Starvation of the Heart

Virgil's POV

As I layed on Molly's bed with her in my arms, I couldn't help but replay the day in my head. When I saw those guys grab her back in the alley I just lost control. And then seeing the pain in her eyes and the fear in her voice as she choked out my name through tears. I wanted to murder the guy who almost raped MY Rainy, but settled on bashing his head in the wall.When she fell into my arms crying I melted I hated seeing her in so much pain. As I carried her home the only word that lay constant in my mind was "love" I heard her breathing steady as she fell asleep and leaned in and lightly kissed her and then pulled her closer to me, falling asleep.
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Back to Molly's POV

I woke up still in the warmth of virge's arms and I wanted to stay like that forever, but like all good things, it had to come to an end. Virge awoke to a text on his phone. "Good morning" he smiled at me, "How did you sleep?" he asked as he leaned over to retrieve his phone from the night stand. "Good thank you" I said quietly. I watched as he read his text. He looked up from his phone and said "Jamie wants me to hang with her, you wanna come?" He asked, although he knew the answer, I don't like hanging with anyone else, cause they're all bitches. He sighed and asked "Are you sure you don't wanna go, it'll be fun?" I shook my head. "Alright well I gotta go, see ya later, k?" He said getting out of my bed as I watched him leave. Some how I felt sort of cheated, it's not like we are dating or anything, but I mean first thing in the moring he leaves to go hang out with some other chick, who has been crushing on him forever, but he's just to oblivious to see that shes always flirting with him. I didn't feel like getting dressed or anything today, so I settled for old baggy sweats and an old three days grace tshirt on that was all faded. and layed on the couch staring at the ceiling.

I couldn't help but think that he would probably be way better off with her, she was skinnier,prettier, and just a better person than me, but that's not saying much. These thoughts overwhelmed me and I wanted so bad to be good enough for Virge and starving myself just wasn't good enough. So I trudged into the bathroom and locked the door, grabbed my toothbrush and forcefully shoved it down my throat causing my gag reflexes to kick in. It is nothing like the movies though, it's not easy and I had to shove the toothbrush to the back of my throat several time before I actually threw up. I sat clutching the toilet, hucking up my guts, wondering if I'd ever be good enough. When I had nothing left in me to throw up, I grabbed a fresh toothbrush and brushed my teeth and gurgled half a bottle of mouthwash to get the taste out of my mouth. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was more pale the usual, all color drained from my skin. I pitifully stared at my reflection "This is what it has come to then." I said to myself, tears threatening to escape my eyes.

I left the bathroom and decided that I'd go for a run, I haven't gone out running since Virgie came home. So I pulled on an old Escape the Fate hoodie and running shoes. ANd took off onto the streets of New York. I ran past a park and was lookin' around(I like to people watch) when a couple ,mashing faces caught my eyes and my heart shattered it was Jamie and she was making out with Virgil Huskey. I pushed myself to go faster I didn't want to see any more and I just wanted to run off the face of the earth, but of course they had to find out that you can't do that cause the earth is round, thats just shit, cause I would totally run of the edge right now. I ran faster and further, ignoring the pain in my calves. I don know how long I was running for or how far I went, but it was dark now. I ended up stopping after running for what I guessed was over five hours(impossible right?, no I was so numb that I didn't even care) I was so close to fainting so I sat down on a wooden crate in an alley. I know I didn't have the best of luck in alley's, hint hint last night, but I really didn't care. I was breathing really heavy and trying to keep myself concious. Slowly my eyelids got heavier until I couldn't bear it anymore and slipped from conciousness, falling onto the cold damp concrete, unconcious,the last thought in my head this time was "Never Good Enough"