It's Not As Easy As It Looks

It was the same day, of course, and I had set everything up for a house warming party, to get me settled in, so to speak… it wasn’t my idea, Morgan had suggested it to me earlier in hospital. She was here, helping me put up streamers since I was feeling a bit tired. The house had a modern feel to it, but at the moment, it looked like a convention for three year olds, with rainbow confetti strung from chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.

As I opened my plastic white door, I let the group in my house as they arrived one by one. I greeted them all with a smile and offered them drinks (of the non alcoholic kind.) They all sat down around the wooden table in my dining area. I looked to them as they had smiles plastered to their faces.

“What?” I asked, with a bemused look spread across my own face.

Morgan just shook her head and laughed. “Nothing, silly, we’re just glad you’re okay, I mean…” She stood up and wandered over to me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. “…it is our fault you almost died, remember.”

I raised one brow and managed to look up at Morgan. “Oh, I remember, alright, and I got a migraine on speed dial so I don’t forget.”

Everyone at the table managed a laugh, and then Morgan sat down and rummaged through her handbag. "We all got you something," Morgan smiled handing me what she had searched for in her bag.

It was a cute little box, wrapped in a pink paper; it even had little purple bows splurged across it. “Aw, thank you, you really shouldn’t have – not with Christmas being two days away!”

"Open it," She simply said, not caring about the holidays so much.

I nodded in reply and unwrapped the present, I smiled and laughed a bit. "A… cat bowl?” I questioned, raising my brow at the younger girl. “…I—erm… I don’t know what you eat out of, but I eat off a plate,” I said jokingly, winking at her.

Next, Mike stood up and handed over a present, I said thank you as I started ripping open the paper. Once again, I was left totally puzzled. “I’m noticing a continuing pattern here.”

“Well don’t spoil it,” Tré giggled at me, whilst handing me his present, this one was smaller than the other two, and as I ripped it open I just bit my lip. How could I reply to this? Mike had gotten me a cat scratcher, whilst Tré had gotten me a cat nip mouse.

When Billie stood up I expected another cat related item, but when he brought out a large hefty box with holes in it, I smiled like I had never before. “Oh my God… you didn’t!”

Billie smiled innocently. “Didn’t what?”

I carefully held the box Billie had put into my arms. "Get me a pet."

"Maybe," He smiled and winked before walking to sit back down at his chair, I opened it up to be greeted by 2 bright blue eyes staring at me.

I instantly screamed “aw” as loud as I could and placed the box down on the table. I lifted the young ginger tabby cat and hoisted it into the air like they did on The Lion King. I checked to see the sex of the kitten and saw that it was a little boy.

"Awwwwww! Oh my God, I can’t believe you guys did this for me!" I held the kitten in my arms and stroked his fur. “He’s so cute – thank you so much!”

"Hey no problem, I knew you missed home and your cat, so she should be a great substitute," Billie said as he watched my go gaga over the kitten.

"So, what are you going to call him?” Morgan asked me, bouncing up and down on the spot.

"Hmm," I thought. I thought through all the beautiful names I could pick before finally deciding on one perfect one. “Erm... Miles," I smiled as put Miles down lightly on the grass. I watched his every move like he was my child.

The house warming party continued, and after about an hour, the nervous Tré who hadn’t spoken to me much since he got here dragged me off into my “office room” for a quiet one on one talk. "Hey…,” He spoke softly, looking into my hazel eyes like he had never seen them before. “I-I’m… so sorry. I have no--,”

“Sssh,” I said in reply. “Tré, it doesn’t matter, I just hope we can put this all behind us and be friends again… like before.”

“Yeah, me too,” He hung his head down low and sighed. “I just… I’m sorry that I did that to you… it’s just… I’m so confused… I think I want Stevie back… yeah… I do… really bad.”

"Well, if you two are meant to be then you’ll both see through the cracks in your relationship, and it will all work out perfectly, if not, then you two are just not meant to be,” I said, resting a hand on his shoulder.

Tré grabbed my hand and held it. "I hope so... I think I love her.”

I smiled widely at Tré, who didn’t really seem to get it. "Tell her that."

Tré let go of my hand and paced backwards. "It’s not that easy—trust me… especially if she doesn’t want to be with me."

