This Is What Happens When Love Meets Destruction

Hearing the drunken giggles of my bridesmaids, I couldn't help but laugh softly as well as I recalled the prior events of the night, while we roamed through the quiet, Baltimore streets. A buzzed, yet very cautious Lauren was at the wheel, carefully navigating us back to our homes. I didn't worry about us getting into a wreck; we've been practicing driving under the influence of alcohol ever since we were sixteen.

"Okay, Victoria," Lauren said, slowing to a stop in front of my parents' house, "here you are."

Unable to keep the intoxicated smile off of my face, I climbed up and over Dee and Nichole's laps, despite the fact that I would have been perfectly able to exit out of the passenger's side door I had been sitting by, and then opened the door. Due to my body weight that had been resting against it when I opened it, the door flew open faster than I was expecting it to, and I was dumped to the ground.

"Oh shit," I heard Nichole giggle, "are you okay, Vinnie?"

Slowly, I pushed myself up off of the ground and stood up, using the door as my support. Dusting myself off, I turned around and peaked into the backseat.

"I think so." I said simply.

"Be careful now," Dee grinned, "you don't want to be in a cast for your wedding." She teased. "And plus, Jack would kill us if we let something happen to you two days before the ceremony."

"I'll be careful," I assured them, "goodnight guys."

"Wait, Vinnie, don't forget your hat." Lacey insisted. With that, she reached out through her open window and placed the top hat I had received from one of the many male dancers we had seen tonight, on top of my head.

A laugh induced by alcohol escaped my lips, and I placed my hand on top of it, pushing in further down on my head to secure it in place. "I'll see you beautiful ladies tomorrow." I told them, and then turned around, making my way toward the front door.

I heard giggles behind me, which soon disappeared as Lauren sped off into the night. As I approached the porch, I gazed up at my parents house, recalling the numerous nights I had endured, slowly sneaking across the front lawn in hopes that I wouldn't get caught sneaking inside drunk. Tonight I felt as if I were in high school again, trying my hardest to get inside before I woke anybody up. This time, though, instead of coming in late from an after party at a friend's house, I was arriving in from my bachelorette party.

At the front door, I tried the handle only to find it locked. Frowning to myself, I glared at the handle as if it were its fault that it was locked, and then squatted down on the ground, fumbling around behind the larger planter in search of the spare key. My fingers ran over the top of a dirty piece of metal, and I snatched it up, holding it up in the light to make sure that it was what I had been looking for. When I saw that it was in fact the key, I reached up and tried my best to make work of the lock.

This simple task was proving very difficult at the moment, and after five minutes of struggling with the locks, the door swung inwards and I looked up from my still squatting position to catch Jamie giving me a strange, tired look.

"Vinnie? What the hell are you doing out here?" He questioned, extending a hand to help me to my feet. "And please explain what the hell is with this fucking top hat." Taking a few seconds to study the intoxicated smile on my face, he shook his head. "On second thought, don't explain."

Gripping his hand, I climbed uneasily to my feet and then leaned against him as I sighed heavily. "I couldn't get the fucking door unlocked." I mumbled.

"Well, obviously," he sighed, "but what are you doing here? At mom and dad's?"

"Jack and I made a deal not to see each other before the wedding." I told him.

"Vinnie, that's usually like ... the day or night before the wedding. The wedding is the day after tomorrow."

"Before we went to our bachelor parties tonight, we said we wouldn't see one another until I see him when I walk down the aisle on our wedding day." I informed my brother.

"Oh? So where's Jack spending the night at?" Jamie asked as he closed and locked the door behind us.

"He's going back to the house."

Jamie raised an eyebrow. "Are the boys with him?"

I shook my head as I pulled away from my brother and started toward the stairs. "The boys are with Jack's mama." I said. "So if you're done interrogating me, I'm going to turn in for the night."

As I made my way up the stairs, I heard my brother mutter 'bitch' just loud enough for me to hear before he went back into the den that was serving as his office for the week he was in town for the wedding. Once I managed to get to the top of the stairs, I went straight to my old room and laid down on top of the covers, taking only the time to kick off my shoes before I fell into a deep sleep.

When I awoke, it was to the sound of something hitting my window. Growling lowly, I opened my eyes and saw that it was still dark out. I no longer felt sluggish, as many do when they've had more than their fair share of alcohol, but my lips were chapped, and my throat was dry.

