Dear Juliet, Let Me Play A Secondhand Serenade

It was eight o'clock in the evening when I practically floated my way to my room, a huge smile plastered on my face. I walk past my parents and my sister, heading straight for my room. Even though I was stilly fully dressed in my favorite black Element shirt, denim jeans and black converse, I still crashed on my bed and just stayed there while staring at the ceiling.

"Lois, are you eating dinner?" my mom calls from the kitchen.

"No mom. I'm gonna sleep already."

I hear the scraping of plates and shuffling outside my door. The people are probably calling a night as well. I close my eyes and think about what happened in the past hour.

My mom called and told me that she was fetching me at my friend, Marie's, house and although I wasn't really staying with Marie, I said ok. I was actually with Trix, or Patrick. He was this guy that I really REALLY liked but we were just friends. Trix and I were talking and waiting for my mom outside Marie's house (Trix and Marie are neighbors).

"So Lois, uhm...why didn't you tell Marie you were here?" he asked.

"I did but she said she was going out with her cousins but I wanted to drop by anyway", I smiled.

So Patrick and I talked while I was staring at the stars. I didn't want to look him in the eye in fear of telling him how I felt. He didn't know though. Everybody just thought that I like the stars.

"I can't take it anymore", he groaned and I looked at him in shock.

We were talking about pancakes and this is his response?!

Then he looked up at me and I saw this pained expression in his eyes. I just wanted to move closer to him and give him a hug to make him feel better but I held back because he might push me away.

However, he looked at me straight in the eyes and before I knew it, our faces were only inches apart and I could feel his hot breath on my skin. The way his chocolate brown eyes sparkled had me lost in his gaze and as much as I loved looking in his eyes, I closed my own and our lips touched.

I thought the feeling was only in the movies but I felt it. The whole world slowed down and my heart was the only thing racing. His hand touched my face and still, our lips moving in unison with each other. It felt like forever and I didn't want to move but he pulled away. He stood up and walked away, leaving me breathless, shocked and hurt. In his place was a note that wasn't there before.

It said:
"You might get in trouble being seen with me but I want you to know I really like you."

So Patrick, the guy I really REALLY liked was my first kiss. With that thought, I drifted to a deep sleep.

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The next day, I was still floating when I got to school. The smile was still there as well. I sat in my usual seat, copied notes and did everything I normally did in school. Everything except talk. I was just smiling like an idiot and after four periods, my best friends Trish and Lena were pissed.

They pushed me to a corner in the classroom and started throwing questions but in my head, all I could see was his eyes and all I could hear was his voice. Until Lena hit me hard.

"Ow! Lena! What the hell?!"

"Trish and I have been screaming at you for almost five minutes and you just stare and space out! What's wrong with you?"

"Let's just say I had the best weekend ever."

So I push my way through them and walk towards the balcony from the lab. Marie was there waiting for me and we sat down. She started talking about how her cousins always boss her around but she noticed I wasn't listening.

"Lois, what happened between you and Patrick?"

The sound of his name jerked me out of a trance and I looked at Marie's serious expression.

"Nothing happened. I swear by my puppy's life nothing happened."

"I saw you sitting outside my house and I know you like him Lois but please. I don't think you should stay away from him. I've known him for a WAY longer time than you. I just don't want to see you hoping for nothing."

"I like him and he said he likes me but I never told him that. I don't want him to think I'm an easy catch. Don't worry Marie. I won't fall for him that easily."

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It was Friday again and classes ended an hour early. I was sitting in my last period when Lena and Trish moved their chairs on either side of my own.

"We know about you and Patrick. We know you two kissed. We know that you two like each other."

I just rolled my eyes and took down notes while my two friends chattered away about Trix and I. Until they became unbearable.

"Okay. We kissed and do like each other but it didn't mean anything. It won't mean anything. It was an innocent kiss and it will never happen again because next week, we have finals and then it's summer. He doesn't even know that I like him", I say matter-of-factly.

So they leave me alone as I walk home. When I was far enough away, I pulled out a rose from my bag. I started taking out the petals one at a time.

"Does he love me? Does he love me not?"

I felt my phone vibrate and I take it out of my pocket just in time with the last petal.

"Hey Lois. Uhm...I'm leaving this summer. I'm not coming back anymore and...don't look for me...find someone else."

And he hung up.

Tears fell down my face and I whispered, "He loves me not."