"Maybe she’s looking for commitment, and if you haven’t told her you loved her yet, she won’t know that you are ready to settle down with her… I mean… you are… aren’t you?” Tré nodded in reply and so I did, too. “Well then, if you tell her that then you can work something out and be together—it’s as easy as it sounds.”

Tré pulled me into a hug, and, in the few moments of silence I felt like I had actually had a positive impact on Tré’s life. “Thank you, Jen, you are… a hero,” He whispered into my ear, causing me to blush.

“I know, I know,” I joked, and pulled out the hug. “Well, looks like we’ve got a party to go back to,” I smiled, and I watched as Tré nodded and walked out of my office. I sighed and sat down on the office chair, leaning into it I rested my palm to my head. I think I just rang my migraine on speed dial, and it picked up sooner than I had intended.

My annoying phone buzzed in my pocket, at least, for once, I didn’t have the ringing tune on. My head might just have exploded right there and then on the new laminated flooring.

“Hello?” I said quietly, not recognising the number when I had accepted the call.

“Is this Miss. Jennifer Ruth Walker?” The man’s voice was low, I still didn’t recognise him. But I panicked, just in case it had something to do with my life back in England – the life I had tried to forget about.

“My name is Mr. Mochizuki, and I am your temporary boss, contracted to work in the photography section of this building as Mr. Brands is away due to family matters. I see you have not turned up to work today, not a good first impression, I must say,” He said cockily. My mouth was already open agape from listening to his ego inflate. A temporary boss, talking like that? How rude.

“I—Er—I’m on sick, today, I was discharged from hospital earlier,” I replied, leaning into the chair more. I need some head on… like now.

“Well, if you were discharged, that means you are perfectly healthy to come to work, yes?”

“…I wouldn’t say perfectly healthy, no,” I answered back, in a monotone way, not that anyone could tell, since my accent was so monotone.

“Miss Walker, I advise you to speak better to higher authority. Now, if you are late to work tomorrow, I am afraid I will have to dismiss you from work,” He said, in a matter-of-fact tone. What an ass.

“Y-You’re going to FIRE me?!” I yelled back, sitting up in the chair and feeling my head on countdown to explode.

“If you’re late one more time, then yes, Miss Walker, I will fire you… even if it is Christmas Eve,” Mr. Mochizuki laughed at me, before I heard a beep. The other end of the phone fell silent; much did everything else around me.

Was this not why I was here? Wasn’t this my line that I was walking across? If this snaps, I fall. I’d have to move back home, and beg everyone for forgiveness, and boy, do I hate begging.

I decided to throw my phone across the room as my last resort, feeling my head bang upon its own walls in resistant. Much to my dismay, Billie had walked in and witnessed my random act of violence. "What was that all about?" He asked, confused as hell, probably.

“Mr. Mochizuki isn’t a nice Santa,” I muttered under my breath before putting my head into my hands.

Billie walked over to me, knelt down, and put his hand on my knee. “Hey… what are you talking about?”

“New boss wants to fire me, Billie,” I lifted my head and with heavy eyes I sniffed. “This job is what keeps me from going back home.”

Billie pulled me into a hug, and I did what I never did – I sobbed into Billie’s shoulder. “Shussh… I’ll talk to Wade…”

“No… he… he’s a-away because o-of family matt… matters,” I stumbled and repeated my words. Truth is--I hadn’t cried since I left England, and now I was I felt like a heavy burden was being lifted off of my back, but poor Billie for being on the other end of this.

“Oh,” Was all Billie could come up with, after a short pause he shifted and pulled out of the hug. “Well, why is he firing you?”

“Because I should have come in today, and if I’m late tomorrow, he’ll fire me,” I said quietly, hiccupping a little. “What an ass,” I added as an afterthought, causing Billie to give me a low chuckle.

“Well then,” He said, standing up and putting out his hand for me. I took it and stood up. “Don’t be late.”

I narrowed my brow at Billie and whacked his arm… gently, of course. “Gee, thanks Aunt Billie, thanks a lot.”

Billie started up laughing again, and on seeing my annoyed facial expression, he continued laughing some more. “Sorry… it’s just… it’s what you should do. I could recommend kicking your boss’s ass, but then you’ll get fired,” He replied, shrugging.

