This Is What Happens When Love Meets Destruction

Downstairs, I heard the front door open and then close. I ceased what I was doing, and then listened carefully to see if I could determine who it was. Silence followed, which was broken moments later by Jack's voice quietly calling out to me.

"Vinnie?"

"In the nursery, Jack." I replied, my voice loud enough to carry downstairs.

There was a brief moment where silence fell back upon the house, before the sound of Jack's footsteps broke through, echoing in the halls as he made his way up the stairs. I was able to follow his whereabouts, listening to his footsteps, and I could tell that he paused momentarily in front of the newest picture we had hung up a couple of weeks ago; the very first portrait of the twins we had gotten done. Standing there for a couple of seconds, he took a deep breath, letting it out in a soft sigh before he continued on.

His footsteps slowed as he approached the nursery, and when he entered, his movements seemed to cease altogether. After two days of not seeing him, a weight was lifted off of my chest when I saw for myself that he was still in one piece. His brown eyes examined me from across the room, as if he were making sure that I was still in one piece as well. After he got done looking me over, he changed his direction and instead went to see the twins, who were both sleeping soundly in their crib.

With sad eyes, I watched as Jack leaned over, and kissed either one of them gently while whispering sweet words to them. When he was finished, he straightened himself up before turning his attention back to me. In two steps, he was kneeled in front of where I was sitting, an unreadable look on his face.

"Jack," I whispered, "I was worried about you."

Shaking his head slowly, he carefully took my hands in his, and squeezed them tightly. "I told you I was fine, sweetheart," he said quietly.

"I didn't think you'd be gone for so long," I muttered.

"I needed some time to think to myself." He replied. "Think about where to go from here."

At this, I fell silent, consumed by the guilt I felt. Unsure what to say himself, I watched Jack as his bit his lip slightly, planning out his next words.

"Have you talked to Alex?" He asked slowly.

I shook my head. "Alex left just after you did. I think he was trying to catch you; he said he had to talk to you first. I haven't seen him since."

"Oh," Jack mumbled. "I, uh ... didn't see him. He must have just missed me then."

Once again, I found myself at a loss for words, so I merely continued to sit there, my hands held tightly by Jack's as the awkward silence started to settle around us. Finally, after a couple of minutes of silence, Jack sighed softly and his eyes filled with - if possible - even more sadness.

"You're going to leave me, for Alex, aren't you?" He asked, his voice barely audible.

"Jack, I ... I don't even know if Alex wants a relationship out of me, or what." I said quietly. "All I know for sure is that I still love the boy. Reasons as to why is beyond me, but ... for whatever reason, I'm still in love with him."

"Victoria Isabella," he whispered, "is there anything I can say or do, to make you stay with me?"

"It wouldn't be fair to you, Jack." I told him. "You deserve someone better than me. You shouldn't have to devote all your love and time to someone who's in love with a different boy. That's so fucked up, and I'm sorry that I've done exactly that to you."

"It's not like you intentionally went behind my back, Vinnie." Jack pointed out. Sighing quietly, he released one of my hands, and brought his free hand up to push some stray hairs out of my face. "I know that I was upset the other day when you told me about Alex kissing you, but I see his side now. If I were in his position, I would have done exactly the same thing. He thought it'd be the last chance he'd ... he'd get to tell you the truth."

I didn't notice the tremble in his touch until he ran his fingertips over my bottom lip. It seems his expression was doing a better job at hiding just how close he was to falling apart, than his hands.

"What if I were to ask you to stay, just for the boys?" Jack whispered.

"Jack, if the only reason I stayed was for the boys, it definitely wouldn't end good." I mumbled.

"You make it sound as if we don't have anything in common." He sighed miserably. "We've been together for nearly four years, Vinnie, with only a handful of fights between us."

"I know that we have a lot in common Jack." I said. "I didn't imply that we didn't."

"I just ... don't want you to go." Jack admitted. "I want to be selfish, and keep you here with me. I don't care if you love Alex. I'm willing to overlook that detail. You said yourself that you don't even know what his intentions are anymore."

"Perhaps you should go and talk to him then, Jack." I whispered. "He was waiting to talk to you, so he could make a decision."

"Fine," Jack mumbled. "But if he ends up wanting to make you his girlfriend, promise me one thing, Vinnie."

"Anything, Jack."

Jack licked his lips slightly, and then looked over his shoulder to where the boys were still fast asleep.

"Promise me you won't take my boys away from me, Vinnie. If they're going to be the only piece of you I have left, please don't take them away from me."

"You mean ... you want full custody of them?" I asked slowly.

"No, not full custody. We both know that they'd be better off with you." he said, shaking his head. "I just don't want you to take them away from me, and make up something about me only being able to see them on certain days. I want to wake up and be able to take them out somewhere without having to plan everything for it a week in advance."

"Of course," I whispered. "I wouldn't even think about keeping them from you, Jack. They're you're sons too."

I wasn't sure as to whether or not he heard me, because he was once again looking at the twins. Eventually, though, he nodded his head and then turned his attention to me.

"I'll go talk to Alex, then." He said quietly. He hesitated, his eyes quickly scanning my face before he leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I love you."

Without waiting for my response, he released my hand and stood up, making his way across the room and into the hallway. Hearing his footsteps fade away, I felt my heart droop lower and lower inside my chest cavity. Was I doing the right thing here?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hearing the knock on the door, I sighed quietly and then interrupted my mom as she rambled on about her long trip to the grocery store this afternoon. "Mom, hang on a sec, someone's at the door."

