Words I Might Have Ate

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October bleeds into November and the leaves change their colors and then drop to the ground. This is my favorite time of the year. The days are sunny and warm and the nights are mild and clear. The fog has lifted from the city and the rainy drizzle that always seems to accompany the summer months has disappeared completely.

“I’m going to work now,” Abigail appears in the doorway of my bedroom with a mug of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other. She’s dressed in a business suit that shows off her endless legs and her long blonde hair is pulled back into a neat twist. “What are your plans for the day?”

I shrug, stretching lazily in the bed and then sprawling out across the warm sheets, sleep still clouding my senses. “I’m not sure yet. I think Hollie wants me to stop by the store to help her with a shipment that came in a few days ago. Her normal truck-guy is on vacation this week.”

“Okay,” Abigail takes a hit from her cigarette and then exhales, the smoke hanging around her head like a wispy halo. “I’m heading up to San Pablo for the night with some of the girls. There’s a party that’s supposed to be ridiculous. Do you want to come up with Mike and Tré later?”

I run my hand down my face and then shrug. “I don’t know. I’ll talk to them.”

“Alright. I’ll see you later then,” She drains the last of her coffee before she clicks her way into the kitchen in her heels. “Oh, by the way, you’re out of coffee filters. You might want to pick some up at the store.”

“Okay, thanks!” I shout back as the sink turns off. I listen to her gather her things together before I hear the tell-tale jingle of her car keys and then the front door shutting firmly behind her.

For the longest time I lay in silence in my bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about how the last few weeks have gotten away from me completely. One minute, I’m storming away from Berkeley University in a huff because Rilla made it very clear that she wanted nothing to do with me and the next, I’m lying next to a gorgeous blonde night after night.

I ran into Abigail on the streets of Oakland and on a sudden impulse, I asked her out for dinner. She had seemed surprised, but she had agreed to the date nevertheless. Mario’s was crowded, but Anthony pulled a table out of thin air and saw that we were taken care of properly. It might have been something in the water and the way her eyes sparkled in the candlelight or it might have been that I was still stinging, still reeling from my disastrous attempt at seeing Rilla, but that night I resolved to give this relationship with Abigail a try.

Much to my chagrin, we quickly realized that we didn’t have anything in common, aside from the generic music and hanging out with friends factor. So we agreed that we would be better off as friends. It’s just too bad that that didn’t work out as she ended up in my bed the first night we hung out together after the date. Honestly I hadn’t planned on things ending up like this, but the way she smirked and flirted and pouted those full, pink lips—I was quickly realizing that I had never liked her for much more than her body. I was in lust with Abigail and my body would always respond to hers. There was a strong physical connection between us and that was the end of it.

Zero hops off of my dresser and lands at the foot of my bed before she curls up next to me on the mattress. “Hey you,” I mumble, reaching down and scratching behind her ears lightly.

She purrs deep in her throat and arches her back into the palm of my hand. I can feel the vibrations of her contentment running throughout her body and I laugh quietly to myself just as the telephone rings in the kitchen.

“Fuck my life,” I mutter, rubbing at my eyes before I swing myself out of bed and stumble into the next room. I crash into the counter, before I throw all of my weight on the support system and then reach out for the receiver. “H’lo?”

“Are you awake, sleepy-head?” Hollie’s cheerful voice rings in my ear and I cringe, silently cursing my sister’s chipper attitude so early in the morning.

I rub at my messy bed-head and resist the urge to roll my eyes. “No, I’m not awake, Hollie. I am talking to you in my sleep right now.”

“Oh that’s unfortunate,” She plays right along with my deadpan humor. “Well when you wake up, be sure to let yourself know I’m ready for you to arrive at the store—freshly showered, shaved and ready to unload. I’ll even buy you lunch as a thank you for helping me out.”

I perk up a bit at her bribe. “Free food? I’m in.”

-X-

Hollie owns a bookstore deep in the heart of Berkeley. The bus ride only takes me twenty minutes and it’s only a few minutes away from the food court of the city—which means that I’ll have pretty much any restaurant to choose from today for lunch. And today I’m feeling like Chinese.

I step down off of the bus and immediately get swept away in the flow of the pedestrians. I make my way down the street with my hands in my pockets until my sister’s bookstore comes into view. I can even spy her little green car parked in the alley next to the store.

The bell above the door jingles cheerfully as I step inside and inhale deeply. It smells musty and old, like always—a scent that will always seem to remind me of my grandmother’s house, no matter how old I get.

Hollie looks up from the counter and a brilliant smile lights up her face. “Hey, you made it.”

“As promised,” I tease, stepping into the store and walking up to the counter.

She hurries around the island before she envelopes me in a tight hug. “Though you didn’t keep good on that shaving promise.”

“I never once promised to shave,” I reply immediately, patting her back lightly before we pull apart. “So where is this shipment?”

Hollie beckons for me to follow her and as we walk, I listen to her explanation. “It’s two separate shipments, but they’re both huge authors. We have both Anne Rice and Stephen King releasing novels this week and the projected sales are going to be huge! So I placed these orders, not really thinking and now-now I don’t think I have enough room for all of these books.”

“Oh come on,” I begin as she opens the storeroom door. “It can’t be that bad—holy shit.”

She wrings her hands and worries down on her lower lip as we both peer into the room. “I know.”

“So just how big were these projected sales?” I ask uncertainly, looking at the number of boxes stacked on top of each other. “Because I feel like I’m looking at enough books to stock several libraries.”

Hollie frowns and then swats at my arm before she clicks on the light and steps into the room. “They’re both huge writers and they’re going to debut to big numbers. I bought enough to cover what I thought my customers would order. Now, here’s what I’m thinking,” She squats down and tugs the first box towards her. “These are Stephen King. I know for sure that I want both of them to share the window display, but I want the Anne Rice novels stocked more towards the counter.”