I nodded and sighed. “True,” I looked up at Billie and smiled brightly. “Thank you… I appreciate that you’re here for me, I really do.”

After a few short moments later we both went separate ways—Billie headed outside, whilst I went upstairs to go to the bathroom, so I could fix my make-up, and take pain killers.

When I was all done up I went back downstairs to see Morgan and Tré in the midst of a deep conversation, I sighed and walked out.

I joined Mike and Billie in the kitchen, and they immediately stopped talking as I entered the room. “I—erm, sorry to interrupt!” I squeaked, backing out of the kitchen and into the hallway. Geez… is there anywhere to go in my own home and have a little conversation?

I decided there wasn’t, so I went outside. Californian still amazed me. It was, honestly, the hottest day of my life, and it was the 23rd of December.

I expected snow, but I guess they’ve never heard of a white Christmas over here.

I heard the door behind me slide open and then a shuffling of feet. I looked behind to see Mike walk up beside me and then sit down next to me on the concrete slab floor. “Hey,” Mike greeted me, cheerfully.

“Hey,” I smiled, happy to have some company again. “Can I ask something?”

“Sure, shoot,” Mike said, mimicking that of a basketball playing throwing a ball.

“Has there ever been a white Christmas over here in California?” I asked, and when Mike started laughing I looked down, embarrassed.

“Yes! Of course there has, it’s not like Australia,” He said, whilst chuckling away, at my demise. After a couple of moments in silence of watching the clouds passed by, I laughed… loudly. Mike, who was now openly bemused, stared at me with a raised brow. “What on Earth is making you laugh, tea cake?”

I instantly frowned at the nickname pattern that had been developing since I started staying in the United States. “Nothing… just… your answer… it kind of made me laugh…,” Still laughing, I half choked on my words. When I felt a wintry breeze pass us both by, we shuddered. “But not as good as sitting by a fire, I suppose, come on,” I stood up and held out my hand for Mike to take, which he did, firmly like I say – there’s nothing like a man’s grip.

“So, are you hoping for snow?” He asked me, I hadn’t realised he had stopped walking, so by now I had reached the end of the hallway. “Jen…”

I turned around, utterly confused; Mike beckoned me to approach him, so I did… slowly. “…what is it?”

“Look,” Mike whispered, pointing outside. It was weird… that wintry breeze had brought a blanket of snow, and now it was covering all of the area. “That’s weird… are you Mother Nature?”

I giggled as I still stared at the beautiful white snowflakes drifting past without a care. It was magical – truly. I loved the stuff, only, I hate it when it’s thrown at me.

I stood back as I saw what was happening, after not hearing or seeing that Mike had left the building and had gotten a handful of snow. He was now aiming at me as I ran as quick as I could down the hallway, and up my stairs. “DON’T BRING THAT SNOW IN HERE, MIKE!” I yelled at him, and then laughed at how I had already made rules in my house.

My first snow day in California, was cold, wet, but lots and lots of fun…

***

My alarm clock rang out happily, I woke up holding my head as I set the button to snooze, smiling to myself as my head hit the pillow, a reminder hit my head.

'If you’re late one more time you’re fired!'

I quickly got up to look at the alarm clock, it was 9:45, and I had 15 minutes! Shit! I had forgotten to re do the alarm time on my alarm clock!

As I went to get up off of my bed, something heavy was tugging me down, wondering what the hell it was I cranked my neck around to see Miles staring up at me with his bright sparkling eyes. He meowed at me brightly, signalling it was time to get up and feed him, but I really didn’t have any time.

Instead, I flung on a few clothes and somebody spray, and brushed my hair whilst leaving the house. Now I just had transport issues.

I flew my arms up into the air in defeat as I trotted back into my house. Miles stared at me, in which I replied to by sticking my tongue out at the small kitten. “Go away… stop looking at me… with those… big… cute… …fine I’ll feed you,” I grumbled, going to quickly feed him, whilst stroking him once.

I pulled out my mobile phone and dialled the number for a taxi cab service.

Impatience is not a virtue, let me tell you that.