She mumbled a faint 'okay' in response, and then fell silent as I got up and crossed the room. Making quick work of the locks, I pulled open the door and was surprised to see Jack standing upon the threshold.

"Oh," I said, given that he was the last person I expected to show up at my door.

"Alex? What is it?" My mom questioned.

"Uh," I said, motioning for Jack to come in, "mom, I gotta go. I'll give you a call later."

"Alright, sweetheart, bye."

"Bye mom." I mumbled, and then hung up my cell phone, shoving it into my pocket. I closed the front door, and then turned around, examining Jack who had taken up a spot on the couch. "Hey Jack." I whispered.

"Alex." He replied.

Unsure what to say, I tried to lighten up the mood. "You're not gonna punch me again, are you?"

A faint hint of a smile tugged at the corners of Jack's lips as he shook his head. "No dude. Have a seat, we need to talk."

Nodding my head in agreement, I crossed the room and took a seat nearby on the couch, close enough to hold a decent conversation with him, yet far enough to be out of his reach just in case he changed his mind.

"When did you get back?" I questioned.

"This morning." He replied. "I went home and talked to Vinnie, and, um ... she told me to come over and talk to you."

"Are you two breaking up?" I whispered sadly.

"It sounds like it," he mumbled. "But ... I think a lot of it depends on you, and what you're gonna do now that everyone knows that you two still love each other."

"Oh," I said offhandedly. "I ... I don't know, Jack. I mean, I love Vinnie, with all my heart. But ... I don't know if I can be the boyfriend she needs."

"Oh, for fucks sake, Alex," Jack sighed heavily, "you love her! It doesn't matter if you can be everything she needs, as long as you love her, and she loves you, that should be enough."

"But - "

"No buts, Gaskarth." Jack growled. "Don't sit here and give me all this shit about not being able to give her what she wants. Even if you did think you could give her, her hearts desire, there's no guarantee that that would be enough."

"A girl like Vinnie deserves the best." I mumbled.

"A girl like Vinnie doesn't give a damn about materialistic things, Alex." Jack sighed. "I've given her everything she's ever wanted, I've given into her every wish, but in the end," he paused to wipe away a stray tear that had suddenly fallen, "in the end it's still you she wanted. Quit with the charades, Alex, and just give it a chance."

"Jack, you're so in love with her though." I whispered, with pain pulling at my heart strings. "I don't know if I can just ... take the girl you love away from you. She was engaged to you for crying out loud, she was about to marry you, and take your last name. She makes you so happy ... all I want is for you to be happy."

"I can't be happy, if she's not happy, Alex." Jack told me.

"But ... what about the boys? You two have a family together."

"I've already talked about it with Vinnie," he replied. "We're not going to go through a custody battle with them, or anything. I'll still be around to be their dad. Vinnie won't take them away from me."

"I don't know, Jack." I repeated.

"You do know, Alex." He mumbled. "You're just being too much of a fucking pussy to step it up and take on the responsibility."

"What responsibility?" I asked.

"The responsibility of taking care of her." He said simply.

Frowning to myself, I nodded my head. "You're right." I acknowledged. "I'm scared that I'll break her heart, and I'm scared of losing your friendship, Jack. I honestly don't think I'd make it if something were to happen, where we quit being friends." I admitted.

His eyes falling to the floor, Jack frowned as well. "The other day, when Vinnie told me what happened after the car wreck," he said, "I was pissed at you. Before I came into punch you, though, she pointed out that you had put my happiness above your own. I didn't think about it until later, after I had cooled down. And ... honestly that meant a lot, Alex. If you had put yourself through all that heartache and pain, for the past four years, simply because you wanted me to be happy, then I think it's only fair to step aside right now, and let you two give this relationship a shot."

"Jack," was all I said, simply because I didn't know what else to say.

"Alex, just make up your mind." He whispered, bringing his eyes up to meet my own. "Make a decision so that we can all move on."

With that, either of us fell in silence, either of us deep in thought. I'm not sure how long we sat there, and I wasn't even aware that I had made a decision until my own voice startled me.

"I want her to be my girlfriend." I blurted out. "But ... I'm going to give you guys some time to straighten things out. We leave in a week for tour, but when we got back ... enough time should have passed by then for me to feel comfortable to talk to her about a relationship."

"Well ... what should I tell her?" Jack asked.

"Tell her that I love her with all my heart, but I need some time."

Jack nodded his head, and looked as if he were making a move to get up, but then thought better of it, sitting back on the couch.

"Jack?" I asked.

"Hmm?"

"If there's something else on your mind, feel free to just say it out loud."

"Can you promise me something, Alex?" He whispered.

"Yes."

"Promise me you'll take care of her." He said. "I'm not saying that you need to give her everything she wants, but ... just take care of her the best way that you know how to, and you'll be just fine."

"I will." I promised.

Finally having said what he wanted, Jack nodded his head, and then closed his eyes as he rested his head against the couch. Watching him, I knew that if this had happened between me and someone else, anybody else in the world, they wouldn't have understood like Jack.

Today marks a turning point in our lives, and despite all the things I've done, Jack was still supportive of me. I honestly don't know why Vinnie still picks me over him.