Words I Might Have Ate

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“What are you doing here?” I ask, looking down at her white face confusedly.

She shrugs her bare shoulders, tucking a strand of her dark red hair back behind her ear before she looks up at me from under her eyelashes. “If I’m going to brag about how I once discussed literature with the lead singer of a famous band, then I at least have to see you guys play, right?”

Immediately my mind goes back to that party a few weeks ago. Running into her on the sandy beach just after our meeting with Rob seemed like it happened years before any of this. But I clearly remember how drunk she had been and how genuinely excited she had seemed for us even though she knew nothing about us or our music.

She had said that she wanted to come out and see us play. It was my luck that she just so happened to come down to Gilman’s on the night that we get banned from playing on our home stage while we were under a contract with a major record label.

I nod slowly, running a hand down the side of my face as fresh waves of anger boil over me. Anger towards Mac for turning his back on us so easily, anger towards everyone in Gilman’s who just sat there and let him kick us out and anger towards whoever let it slip that we had signed the contract today. Finally I look back down at the young girl in front of me. “I’m just sorry that you came out tonight.”

“Yeah,” She agrees easily, crossing her arms over her chest and scuffing her shoe on the crumbling concrete of the curb we were standing on. “Tonight just isn’t really your night, is it?”

“I can’t believe they fucked us over like that,” I reply, working hard to keep my temper under control. My hands twitch at my side and it takes all of my will-power to not storm back inside the club and start swinging my fists at anyone and everyone. “Just because we signed with Reprise doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve to be up on the stage. We work just as hard as the kids who aren’t signed—hell, we work harder than them. So how is us getting kicked out fair at all?” I turn on my heel and storm out onto the street, not even paying attention to the traffic.

I earn myself several shrill car horns and loud yells, but I ignore it as I reach the other side of the street where Mike and Tré are waiting for me by the car. Both of them have lit up cigarettes of their own and Mike is grabbing at his hair in a frustrated manner while Tré is sitting on the hood of his car, puffing away moodily.

“Life isn’t fair, you know?” Rilla speaks quite suddenly from my side and I jump, taking a subconscious step to the left away from her. I hadn’t been expecting her to follow me across the street at all. The majority of girls would have just watched me from the safety of the sidewalk, not follow me in the middle of danger.

“Thanks Gandhi,” I mutter under my breath, continuing on my way towards the car. “I’m sorry,” I stop walking and look up at the sky, as if I could magically find some answers in the sun’s setting rays. “You didn’t do anything wrong and I shouldn’t take this out on you.”

“It’s alright,” She waves it away easily. “You’re angry, I get it. At least you still have that other place to play at, don’t you?”

For just a moment, I have no idea what she’s talking about. But then I realize that she must be speaking about Mario’s. I nod as I exhale, shoving my hands deep in my pockets. “Yeah, but this was our home, you know? It’s stupid, we don’t deserve this.”

“So what are you going to do about it?” She asks in that soft voice, watching me carefully. The breeze from the ocean moves her curtain of red hair slightly and I catch the slightest hint of something sweet in the air before it disappears.

I shake my head, mesmerized by the way her green eyes glitter and animate her entire face. “I have no idea.”

“You should see if you’re allowed to play at your work,” Rilla announces suddenly. When she catches sight of the incredulous look on my face, she hurries on to explain herself. “I mean, every time I’m in there, the place is always dead. And if you want to bring in more customers, just bring in live entertainment. That’s where you come in—you can get paid double to play or whatever. You get your music out there and people come in to the bar to drink and hang out.”

“It’s not my job anymore,” I admit gruffly, glaring down angrily at the clump of weeds by Tré’s tire. “I was just a temporary replacement for someone who broke their arm; I’ll be finished there in a few days.”

“Well Jesus,” Rilla is quiet for a moment before she laughs softly, like I just said something hilarious and not terribly depressing. “It just really isn’t your week, is it?”

Just as I’m about to agree, my nose twitches with the familiar smell of cigarettes and something unmistakable. I turn and look back at the club’s entrance just as she walks out of the shadowy doors in a cloud of smoke.

She crosses the street easily, her full hips swinging up and down slowly as she draws closer to us. Her eyes are dark and focused completely on me as she walks and I immediately feel my heart speed up in my chest and my throat goes dry, like I’d run a marathon instead of just watched her float towards me purposefully.

“These last two nights just really haven’t been your night, have they, Rock Star?” She asks in that low voice, arching one eyebrow up at me when she catches my gaze.

Rilla watches the new girl closely, her forehead creased up in confusion. But her bewilderment quickly fades into that of recognition once she realizes that we know each other.

Abigail knocks the ash off the tip of the cigarette before she tosses her head, her blonde hair glinting in the setting sunlight. “He got ditched last night too.” Rilla looks at me questioningly but Abigail laughs lightly, blowing her cigarette smoke to her right towards Rilla carelessly. “We were together last night and he’s probably still sulking because I left him waiting.”

I open my mouth to defend myself but a soft noise of understanding slips out of Rilla’s mouth before she looks at me, her face an unreadable mask of polite listening once again. I watch as she backs away a step or two before Abigail laughs again throatily.

“Don’t worry, little girl. We weren’t doing anything, just smoking and hanging out. But I’m sure my disappearance bothered him more than he cares to let on,” She looks over at me and taps my cheek fondly.

I swallow back the annoyed words that bubble to the tip of my tongue before I muster up a weak smile at her. Normally I would be all for her twisted teasing and sarcastic one-liners, but tonight it just bothers me. Especially when I see that brief snatch of disappointment flicker across Rilla’s face.

“Are you okay?” Mike is by my side and looking concerned.

I nod, shrugging my shoulders in what I hope comes off as nonchalance. “I’m fine.”