I was practically bawling my eyes out, whilst hopping up and down waiting for it to come. When it finally did arrive, I yelled at the driver to step on it… if I was going to be late, I might as well not make it too late. I was hoping I could be forgiven.

I was barking up the wrong tree with my hopes, because my prayers weren’t answered this time. I could already tell this by the fact I had just crashed into my newly boss that I just loved so much. “Mr. Mochizuki!” I squeled. “I’m so sorry!” I said, holding out my hand so he could use it to get up.

Instead he brushed it off, and stood up himself, brushing himself down constantly. “Come into my office, Miss Walker,” He sneered, vindictively.

I felt like lying on the floor, right here, on this shiny marble floor. Even if the janitor comes by with the polisher, they could just give me a shiny head.

I followed him into a small office, he sat down on a leather recliner, I stood looking at him, I was shaking, he pointed for me to sit down and I did. He was busy writing something down on a piece of paper whilst I glanced around the room biting my lip, when all of a sudden the taller man handed me the piece of paper and an envelope.

"Merry Christmas," He smiled; I read the letter, tears welling up in my eyes.

I was officially unemployed.

Merry fucking Unemployment.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand; once I had straightened myself out I looked down and focused on a pen on his hardwood table. "Why? I was only late twice,” I questioned, and with it, I earned a sigh.

He looked up to me, with his brown angry-filled eyes. “You haven’t had many days in this office, being late so much for these amount of days is not a good standard--,”

“—But Wade--,”

“—isn’t here, is he? I’m in charge, and I expect the best. You are just not—the photographer lined up outside my office is filling your shoes and he’s… oh so much better then you,” He laughed, evilly.

I looked away. “Oh…,” I hung my head low and decided to just leave, before I either killed the guy or myself. As I walked out I saw the photographer outside Mr. Mochizuki’s office. “What did you do… sleep with him?” I cheekily said, before exiting the building, for what looked like my final time. I said my goodbyes and left my card at the desk.

Sayonara.

I suddenly felt the small thin piece of wire that was keeping me together, snapping, as I sat on the steps outside the sky scraped and bawled my eyes out. I didn’t even care about anyone else. Reality had all become a blur at the moment.

My job—my love, was keeping me here in America, it paid my bills, it’s the reason why I’m in America, and it’s the only reason I’d stay.

Now what? I go home?

I got my phone out and dialled a number, pressing the mobile to my ear gently; I wiped my tears and listened for the other end to pick up. “Hello?” The person on the other end asked, sounding kind of tired. This is absolutely great… now I had ruined someone’s day.

“Hello… Elle… I need a favour,” I didn’t want to sound too panicked and be all, ‘argh, help! I’m in trouble, set sail ahoy now!’

“…who is this?” Elle curiously asked me.

“It’s Jenni… remember… I spoke to you not too long ago… your friend…,” I hope. Since I had certainly lost all of my closest friends so far, it would make sense the rest hated me, too.

“Ah, that’s who you are, you’re voice did sound familiar… it’s just… you know… you’re calling from America,” Obviously no one had checked up on me, or else news would have spread that I moved to America A WHOLE DAMN MONTH A GO.

“I’ve been here for a month, it’s obvious by now that no one really cares if I just took off,” I said, sounding more like a depressed teenager acting out for attention more than anything. “…well, first off, I’m sorry, but I really need your help.”

I heard a sigh, and immediately lost all hope. “Well, you did help me out with my family problems a lot, and you also got me out of a lot… so… what do you need?” She asked me, I smiled more to myself then her –I had an ally on the other side of the world!

“I… just got… fired from my job here, and er—I know you’re a real estate woman… so… do I need to sell my house over here and go back… no actually… I could sell my house in Cannock and get the money to pay my bills… is this possible?” I started biting my nails out of nervousness; the feeling of worry was too overwhelming.

“Honey—you need to be living over here to sell it… and you’re not. We can’t just sell your house… you have to personally move every item, every carpet, and things like that out of thouse before even thinking about selling it… it’ll take more than a day trip to sort this one out,” She said, trying to sound as sympathetic and honest at the same time as possible.

I looked down at the grey steps below me and sighed. “I’m so confused as to what I have to do, Elle…”

“You must be, but, you have to find your feet in this world… it’s your time to chose between the two countries.”

