Dali

I stood in the center of some alleyway not too far from Beth’s place. The sky was gray, and I stood alone. I’m not trying to describe to you some dark, grim scene, I just trying to setup the story. See, I was walking home from the grocery, minding my own business, when a bunch of gang members decided they felt like mugging me, which was their first mistake.
“What’s in the bag bro?” One of them asked me. I rolled my eyes and sighed.
“Um, pie crust, sweet potatoes, a Snicker’s bar, and the latest issue of Gossip Weekly,” I said. They laughed at that. I smiled. This is was like a training exercise from when I first started. It’s not as hard you might think to take out a group of guys, the trick is to keep them all in your sights at all times, and to make sure you know exactly how many there are. Now is not the time for surprises. There were five of them. The leader character was standing in the back; they never get their hands dirty unless they need to. The one closest to me was the new guy; they’re always the ones trying to prove how tough they are. Most people would think the right thing to do is to use him as a shield and inch out of there. This would be your mistake. Since he’s the new guy, no one is going to hesitate shooting him and you. Another mistake is thinking that they’ll kill you if you fight back. It’s a lot harder to get rid of a dead body than most think, and a small gang like this one wouldn’t make such a mistake. The new guy and another member inched towards me. Now was the time to strike. I swung one of the grocery bags into the new guy. He caught it, which gave me time to strike while he was off guard. The other bag in my hand met the side of his face. He fell to the floor, along with the crumbs that were my pie crust. The leader scoffed. He sent the other two, one was tall and lanky and the other was average looking, at me. The tall one threw a fist at me. I maneuvered around it and kneed him in the stomach. He fell to the floor also. The last two looked at me somewhat worried.
“Kill him!” The leader cried. I took a deep breath. I may be Jakob Dali, but I can’t dodge bullets. They pulled out guns, and started firing immediately. I tossed myself to one side, and grabbed a gun off the new guy. I shot one in the leg, which made him fall into the other one, who caught him. That’s all I needed. I stood up and raised a gun at the two of them. There was a noise, and another gun was loaded and aimed at me. The leader held the gun at me. “Put it down,” he said.