“I know the drill,” I reply, stretching as the store bell rings faintly from the front of the store. “Go serve your customers. I’ll be fine back here.”

Hollie shoots me a look before she flits off towards the entrance, calling out a welcome. I ignore the exchange that follows as I fold myself down to the floor and rip open my first box. A bunch of purple and black books stare back at me and the words ‘Anne Rice’ in a ghostly white print.

It takes me a while to unpack all of the books and to carefully mark the shipment on the receiving inventory. And then I haul everything to the front of the store and patiently arrange and rearrange the books until they meet my sister’s finicky approval.

It’s nearly one o’clock by the time Hollie appears in the doorway of the storage room. “Are you ready to go to lunch?”

“Yeah,” I straighten up and pull up my pants that have ridden down low because of my constant bending and stretching. I dust off my hands on the back of my jeans as I nod. “I’m ready.”

“Cool,” She nods. “Where did you want to go because I’m thinking—“ The bell chimes once again, signaling the entrance of another customer. “I’m going to go take care of that. Meet me up front when you’re ready to go.”

I wave her away as I finish putting away the paperwork and break down the last couple of cardboard boxes. After depositing the trash in the recycling bin, I turn off the light and make my way to the front of the store. I can hear Hollie talking to someone somewhere among the shelves, so I swing myself up onto the stool behind the counter and begin my search for gum. If I knew my sister at all, I knew that she’d have a stash somewhere.

“Just take it on up to the front and I’ll be up to cash you out in a second,” Hollie’s voice floats towards me and I grab the first stick of gum I spot before I rise up from my seat, intent on hiding out until the store was empty.

“Oh.”

I look up at the sound of a soft, feminine voice and immediately, my heart skips a few beats. She looks tired, but she’s still looking as beautiful as ever in a long skirt and over-sized sweater. Her hair is tucked up into a knit-cap and in her grasp, she holds two thick books. She’s chewing on her lip and she looks terrified, mortified and excited all combined into one.

“Hey.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I’m beating myself up. This is the first time I’ve seen her in weeks and the best I can come up with is ‘hey’?! What is this, the fourth grade? “Uhm, checking out?”

“Yes,” She stammers, blinking rapidly. She looks a little lost as she fumbles with the books in her arms before she deposits the two novels on the counter. “Please,” She adds meekly.

My hands are shaking as I take the first book and punch in the serial number. The book listing appears in little green neon numbers, along with the total, and I reach for the second book. She sees me reaching and hands the book forward.

Our hands brush gently and I jerk back, startled by the sudden spark that is ignited by her soft skin ghosting lightly across my own. Another soft ‘oh’ slips out as she lamely pushes the book towards me and then fidgets with a loose strand of her red hair that frames her face adorably.

“$23.41,” I announce, pleased by the fact that my voice remains level and calm. “Do you want those in a bag?”

“Uh no,” She’s back to jittery again, looking anywhere but at me. “I-I can put them in my bag; it’s fine.”

I nod as I accept her money and punch the total into the register. The drawer pings open and I scoop up her change before I hand the coins back to her and then tuck her receipt under the hardback cover of the first book. “Thanks for stopping by today.”

“Thank you,” She whispers, grabbing her books and bringing them to her chest. “I-I—thanks.” And then she spins about on her heel and rushes from the store, the wind whipping her skirt around her pale, slender legs.

I watch her make her way down the sidewalk through the store’s front window before she disappears from my view. It’s only then that I realize I’m biting down on my lower lip and I’ve risen to my feet, as if that would put me at a better advantage to see her.

I am the epitome of pathetic.

“What did you do to her?”

I whip around, my heart beating wildly in my chest. Hollie is standing behind me with a confused look on her face. “What?” I play stupid, biding for more time.

“That poor girl—she looks like you beat her puppy or something. Where do you know her from?” She repeats herself, stepping closer to me and studying my profile.

“She’s just some girl,” I shrug, trying to sound indifferent. “We hung out once at a party.”

Hollie leans up against the counter as she watches me fumble around for something to occupy my hands. “So did you sleep with her and then never call her or something? I could feel the tension radiating off of the two of you from the back of the store.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” I start to defend myself, but then too late, I realize her trap. “And no, I haven’t slept with her. I’m thinking Chinese for lunch.”

“You can’t change the subject,” Hollie crows delightedly as she locks up the register and pulls her bag out from under the counter. “Tell me more about this girl! It’s been so long since you’ve been in a relationship.”

“There isn’t anything to tell,” I insist as I wait for her to finish closing up the store.

She finally shoulders her bag and then shoos me out of the store so she can lock the door. “You’re going to pursue this, right? She was adorable. Plus you two match with your eyes and your hair—she’s got a cute fashion sense too. And she likes to read obviously! Oh my god, I wonder what kind of music she listens to and what films she watches? Do you think she—“

“She likes comedy,” I reply instantly, my mind going back to that evening spent out on the beach. “Closely followed by scary movies. She likes to laugh. And her favorite band is Aerosmith. She’s creeped out by Steven Tyler’s mouth, but she loves the way he dances up on stage.” There is a bit of a silence following my words and I turn to look at my sister, but she’s stopped walking completely. “Hollie?”

Her eyes are wide and sparkling and she has an excited smile on her face. Immediately I know what’s going through her mind and I flush, turning away and continuing on my way towards the restaurants. “Don’t even say it.”

Hollie runs to catch up with me and when she does, she loops her arm through mine. “I wasn’t going to say anything honestly,” She pauses and then carries on in a wicked tone. “So when’s the wedding?”