It's Not As Easy As It Looks

"So let me get this straight, you went to tell him, and you caught him kissing Tiff?"

"Yes Morgan," I groaned lying on my bed in my PJ's. "For the umpteenth time, he's dating her now."

"Damn it," she muttered. "I was so sure..."

"So was everyone else apparently," I shrugged, I was doing that a lot these days. Just shrugging off my emotions and everyone's advice.

I had cried enough to realise it wasn't going to get him back, so it was like I almost gave up.

"You should be writing your essay for college," I said sternly, almost motherly to Morgan, she groaned and rolled off my bed.

"But... I don't want to, I just want to help you and sleep!" She stood like a 5 year old resisting sleep. I giggled at her. "What?"

"Nothing," I shook my head. "Get some sleep," I smiled, snuggling into my own bed, she nodded and headed off into her room she had made for herself. She had basically moved in permanently, and I didn't mind, I loved having a friend around.

Miles hopped onto my bed and curled around my body, I smiled and cuddled into him. Make that two friends.

***

The next morning I was awoken by the sound of my home phone ringing loudly down my ears. I was half asleep when I stumbled out of my bed; knocking Miles straight onto the floor. I ran to the phone, my legs like jelly. I started to regret putting the only phone in the kitchen.

I practically dived for it when Morgan strolled towards it and answered casually, "Hello?" She paused for the person on the other end of the phone. I slumped against my wall and waited. "Oh yes she's here, I'll put her on," she mouthed a 'Click It before handing it me.

My eyes widened and I stared at the phone for a few seconds. "Hello?"

"Hey Jenni, it's Dean from Click It here, thought I'd give you a day to settle back before calling you, are you free for a meeting about a new job?" He asked me, it took me awhile to comprehend.

"Yes! Any time, too, I don't mind!" I said, maybe too enthusiastically. I looked to Morgan and gave her a thumbs up. We arranged a time and place to meet, and hung up. I placed the phone back in it's holder and looked back to Morgan, doing a victory dance of sorts.

"Looks like I got another job again, thank God, someone needs to pay the rent," I looked at Morgan raising my brow; I was just teasing her for now, I knew she would share rent, but was in a bit of a predicament at the moment with university.

"Yeah yeah, I did say I will start paying once I get my waitress job in the café down the street, and what job did they give you?" She enquired curiously, perching herself on a chair in the kitchen.

"Not sure, I'll find out this afternoon, they want me to head over to San Fran!" I grinned.

Morgan smiled and watched me move to the fridge. "I'm glad to see you so happy... and it will take your mind off things."

My face dropped and I pressed my head against the fridge. "Oh... I forgot... oh well, life goes on and all that," I said as I opened the fridge and got out some milk. "I can't spend my time crying over spilt milk," I shook the milk bottle in my hand.

"Nope... no point," She agreed. "Hey... can I go to San Fran with you?"

***

Click It met with me, they gave me a few commissions to take pictures of San Francisco, capturing the day-to-day life of someone living here, going from a business man to a surfer. They wanted a new direction; not just nature, and they wanted a good photographer to make this move for the company, I felt honoured, and of course accepted the offer in a flash.

I automatically loved the city. It felt like New York but a lot more laid back, and it even had a beach and sea.

"I want to stay here," I said, looking to Morgan. We were sat on the beach, quite late at night, eating seafood we had gotten from a vendor not too far from where we were sitting. "It's so peaceful here."

Morgan lent back, her hands dug into the sand, her eyes closed. "Mmm, we should move here," She opened one eye and turned her head to look at me. "It'd help with this job."

"What about university? It's quite a journey across the bridge, I know it'd help, but your education is important, we can move here after, I'll just commute over there, it's not to a set time, so I can leave at any point and spend a few days there, stay in a hotel, or come back, I'm not bothered."

Morgan nodded, "least one of us has their head on a their shoulders," she grinned, and went back to looking at the sea. "I can't wait, imagine us both working here, me working in that big shiny office building, you in the opposite one, we could wave at each other through the windows."

I laughed at the fantasy, but knew I'd love to see it happen as much has her. "I'd love that, too."

Morgan was quickly becoming one of my best friends. There was a 6 year age gap but it didn't matter, we instantly clicked, we had so much in common but we were both very different people. I could see myself living with her in a few years, I could see us being best friends in a retiring home in 60.

The feeling of having friends over here kept me grounded, kept me from moving on, getting scared and running away.

"I hope I meet someone I can settle down with," Morgan suddenly blurted out. "I really want a family."

I nodded and smiled. "Me too, one or two children, I don't mind, a good husband who will be my best friend, it's all anyone ever wants really... or well, a wife, or just a partner in fact I don't care."

"You were rambling," She giggled. "I hate to bring this up but... you and Billie... ?"

I looked over to her. " What about us?"

"It will happen, I know it, I can feel this sort of thing," She said firmly, 100% sure this was going to happen. "Trust me."

"I'll let life play out the way it should, I'm not going to force it, so we will see."

Morgan sat up and looked at me then to the sea. "I guess we will."

***

I was sat in the café down the road from me, flicking through a newspaper. I hadn't been here long enough to understand most of the local articles, but it helped me get a good feel for the area.

I picked up my coffee whilst still reading the paper, sipping it occasionally.

