Smiling Politely

Lexi woke up the next morning feeling even more confused than she had been the night before. It probably didn't help she had been woken up by someone pounding on the door of the flat. There were at least seven other perfectly capable people in the flat, capable enough to open a door anyway, so why had no one answered?

When she stumbled into the surprisingly tidy living room she realised why. It was empty and there was a note:

'Tidied before work. Boys are at band practice til six. Hope you're feeling better - Kaylah xx'

The door knocked again and she shuffled over to answer it, "You're awfully good at this finding me business."

He smiled lopsidedly and shrugged, his hands in his hoodie pockets, "You might have changed yer number but Kaylah ha'n't."

"You called her?"

"Tom did," he tugged on his grey beanie hat, "Apparently I, uh, wouldn't shut up 'bout ye last night."

She shifted and looked down at her bare feet, "The situation might have been the same over here," she glanced back up at him, "Do you want to come in?"

He nodded and she moved to let him through the door, "I wondered where those jammies went," he smiled.

"They accidentally ended up in with my stuff, promise," she blushed.

They sat either end of the couch, a little awkwardly for two people who had once been as close as two people could be.

"So...," Lexi pulled her legs up underneath her body.

"So I heard yer seein' someone?" he asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

She nodded, might as well cut to the chase, they were never ones for games, "His name is Josh and, uh, he is also a drummer."

"Fancy tha'," he scoffed.

She bit back a small smile, "I deserve that. What about you?"

"No one serious."

"Me and Josh aren't serious," she blurted out, "I mean, it's barely been four months and we don't really see each other that much. Its kind of casual I guess."

Her declaration floated in the air between them before sinking into the cheap beige carpeting at their feet.

"I don't know why I felt the need to tell you that but I've always been honest with you so there's really no point in stopping now."

"S'pose no one can call you a liar, really, really confusing but not a liar," he nodded.

"Called me worse things."

The BMTH fans hadn't exactly been forgiving when they found out Matt had been dumped by his long term girlfriend. After a change of phone number, e-mail address and a deleted myspace it was mostly over but still, it hadn't been the nicest experience.

"Why did you come here Matt?"

He sat back in the couch and turned slightly to face her, "I dunno. Tom called Kaylah las' night and she said ye had been talkin' 'bout us too an' I realised tha' we've probably talked abou' it to everyone 'sept each other."

Lexi nodded, "I guess we really haven't."

She knew it was her fault, she had been the one to leave and completely cut him off.

"I jus' want to know why. I mean we had our moments bu' I wasn't that much of a prick was I?"

She shook her head so fast she thought it might fall off, "No. You really really weren't. I think I just got scared."

"Of me?" he frowned.

"No, of how close we were getting. I guess spending all that time together on Warped then practically moving in, even if it was only for a week. It kind of freaked me out."

"So ye ran away back home?"

She nodded, that was pretty much the sum of it.

He rubbed his hands over his face, "Fuck sake Lex, ye confuse me a' the best of times but this really takes the biscuit."

"Sorry," she mumbled, "Are you mad at me?"

He laughed shortly, "No, nothing you could do would make me mad at you. Really fucking frustrated but not mad."

"Good. I don't want you to be mad at me."

"What do you want?" he asked suddenly.

It was a question she wasn't expecting and one she had been ignoring for the last nine and a bit months. She honestly didn't know what she wanted. But the fact that Josh really hadn't entered her mind since Matt asked about him must have meant something.

She ran her tongue across her bottom lip and studied a faint stain on the carpet that wasn't there yesterday morning, "I really don't know," suddenly her eyes filled with tears and she didn't know why, which seemed to be happening a lot lately, "I wish I did but I don't."

He nodded, leaning forward, elbows on his knees again, "Tha' doesn't really help anythin' does it?"

"Well, what do you want?" she asked, a little indignantly, she might have started this whole thing but he hardly fought for her to come back. She wasn't about to take all the blame.

"I know tha' no one else makes me feel like I do when I'm with you," he laughed at himself, "Tha's the fucking cheesiest thing I've ever said."

She sat quietly, still staring at the stain.

"What're ye doin' tomorrow?" he asked.

"Um," between having just woken up and him being here, her brain was still a bit foggy, "Uh, think I'm working tomorrow night, at six. Another gig."

"That's us."

"Jesus, can't get rid of you," she smiled.

He turned and smiled at her, "Maybe we could hang out before? Go for a walk or something?"

"What so you can get mobbed by fangirls and I can get battered?" she raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed, "There's a little bar a couple of blocks over from the venue, does good food. We could go there?"

She wasn't really sure why she was agreeing to a quasi-date with her ex-boyfriend but she was.

"Yeah, sounds good. I'll just meet you at the club?" he made a move to leave.

She nodded and stood up with him, "Yup. Thanks for coming over, I'm really glad you did."

He shrugged, "Didn't have anything else to do today."

"Oi," she whacked his arm, "That's not nice."

Almost automatically his arms were around her and she was against his chest in a tight hug and she couldn't help herself, she kissed him. Softly and well, lovingly. His hands didn't wander from her waist while hers clung to the front of his hoodie. Her one prevailing thought before they pulled apart was that it didn't feel wrong.

"See you tomorrow."

"Yep," she nodded and closed the door behind him.

What the hell was she going to do now?