It's Not As Easy As It Looks

The ironic sound of John Denver's voice screaming 'take me home, to the place I belong' only furthered my guilt as I stepped into Birmingham Airport, England.

I looked back at Billie walking behind me, hiding behind tinted sunglasses and a beanie hat. He looked ridiculous; you could still make out that it was him, especially when a group of girls aged between 14 and 40 gushed toward him, screaming and crying over a man that can sing a few tunes and strum a guitar.

I grinned but rolled my eyes as he glanced over at me, who I must say, was patiently waiting, but my short attention span led me to coffee shop, where I settled down with a hot chocolate and a gossip magazine.

For the next few minutes whilst Billie admirably signed all fifteen-thousand copies of his face, I people watched the passers-by and the business men on their net-books, wondering what they where they were going, what they were doing, and even what they were thinking.

I sipped at my hot chocolate, lost in the world of fast and far travel, but as soon as I got deep into thought, Billie pulled me back out of it. "Hey," he said, nudging my arm, I looked at him slowly and smiled. "We going?"

I nodded and stood up out of my chair, tucking my magazine into my brown satchel, and dropping my chocolate into the nearest bin. I gripped onto my suitcase and pulled it behind me to the exit where a kind chauffeur Billie had hired was waiting for us, he took our bags and suitcases as we hopped in and drove off back to my old home.

Upon seeing it I immediately wanted to exclaim I didn't live there, and drive everyone around in a circle all day, but I didn't, I let the chauffeur park slowly outside of my house, all I could do was stare.

I felt so many emotions, it was like a bag of Revels in my mind, I didn't know what emotion was coming next, or if I'd like it.

Billie tapped the window in front of me, and I half wondered how on Earth Billie had gone from sitting next to me, to being on the other side of the door, had I really zoned out that long?

I slowly got out the car and grabbed my suitcase, glancing back at the driver to wave him off. We walked up my cobbled path to my house as I shakily got out of my keys and opened the door, the smell of fresh fabric hitting my senses.

But why?

I hadn't been in the house for months, I expected... musty smells... or something like sour milk... all the kind of horrible smells that stick in an abandoned house.

Upon further inspection my house was completly tidy, not how I left it at all, new sheets, new curtains, a few pieces of brand new furniture, in fact, it looked like someone was living here.

"This place is nice, big, not how I expected it to be," Billie remarked, picking up a newspaper off of the kitchen table. "This is dated two days ago, do you time travel?"

"Not that I know," I said, looking at the newspaper and raising a brow. I opened the fridge to see fresh food filling it. "The food is new in here, too, looks like I have a lodger," I closed the fridge door and turned to face Billie, who was flicking through the paper. "And what did you mean?"

Billie slowly looked up from the newspaper, his finger still gripping onto the page mid-turn. "What?"

"Not how you expected...," I frowned, taking the newspaper off of him. "What did you expect? The slums?!"

"No! No." Billie laughed. "Just somewhere smaller, you know, a little apartment. Maybe the kind with the bed in the living room," He shrugged, taking the newspaper back. "If you don't mind," He continued, reading the paper.

I rolled my eyes and continued my search around my house for clues, who the hell lived here? Should I call the cops? They didn't steal anything, in fact, I was impressed, they were keeping it tidier than I ever had. It was almost like a personal maid, I should even thank them.

I mean they did keep my house tidy, they even stocked my fridge! It was like a helpful squatter!

"Billie stop reading the newspaper, this is serious," I said, getting quite anxious that there may be a stranger in the house, or coming back to the house. I mean, they could be crazy, they might even want to kill me when they find out I'm back!

I found myself following Billie around, who was unknowingly acting like my bodyguard. This time around we checked every single room and every single place a person could hide; it was an empty house.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see," Billie said, sitting back down to read the newspaper. "Maybe you should grab a knife or something," He joked, obviously noticing how tense I was.

I whacked his arm in reply.

Asshole.

***

Billie and I filled the rest of the day waiting for the mystery person to come home by playing a few games of the Xbox, watching some television, and preparing dinner. It may sound like an ordinary day; but it's the kind of day I wanted. We were both jet lagged, and it was a perfect time to just bond together.

