already knew exactly what it was she was getting at, and what her motives were.

"For what?" I asked, though I wasn't really sure if I wanted to hear her answer.

"You know, just sort of ... ask him what he thinks about me, maybe sort of hint around that I'm single."

I turned my eyes from her and gazed in the opposite direction, rolling my eyes slightly.

"Why, do you have a crush on him or something?" I muttered.

"Well, he's in my Algebra II class, and I have to admit, he was looking pretty good." Amy replied.

"So, you want to be with him just because you think he was looking pretty good?" I asked in monotone.

"Vinnie," she snapped, "what's your problem? He's your best friend, it shouldn't be that damn hard for you to play matchmaker for us."

"Amy," I sighed as I stopped walking and turned back to look at her, "it's just that," I paused for a second, "I sort of ... " I trailed off, biting my lip.

"You sort of what?" She asked snootily, releasing my arm, and folding hers in front of her chest.

"I sort of like him." I whispered.

"So?" She asked. "Are you gonna go for him?"

Even though she was my first cousin, I had known that I wasn't going to get any 'sympathy' from Amy. Once in a blue moon we got along, but any other time we were butting heads. She could be sweet one minute, but then she could completely turn around and be one of the cruelest people you'd ever come across. She was the girl that wouldn't be happy unless she got her way, she was the girl that put her priorities above everyone else's, and she was the one girl in our entire class that could make me feel as shitty as she did. She could put on a good show, but in all honesty, she didn't care about anyone else but herself.

But that didn't keep people from liking her. The boys in the school lusted for her attention, and not to mention they lusted for something much more than that. The girls in the school wished that they could be just like her, even when they saw how crappy she treated everybody.

I personally didn't understand it myself, but then again, in high school, nothing seems to make sense.

"What does it matter if I'm gonna go after him or not." I snapped. "You're just going to go after him anyway, even if you know how I feel about him."

"Well then, maybe you should quit being a sissy, and go after what you want." She retorted. "Honestly, Vinnie, you've always been too scared to step it up and get what you want. And here you wonder why all your ex-boyfriends have treated you and used you the way that they did." She said meanly.

With that, she turned on her heal and stormed off in the opposite direction, leaving me to wallow in all the heartache. If I knew anything about Alex, I knew that he would go for Amy the first chance he got. He knew from my stories as to how mean and wicked Amy could be, but ultimately in the end, he was one of those boys who longed to call her his girlfriend.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to suppress the sudden urge to cry. What hurt the most about the whole thing wasn't the fact that Amy was still going to chase after the boy that I liked. No, no. What hurt me the most was that fact that she was right.

I had always been too scared to admit my true feelings to anyone, and I wasn't the type of person who could stand up and go after the guy that they wanted. And because I was too scared to step it up, I would have to watch as my cousin charmed her way into Alex's heart.