Hearing another sharp tap on my window, I sighed heavily and stood up, making my way toward it. I slid it open and peered outside, and was surprised to see Alex standing underneath my window, his hand holding to another rock he was preparing to throw at my window.

"Gaskarth," I smiled, "what are you doing here?"

"I was just stopping by to tell you that Jack behaved himself tonight," Alex replied with a smile of his own.

"And how about yourself, Alex?" I questioned with a teasing smirk. "Did you behave yourself?"

"Of course." He laughed. "I like your hat by the way."

Reaching up with my free hand, I touched the edge of my top hat that had somehow managed to say on my head while I slept. "You're totally jealous, aren't you Gaskarth?"

Alex smiled softly, and then nodded his head. "More than you'll ever know," he said, his voice so quiet that it barely made its way up to me.

I opened my mouth to say something in response, but I stopped short when another memory suddenly took over my mind.

"Alex, I'm scared." I gasped.

"I know, I know, so am I." He whispered, "so am I."

Staring at me a second longer, he let a single tear fall before he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, kissing me lovingly, yet gently. Forgetting the situation we were in, forgetting all the pain I was feeling, I was brought back to the time back in high school where Alex had finally gotten the courage to kiss me outside of the restaurant. I remembered how much I loved him then, and I remember how happy the boy had made me just by simply being there.

I mustered some energy and kissed him back for a little while longer, before the shortness of breath made me pull away. I gasped in air, but none of it seemed to reach my lungs. Unable to keep my eyes open any longer, I let them close.

"Vinnie, no, don't go!" Alex screamed frantically. "Sweetheart, stay with me. Please don't go. I love you. I've always loved you, Vinnie. Please don't leave me. I love you." He cried.

I love you too, Alex. I wanted to say the words to him, but I couldn't. I simply didn't have anything left in me to say tell him those few words.

As the memory faded away, I felt my heart leap into my throat, preventing the gasp I was about to utter. It beat furiously, pounding and pounding until I thought it would beat a hole through my neck. I opened and closed my mouth, but all forms of thought were jumbled, and all sorts of emotions were fighting for dominance.

I stared down at the boy standing underneath my window and realized that I had been lying to myself for the past three years. In that brief moment when Alex and I had both thought I wasn't going to make it, we had made our confessions, though Alex's was the only one that had been verbal. I didn't get the chance to tell him how I felt; I didn't get the chance to tell him that I loved him too.

To think of how Alex must have felt after that day, after he had spilled his heart out to me and for me to just simply forget about it all.

"Alex," I said quietly, for my nerves and anxiety was still preventing my vocal cords from working at their full potential, "it's late. You should go home and get some rest."

"Alright," he agreed, "I probably won't see you tomorrow, so I'll see you on the big day." He smiled. My heart dropped at the thought of how much it must hurt to force all his supportive smiles over these past years.

I smiled back, though it seemed to tear at my heart. "Goodnight Alex."

"Night Vinnie," he replied with a small wave, and then turned around, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as he headed for his car.

With tears welling up in my eyes, I clung to the window sill, my nails digging into the wooden trimming, and called after him. "Alex?"

He stopped his footsteps and glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah Vinnie?"

I licked my chapped lips, and commanded myself not to cry as I uttered my own confession. "You've always been my best friend, Alex." I told him. "I love you."

"I love you too, Vinnie," he said with a warm, comforting smile that I could always count on him to give me, "I'll see you later."

With that, he turned around and continued his way to this car. I stood there in the window, watching him with a heavy heart.

I have never had an epiphany before tonight, and the truth is that it feels as if this epiphany could lead me straight to the sight of my own epitaph engraved on a marble headstone. And exactly what would my epiphany say? 'Here lies Victoria Nava, engaged to the best friend of the man she truly loved but didn't realize it until a couple of nights before her wedding'?

Running a hand tiredly across my face, I stepped away from the window and closed it before walking slowly back to my bed and taking a seat. The tears I had been holding back finally started to fall.