***

I opened up the cab door and shut it lightly, I walked over the pebbles and into the cool golden sand which was slightly damp from the snow we had yesterday. I took off my shoes and socks and made my way to the sea's edge, where I sat down and let the water tickle my toes, hoping the sea’s waves wouldn’t crash into the whole of my body.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" I turned my head and saw Billie approaching me; I quickly turned away and wiped the tears from my face.

“How did you know I was here?” I asked him, suspiciously. “Like, seriously, are you… stalking me?”

Billie laughed at me, before joining me at the water’s edge. “No,” he let out a small laugh and shook his head. “No, I don’t do that anymore,” I raised my brow at Billie, but remained silent so he could carry on where he left off. “I come down to the beach to try and get away from it all… what with… what's happening around me.”

“That’s what I was hoping to do, but so far, a seagull nearly shat on me, and they charged me $2 for a drink,” I grimaced, but then added a smile at the end to make it less obvious I was upset. “Plus I got fired today,” I added after, with a short burst of confidence, that obviously didn’t last long as I immediately snapped my head to my feet, and shoved my finger nail in between my teeth.

“Why on Earth did you get fired? Were you late?” I nodded in reply and Billie sighed. “With Wade gone, there’s not much you can do… still… this is California, it won’t be hard to find another photography job… or… if worst comes to worst… just another job,” Billie put his arm around me and I smiled.

“That’s true, I’ll just carry on with my life over here, I’ll stick my feet in the sand and start over,” I spoke, having made a decision to stay. Billie just raised his brow at my word usage, causing me to laugh. “I’ll just work in the zoo.”

“I know, you’d make an interesting exhibit,” Billie joked, but my mouth still flew open.

“Oh, burn!” I screamed out, like a preppy teenager. I stood up and kicked the sea water that had soaked my foot at Billie. He screeched and ran off. “Yeah, you can RUN!” I yelled out, on lookers by looking quite shocked. I giggled as Billie ran back to me, panting away. I looked to the sun to see it setting and smiled once again. “I should be getting home before it get’s dark, the bus is due anytime soon.”

“You can hitch a ride with me,” He offered.

“Sure!” I accepted, not knowing why I was so enthusiastic. Normally I’d say… ‘only if it’s okay with you’ before accepting something like that. It’s not like I knew Billie well either---it had only been a month since I had first stepped on NYC ground.

Oh, NYC, how I miss you so.

***

As we sat in the car, it was peaceful. Neither of us spoke, but instead we took notice of the day’s passing time by watching the oddly coloured hues flicker across the sky, hiding away every time we passed someone’s home.

Billie was the first to speak, clearing his throat before doing so. "Remember that you always have a helping hand over here. You have Tré, Mike, Morgan, and myself to help you whenever you need it.”

“I don’t need mothering but thank you, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You’re a good friend,” I smiled, not realising why I was acting this way.

Here I was. Jennifer Ruth Walker. Quiet low self esteem girl. Like anyone remembered me from High School…

“Hey it's Christmas tomorrow!" Billie giggled, I hadn’t seem him so excited. “I get to see my sons, and cook a Christmas meal… for like… the first time.”

“Oh boy,” I mumbled, not looking at Billie, but as my house as we approached it. “Let me know how it goes, okay?”

“You’re not going to come around then?” He said, it was more of an offer then anything. “…Because there’s plenty of room at the Armstrong table.”

I felt tears burning my eyes, but I decided to swallow them and smile. “W-Wow… Billie… that’s so nice of you… I’d love to spend Christmas with a friend… that’d be nice, especially since I’m not home for Christmas.”

Billie nodded in reply as I un-fastened my seat belt. “Uh... so... what did you get your sons?"

"Stuff...,” He said in a low voice.

I turned to him and laughed. "You haven't got them anything yet have you?"

Billie simply rolled his green eyes in reply, causing me to laugh some more. It was a nice feeling to laugh, especially after what Santa decided to get me today. Billie coughed to get my attention back; I stopped laughing and bit my lip to stop me in future. "No...” he muttered, causing me to laugh even more.

I knew, for some reason, Christmas would never be the same again…