This Is What Happens When Love Meets Destruction

"Alex!" My best friend wailed, "I've been dating my fiancé for four years, and I still have no idea what to get her for her birthday."

I peered up over the top of my magazine at him, and frowned softly, not really know what to get for Vinnie either. "She's hard to shop for." I stated. "Guaranteed, she's bound to like just about anything she gets, it's just the fact that finding something that you think would suit her is kinda tricky."

"I know," Jack sighed, "isn't that weird? I mean, I know that she'll love anything I get her, but everything I look at when I go out to shop for her, it seems lame, and I convince myself she won't like it."

"Well ... she really likes Van Gogh. Maybe you can get her a really nice print or something to hang up in that blank spot near the dining room that she's been nagging you about." I said.

"I already got her one," he admitted, "I brought it to Michael's and they're framing it for me as we speak, but that was going to be a present for something else."

"Oh," I muttered. Tearing my eye's from Jack's, I gazed around the living room of their three bedroom home that they had bought just before we had left for our most recent US tour, and tried to find something that would inspire me. As my eyes scanned the far side of the wall, I caught sight of a picture of Vinnie and the dog, Diesel, I had got her for Christmas one year. "You know, she was pretty bummed out when you guys had to put Diesel down," I said slowly, "maybe you can get her another dog so that she won't be so lonely while we're gone on tour."

"A dog?" Jack asked slowly. "But ... she has all her damn fish." He muttered, waving his hand to the large 50 gallon aquarium Vinnie had set up just after they moved in.

"Jack," I smiled, "you can't walk a fish, or cuddle with it in bed. Get her a dog, or even a kitten. You know she loves animals."

"Ugh, fine." Jack sighed. "Come on, get your jacket, we're going to the animal shelter."

Laughing softly, I did as I was told and got up to grab my jacket from the other end of the couch. Pulling it on, I watched as Jack stalked around the room, gathering everything he needed, all the while muttering a few incoherent words under his breath. I wasn't able to catch much, but from what I did hear, I knew that he was still fussing over Vinnie's birthday presents.

"Jack, you seriously spoil that girl way too much." I grinned. "You don't have to pamper her with affection every little while."

"I know," he blushed, "I just ... I love her so much it hurts sometimes," he whispered, "and I just have this urge to do all these things for her regardless of whether she wants me to or not ... fuck, I'm just a love sick sap, Alex." He groaned. "It's horrible."

I shook my head, not because I disagreed with him, but because I knew exactly how he felt. "It's not horrible." I said. "You love Vinnie, and she loves you back; it not something that a lot of people truly have, Jack." I pointed out.

Jack paused momentarily, flicking his eyes in my direction for a split second, before turning his attention to the cell phone clutched in his hand. I think a part of Jack knew about the feelings I still had for his fiancé, and I think another part of him, the more dominant part, denied it.

"Alright," he said finally, "let's go and find Vinnie a pet before she gets home from work."

With that, we exited the house and were on our way to a local animal shelter within a matter of minutes. When we arrived at the shelter, we quickly made our way inside, not wanting to linger in the rain any longer than we had to. As soon as I stepped foot inside the building, the familiar smell hit my nose and I instantly recalled the very moment I had arrived at this same exact shelter a few years ago.

I had looked the shelter up on the internet and found Diesel. One look at him and I knew that he was perfect for Vinnie, so I called ahead to make an appointment to see him that very same day.

This time, though, no one had done any research, and there had been no appointment made to see any particular animal. Glancing around, I saw the sign that pointed in the direction of the kennels, so I motioned to Jack and then led the way down the brightly lit hallway.

"I don't know what kind of dog she'd want." Jack muttered as he eyed the various dogs that looked up anxiously at us from their kennels. "I know she loves all kinds of dogs, but there's just so many here to choose from."

"Maybe we should look at smaller breeds." I suggested. "Something that maybe she could take into the salon with her to hang out while she works."

"How about a little Shih Tzu? They're cute." Jack asked, pointing to a kennel that held four little Shih Tzu puppies. "You think she'd like one of those?"

"They are cute." I admitted. "And if we think they're cute, imagine what Vinnie would think about them." I grinned.

"That girl will absolutely flip her lid." Jack laughed before reaching his hand into the kennel, letting the little puppies sniff him. Once they got used to his scent, they attacked his hand with their fierce little tongues, and yipped happily at him.

"Come on," I told him, "let's go and see what kind of cats they have."

Silently, Jack nodded his head and then withdrew his hand from the kennel before went into the room next door that housed the cats.

"Check out that kitten," Jack said, pointing to a small ginger colored kitten with black stripes, with wiry looking fur, "it looks like Macavity from Cats." He laughed.

"Fuck, it does." I grinned. "That's awesome."