My best friend doesn’t look convinced, but he understands that I don’t want to discuss it with two girls present so he lets it go. He clears his throat and looks at Rilla with a friendly smile. “Hi, I’m Mike. I don’t think we’ve met.”

“Rilla,” She replies, offering him a sweet, shy grin in return and accepting his outstretched hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“How do you know Billie?” He asks conversationally as Tré wanders over to our group.

His eyes immediately light up in recognition as he wraps an arm around her neck. “It’s you from the beach! Where are the twins?” And he looks all around us like they would magically climb out of her pockets or something.

Rilla nods back at Gilman’s carelessly. “They’re inside at the moment, but they’ll probably be out in a few moments. We came down to see you guys play tonight, but we’ll probably head out now that…” She trails off, her cheeks stained a faint pink as we all finish her words in our heads.

“That’s too bad,” Tré eyes the door curiously. “I’d love to see them again; they were cute.”

“Are you sure they aren’t hiding because they saw your face?” Mike asks with a wicked smile and Tré shoots him a nasty look before I feel someone’s gaze burning into me.

I look first at Rilla, but she’s busy smiling at something Tré’s said—for some reason, this bothers me. I want to know what he said that’s made that smile light up her face, but there isn’t time for that. Abigail must be the one looking at me then.

Sure enough, I look by my side to see her watching me closely. She takes one last hit off of her cigarette before she flicks the filter over the chain link fence and blows the smoke behind her lazily.

“Do you want to get out of here, Rock Star? There’s a party in San Francisco that I can get us into,” She raises her eyebrows at me tantalizingly and for a moment, I want nothing more than to say yes and follow her to her jeep where I know she’ll take me away to the party and I can get black-out drunk and forget that any of tonight ever happened.

But then I remember what she did to me last night and a childish lump of resentment wells up in my throat. “Why did you leave last night?” I ask before I can stop myself.

The look of surprise on her face is evident enough as she surveys me coolly. She finally shrugs, scratching at her cheek absentmindedly. “I had things to do—people to see, errands to be completed.”

“You were going to stay the night,” I continue on like she hadn’t spoken. “Were you scared of being with me?”

Her stony face dissolves into amusement as a snort of laughter slips out of her open mouth. “Why would I be scared of you? You’re just the boy in that band, that’s all. I like your company, I didn’t know you were looking for a wife.”

The corners of my mouth curl down and I glower at her darkly. “I’m not looking for a wife; I just want to know why you left without explaining yourself last night. I thought we were doing good—“

“I like to keep a bit of mystery in my relationships,” She announce breezily, shaking her hair back behind her shoulders. “I can’t give away all of my secrets right away, can I? Then what will I use to drive you mad?” Her full red lips fall down into a pout and I resist the urge to reach out and pull her to me.

“Rils!” A loud voice chimes suddenly and the girl in question spins about, searching the sidewalk for the source of noise.

I watch as two identical blondes cross the street and join our group easily. Rilla moves towards them automatically, her head tipped to one side in curiosity. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” The first blonde smiles down at her cheerfully. “We just wanted to know what we’re planning on doing for the rest of the night.” She looks up once she realizes that there are people in the group that are unfamiliar to her. “Hi, I’m Louisa.”

Introductions are made all around before a bit of a silence descends upon us. Abigail fidgets visibly next to me and I revel in her obvious discomfort. It’s almost like it was a small payback for her ditching me last night.

“So are you in, Rock Star?” Her lips brush against my earlobe sensually and I barely suppress the full-body tremor that races over me. “I promise to have you back home at a decent hour so your little friends don’t worry about you.” She doesn’t wait for my answer before she spins around and moves towards the street, her hair billowing softly in the wind.

I’m torn between following after her and just letting her go. Partially because I know that if I go after her, I will find a way to get into her pants and also because my immature side wants to pay her back for just leaving me last night in my apartment.

I didn’t realize I was blatantly staring at Abigail’s ass until the shorter of the twins finally speaks and the spell Abigail managed to weave over me is broken. “I guess we should be leaving then. I’m sorry we weren’t able to see you guys perform,” She glances at all three of us before she makes a face. “Maybe next time?”

“We can come see you at that restaurant,” Rilla interjects softly, looking at me in particular. “What’s the name of it again?”

“Mario’s,” I answer automatically. “We play on Mondays and Wednesdays—I think you guys should definitely come down and check us out.”

She nods, tucking a strand of hair back behind her ear where it drips out and falls back in place in mere seconds. “Maybe we will. We’ll see you guys later—it was a pleasure meeting all of you.” The last bit is directed at both Mike and Tré and they nod seriously, echoing her sentiments earnestly.

I’m quiet as the three of them start off down the street, talking quietly. The briefest snatch of laughter floats back to us and I watch the back of Rilla’s head thoughtfully before I make a split-second decision.

“Beej, where are you going?” Mike asks as I start to jog after them.

Immediately I’m cursing all of the cigarettes and pot that I smoke because my lungs start to burn after just a few yards. I probably look really attractive as I fall in to step alongside Rilla.

I nudge her elbow lightly and she looks at me in fright before she realizes that it’s just me beside her. “What’re you doing?” She asks in amazement, coming to a complete stop which I’m actually really thankful for because I don’t think I can run another step.

“The guys and I are going to go hang out for the rest of the night,” I make a vague motion with my hands as I speak. “Maybe get something to eat or something. Do you want to come with us?”

Rilla glances back at the twins and I watch uncomfortably as all three of them communicate in that silent girl language that I had never been able to master, despite all of my best efforts. Finally she looks back at me and I’m pleased to see that her green eyes are sparkling excitedly. “Sure, what do you want to do?”