Of all the things I've been through with Alex, you'd think that it'd only get easier for me to deal with all the curveballs he's thrown at me. Like I said, in high school he had told me that he liked me, but instead of settling down right then and there, his confession led our friendship to a seat upon a rollercoaster, and strapped us down tightly, holding us in for a wild ride that still hasn't seemed to stop yet. Every time I think we're approaching the finish line I find that we're hanging upside down on yet another loop in the track, and from where we are now, I don't see any end in sight. Sometimes I fear that the boy would be the death of me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hearing the familiar tune that was associated with the bride walking down the aisle, Jack took a deep, nervous breath and let it out slowly. Reaching up, I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, squeezing it tightly before I released it and shifted my eyes to the arbor where two figures were standing, one dressed in a traditional black tuxedo while the other was dressed in a white strapless wedding gown.

Upon seeing her, I felt my heart start to beat faster and faster in my chest, while at the same time all the air in my lungs seemed to have been stolen away. A nervous smile crossed her lips as she and her father started down the aisle, each step bringing them closer and closer to where Jack and I stood.

I couldn't even begin to describe how desperately I wanted to be standing in Jack's place, and him to be standing in mine. After all these years, after all the chances I had to do something about the love I've felt for her, within a few minutes it would all be too late.

At the edge of the steps, Vinnie's dad carefully pulled her veil back and kissed her on the cheek, whispering one last 'I love you' before he offered Vinnie's hand over to Jack's, who in turn took it, holding it tightly as he helped her up the steps. Glancing over Jack's shoulders, Vinnie caught me staring at her and I quickly looked away, fearing that if she looked at me close enough she would see the truth that I was slowly dying inside.

Before long, the ceremony soon got underway, and everything for me seemed to pass by in a blur. As the best man, I knew it was my job to be there and support Jack, but at this moment, my heart simply couldn't deal with it all. My mind was elsewhere, to a time where I was free to kiss Vinnie, free to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I liked her.

I wasn't aware how far the ceremony had progressed until I heard the minister start to ask Vinnie the question that comes up in every wedding ceremony.

"Do you, Victoria Nava, take thee Jack Barakat, to be your lawful wedded husband, to love and to cherish from this day forward, for as long as you both shall live, until death do you part?" He asked.

I had expected Vinnie to say 'I do' before the minister had even finished his question, but to everyone's surprise, Vinnie hesitated. Staring at her with wide eyes, I examined her frightened, troubled expression as she contemplated what her answer would be. The guests were silent, without a single murmur as to what they believed what was going through Vinnie's mind at the moment.

"Vinnie?" Jack whispered. "Sweetheart?"

Vinnie's hazel eyes darted up at Jack, a confused look on her face. "Jack, I ... " she trailed off, her eyes lowering to the ground.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Jack whispered.

As I watched, a single tear formed in Vinnie's eye, and with the blink of an eye it was quickly dismissed.

"Jack, I'm so sorry," Vinnie whispered. "I - I can't do this." Her gaze darted back up and met my own momentarily, as if she were trying to convey a message to me. Whatever she was trying to tell me, though, I didn't understand.

"But - "

Dropping her bouquet to the ground, Vinnie gathered up her skirts and hurried down the aisle, leaving a stunned audience in her wake. My own mouth dropped open in shock, but my own expression was nothing compared to the look on Jack's face. He simply stood there, staring at the spot that Vinnie had disappeared as if she would come back at any moment. After about a half a minute, when he realized she was really gone, the renegade tears started to fall from his eyes.

"Jack," I said quietly, and then stopped, not knowing what to say.

"She just ... left." He muttered, his voice still in shock, though the tears were flowing freely. "But ... what ... why ... " he trailed off, shaking his head slowly.

"Jack," I said gently, tugging on his arm to lead him from the focal point on top of the makeshift stage, "come on, let's get out of here."

Numbly, Jack allowed me to lead him away from the guests, and together we slipped into a side door that led back to the room we had gotten ready in.

"Oh God, Alex," Jack muttered, his voice finally breaking as he sank down into a chair, "Vinnie really just ... left me standing at the alter. What could I have possibly done to ... " he trailed off once more as he buried his face in his hands.

"Jack, I ... I don't know." I whispered.

And I honestly didn't know why Vinnie would have walked away from Jack on their wedding day. It wouldn't have been because of her nerves; if that were the case she would have straight up asked for more time before she got over herself and said 'I do.' No, there was something else going on, something else that was going through her mind.

Looking at my best friend, I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach as I watched him break down in front of me. As much as it hurt to see him like this, a part of me still got a sense of satisfaction, knowing that Vinnie wasn't completely 'off the market' just yet.

As if it made any difference; after all these years, what could I do to suddenly make Vinnie fall in love with me again?