"And that one looks like Mr. Mistoffelees." He added pointing to a different cat that was all black with a white chest and face. "I almost want to get her those two cats, just because they look like them. But then again, I think that Vinnie would love one of those little puppies to death."

"It's either one or the other, Jack." I warned him. "You can't adopt the whole damn animal shelter."

"I can't decide," Jack grumbled, "which one do you think?"

"I don't know man, I think it's between one of those puppies, and the Mr. Mistoffelees cat ... I think I vaguely remember her saying that she was scared of Macavity at one point or another."

Jack responded by giving me a weird look, and then shrugged his shoulders. "You remember the most random things." He said bluntly.

"It's Vinnie," I pointed out, "about 50% of her is randomness."

"Yeah," he agreed, "she really is." He said quietly.

Seeing the distant look in his eyes told me that his mind was no longer with me, but on his fiancé instead. A faint smile began to pull at his lips, and his eyes turned brighter before laughing softly to himself. I recognized it as a look I had seen on his face a couple of times before; the first time had been when he had first told me he was full blown in love with Vinnie.

I knew that he couldn't wait to marry her, and I knew that he couldn't wait until they started a family together. Jack had never willingly admitted it aloud to me, or any of the guys, but I was able to tell by the way he'd react to little kids that were out with their families. I saw the envious look in his eyes, and if Vinnie happened to be with us, he'd look up at her, watching her with a loving stare.

I wonder if Jack had a feeling that he just may be getting his wish sooner, rather than later like everybody else had thought. Did he notice Vinnie acting different about anything? Did he see any change in her behavior?

Maybe since he had thought that it would still be a while before Vinnie even considered having kids, he wasn't looking out for any changes, and any changes he did happen to see, he was oblivious to.

"Jack, what would you do if Vinnie were pregnant?" I blurted out without even thinking.

Jack, who was still off in his own memories, slowly slid back into reality and he turned his confused eyes in my direction. "What would I do?" He repeated, and I nodded my head. "I don't know ... I'd probably be scared to go and face her dad, after that incident back in high school, but I'd honestly be more stoked than anything." He admitted in a whisper. "Why do you ask? Is," he paused slightly, licking his lips as if they had suddenly grown chapped, "is she pregnant?"

"Oh, no," I replied, not really knowing if I was lying or telling the truth, seeing as how Vinnie's appointment wasn't until the end of the week, "it's just that I can tell you're anxious to start a family with her."

"You think that I'm crazy to want kids already," he mumbled.

"Well, yeah, sort of." I admitted. "But being with Vinnie, it's probably hard not to be anxious to start a family." I said, without really thinking.

Jack remained quiet, his brown stare examining me with such intensity that I started to grow nervous, shifting slightly so that I could cast my eyes down upon the kittens in what could pass as a casual manner.

"You still love her," Jack said bluntly, neither angry nor upset sounding. "After all this time, you're still in love with Vinnie."

"Jack, I ... " I trailed off, simply not knowing what to say. After a few moments of silence, I finally nodded my head. "I do." I admitted. "I still love her, and I know it's wrong because she's with you and you two are going to get married but ... I can't help it."

"Alex," my friends voice was quiet and strained, giving away the fact that he wasn't sure how to respond to this either. Taking a chance, I looked up and caught his stare, and was surprised to see a mixture of hesitation and sadness etched deep within his usual joyful gaze. "We've been over this before, many times," he mumbled. "If you're not over her, Alex, I can't - "

"Don't say it, Jack," I threatened, "don't you dare say that you can't be with her. Vinnie loves you with all her heart, and you love her. Don't throw it all away simply because I can't get over her. I broke her heart back in high school, Jack, and you pieced it back together for her. Don't throw away everything you two have built together simply because I'm an emo pussy, okay?"

"But, Alex," Jack sighed.

"No "but's" about this, Jack." I said firmly. "It's true, I love Vinnie, but I would never go after her, or try anything with her because I know that she's in love with you. And plus, what would you accomplish if you break up with her?" I questioned. "Absolutely nothing. The only thing that will happen is that Vinnie would get her heart broken, and then you and I will have to be on the run because her dad will be looking to kick our asses once he found out what was really going on."

For the longest time, Jack simply stared at me, not bothering to say anything, and barely bothering to blink. All he did was stare at me, while the wheels turned in his head, thinking to himself. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he lowered his eyes, turning his attention back to the kittens.

"So," he said, "Macavity or Mistoffelees?"

Sighing quietly, I let my eyes study him a few moments longer, and then replied, "Mistoffelees."

Reaching up, I rubbed the back of my neck and couldn't help but wonder if Jack really would have had the heart to break up with Vinnie, simply because I still had feelings for her.