I was waiting for Billie Joe to arrive, I figured we should probably talk, I wanted to know if we were still friends, but it had been a few days since his birthday and we hadn't talked at all. We had gone from talking at least once each day, to nothing.

I heard the jingle of the door and my head shot up; but it was just an old couple coming in for lunch. I sighed and went back to flicking my newspaper. I glanced to the time on my phone and grew impatient. Maybe he wasn't coming--maybe he was with Tiffany, doing stuff or something.

A few jingles later Billie finally arrived, I smiled when I saw him, but it faded when I saw that Tiff had tagged along. I tried to hide my scowl; I hadn't invited her, this was between Billie and I, nothing to do with her, so why was she here?

"Hey... guys," I greeted them, a fake smile plastered across my face. "Sit down... Tiff you'll have to grab a chair... I didn't think you were coming so I got a two seat table," I shrugged, Tiff tilted her head at me and grabbed a chair to sit on.

"Sorry I didn't realise," She said with the softest voice and looked to Billie.

"I... uh... just presumed it was an open thing," He said, I hated his tone of voice. I hated his voice. I suddenly just wanted to splash my coffee all over his face for the way he was acting.

But of course I remained calm as ever. "Sure, I don't mind," I smiled at Tiff, really thinking, 'fuck off bitch, you aren't invited!' "So what have you been up to?"

"Oh we've just been hanging out, went to the zoo, around the city, y'know," Billie smiled, slinking his arm around her waist. I wanted to gag. Way to rebound, dude.

"Ah, I wouldn't know, you didn't call or anything," I smiled, obviously with an annoyed tone in my voice. "But, it's great to see you both so happy." No it's not.

"Sorry," He apologised, not noticing anything. Was this guy really that much of an idiot? Why had I fallen in love with such an idiot? "You can come hang out with us if you want."

'Us'?

What happened to the fact we were close friends, what happened to England, the kiss, everything, why had he thrown me out like garbage?!

"I'm busy," I said bitterly, "I got a new job, not that you'd know... having been so busy," I muttered. I knew I should just be happy for him, but God damn he was treating me like nothing happened between us.

"Really?!" His eyes lit up and a smile formed on his face. "That's great, I'm so happy for you! ...wait... where is it?" He said, his smile changing into a concerned look.

"San Francisco, I'm not going anywhere just yet," I smiled, "so there's nothing to be worried about."

"Oh I'm not worried, I'm sure you can take care of yourself," Billie grinned at me, that's when I lost it.

"What?" I growled. I was so fucking pissed. "You ruined my career in Portugal, but now you're suddenly okay with it all? Why the fuck have you changed so much in THREE days, that's how long it's been with you two, ugh."

Billie glared at me. "What? Gee I was just supporting you, no need to be so bitchy about it."

My eyes widened, I just smiled sarcastically and stood up from my chair. "Fuck you," I said simply before walking out, leaving the two sat at the table together.

I walked home, wondering whether I was being irrational just because I was jealous, or whether because Billie was acting like a completely different man now he had a girlfriend. Or maybe it was a mixture of both.

A knock on the door surprised me, I peered through the peep hole, only to be surprised that Tiffany was stood outside my house, without Billie by her side. I sighed and decided to give her a chance.

I opened the door to her, and she smiled sadly at me. "Hey..." She said, "can I come in? I think we need to talk."

"Did Billie send you?" I asked sternly, realising I was putting up my defences again. "Nevermind," I sighed and stepped aside for her to walk in.

"Thanks, and no, he didn't; I'm here by my own accord," She said, walking into my house. "I think we got off on the wrong foot and I just want to make amends. I know how close you two were, are, whatever, he's upset you are mad at him, I thought if we could be friends, it'd help your friendship with Billie."

I bit my lip and sighed. I looked away from her, "I'm not promising anything, but sure... sit down I'll make you a drink, we can... talk," I went off to make drinks and Tiff made herself comfortable on my sofa. "Oh and I hope you don't mind cats," I shouted from the kitchen, as Miles bounded in from outside and straight onto Tiff's lap. He sniffed her all over, curious as to what this new smell was.

I brought out two drinks for us and sat down next to her. "He won't bit you, just stroke him," I smiled, and she did as I told. Miles instantly started purring and curled up on her lap. "Aw, I think he likes you," I laughed, admiring the fact Miles may be too friendly for his own good.

I handed Tiff her drink, being careful not to scold neither her or myself as she accepted it with a thank you, she blew on it before taking a sip and I did the same.

"I just want to say thank you... for coming over, I know I was a bitch earlier, you didn't have to do this."

"I did," She said, placing the cup down on the coffee table, "I'd like to be friends with you, start over, and I'd like for Billie and yourself to be friends again, also"

I bit my lip and smiled. She didn't realise it would never be like before, because she was in the picture, and I knew Billie had put boundaries up so our friendship never crossed into that territory whilst he was with someone else.

Tiff and I sat and talked for the remainder of the day, only stopping to say goodbye once the sun had gone down. I learnt a lot about Tiff; her background, her job, her hobbies and interests.

It was nice to have a new friend, but it felt wrong under these circumstances because I was still angry, and upset that she had walked into my life and took the man I wanted. But I had to accept that it wasn't her fault, and that what happened happened, and that I had to suck it up and be friends with both her and Billie for the sake of our friendship.

I couldn't go on being the bitter other woman, I had to get over it.

I just had to learn how first.