Almost close to midnight I heard the door jingle, it stirred me from my sleep on the sofa--I had fell asleep against Billie who was snoring his head off also. I slowly peeled my face off his arm and sat up ready for when the person walked into my sight.

Shoes scuffled around the corner, until the person walked blindly into the living room, they stopped, looking to the television and then to us on the sofa. The person, who was clearly a woman, dropped everything she was holding and let out a little scream.

I leant over and flicked the light switch on the lamp next to me, when the woman spoke up, "Jennifer?"

I knew that voice, of course I knew that voice. I would never ever forget that voice. "...M...Mom!?"

She ran over to me and gave me the most heart-felt hug I have ever received. Instant guilt washed all over me, like I had eaten a whole jar of Nutella in one sitting. I had abandoned her, and rarely contacted. She was my mother, and I purposely separated myself from her. "I'm so sorry mom, I really am," I cried, not realising we had awoken Billie who was rousing from his slumber.

He slowly sat up in confusion, blinked a few times, and after a few seconds, realisation set in. "....hi," he said, his voice sticky from sleep.

"Hello," My mother said, it was too dark to presume Billie was a man she knew. "I'm Yvonne, Jennifer's mother."

Billie's eyes widened like a dear in headlights. "Ah...," He thought of words to say, "I'm... I'm Billie, y'know... uhm,"

My mother laughed softly, "from Green Day, yes, I know now... Jennifer went to work with you in New York and then California, right?"

Billie nodded in reply, "yeah," he smiled. "That's right, we came back to visit, we didn't realise you were staying here..."

"I was supposed to be surprising you tomorrow," I added, patting the seat next to me.

My mother sat down and smiled. "It's okay, I think this is a much bigger surprise." She paused for a second and looked to me. "You must want an explanation... that I didn't tell you online."

I nodded, "please tell..."

"I left your father... I live here now," She said, looking unsure.

I just grinned, "really?!" I laughed, "this is FANTASTIC news!" I stood up and pulled her off the sofa. "We have to celebrate!"

I saw Billie out of the corner of my eye take a glance of his Rolex, as if to say, 'it's too late and I am tired', I smiled to myself, "or we can wait till tomorrow, I'm here for a week."

"Sounds great; I'm really tired, I hope you don't mind me sleeping in your room? Or should I take the sofa, so you two can... share," she said, almost with a hint in her voice. I gave her the 'stop pressing it' look and she sighed, "okay, I'll take my room, you can sleep with me, Billie takes the sofa."

"Sounds like a plan!" I said, heading off to bed.

Billie looked around in confusion. "Wait what?!" My mother just looked down at him and laughed, before joining me in my room. "What just happened?"

Both of us giggled, and walked into my bedroom to set up our beds. Billie scratched his head in disbelief, losing a fight he didn't know he was in to two girls. He sighed and made himself comfortable on the sofa, staring at the ceiling he knew he'd have to get used to this, rather than a luxurious bed.

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

I stared out of my window, staring at the town I had left not too long ago. It felt like nothing had changed, but at the same time it felt like everything had changed. Everything felt different, and almost foreign.

I got myself ready for bed, and handing Billie some pillows and a duvet to use whilst he had to make do on the sofa. I think he had expected the bed by the look on his face, but he had no choice.

I finally lay my head down on my cool pillow and closed my eyes, it had been an extremely busy day and I was so jet lagged, I felt sorry for Billie when I realised he must have felt as bad as me, but it wasn't on my priority list of things to worry about.

An hour later, thoughts pulsing around my head still, I opened my eyes. All I was greeted by was the moon gleaming out over England. For awhile I stared into the light of the moon, unable to push a sense of dread out of my stomach. I sighed and rolled over onto my back, I felt so sick with anxiety. I tilted my head to see my mother sleeping peacefully, and I knew Billie was probably fast asleep, too.

Maybe I had made a mistake coming back.

Or maybe I just worried too much.

I had people on my side now, I wasn't alone like before. I could do this, I could stand up to everyone I left.

...Right?

Welcome home Jennifer.