Secret, Secret

01 enthrall
It is absolutely the most cliché way to start out a story, but ‘those deep, chocolate brown eyes’ captivated Jude from the start.

02 chance
Just having the chance to call that gorgeous tousle of blonde hair, those curves-in-all-the-right-places, those eyes and that smile his (sister) was something no living creature would ever want to pass up.

03 meet
When he first saw her—with her mother, wearing sweats, and protesting at an AIDS awareness march, no less—all he could think about was how he wanted to touch her in ways he was sure she’d never been touched before; vegetarian activists who wear glasses are virgins roughly…100% of the time (according to a recent study).

04 wind
He wanted to wind down, shoot some whiskey (and some pool, though he wasn’t sure of the effect the former would have on the latter) and forget about Shiloh.

05 harm
Granted, his mind was telling him that it ‘would only harm everyone’s reputations around him’, that it ‘was no big deal at all and so worth having sex with someone that beautiful, even if she was about to be his new step-sister’.

06 dust
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and suddenly his own mother was gone, sprinkles of dirt falling like rain atop her collector’s edition box with not a single scratch on it.

07 wise
He thought he was being wise by keeping his face stolid until he realized he actually couldn’t feel anything that mo(u)rning, let alone sadness or anger.

08 exact
Jude’s father decided that it was time to start dating the girl on the side a short time after the complete emotional numbness had infected his bloodstream; so short, in fact, that he couldn’t remember any exact moments where he actually saw his father’s grief.

09 jugular
He felt like slitting his throat when he met Shiloh’s mother.

10 flesh
However, because he wanted to let his coarse but gentle fingers feel every last inch of her snowy curves—regardless of whether or not they were siblings-to-be, he refrained from any drastic, life-ending measures.

11 glow
She had a glow sort of radiating about her every step; it glimmered in her eyes and ignited a fire somewhere in him too deep to call his belly.

12 flush
That florid color in her cheeks that looked just a bit pinker than a sunset made the smoldering urge to commit incest increase tenfold.

13 scrape
Jude scraped together every single thing in his bedroom that reminded him of his mother, setting them all down into the small, empty jewelry chest like they were his own newborn.

14 string
It became a ‘brown paper package tied up with string’; he refused to pack his memoirs of the only mother figure he could ever see himself loving into a regular cardboard moving box.

15 tingle
The homey, comfortable environment of Shiloh’s (and unfortunately, her mother’s) house gave Jude an unequivocal feeling of belonging, but it felt like a mere child’s emotions next to the tingle he felt in the very tips of his fingers—spreading through his body like molasses—when she shook his hand in a welcoming gesture.

16 meaning
He could not decide the meaning behind her handshake, but he was caught between A) a certainty that she planned to remain a virgin until marriage and definitely wanted nothing to do with him, and B) a necessity in order to maintain the secrecy of what was to be nothing short of a Romeo and Juliet relationship (but without the death at the end, he hoped).

17 discourse
The only real discussions that the two of them had shared save for polite introductions were…well, come to think of it, he couldn’t recall ever really talking to Shiloh outside of his dreams.

18 burst
A sudden disconnection of hands and eyes completely burst his bubble and stopped his absentminded train of thought.

19 fight
There was no way to fight the urge he had for her; not only did it follow him everywhere, even places she was not, it also thundered somewhere deep inside of him, tearing him apart slowly each day that he still could not talk to her.

20 warmth
His dreams were still the only place where he could steal away and feel the warmth of her pale body pressed up against his.

21 loose
Shiloh stood in the corner; she had just gotten her golden hair pinned up into loose curls for her mother’s second wedding, and was now contemplating all of the strange signals she had gotten from her soon-to-be step-brother.

22 tangle
All of her thoughts were just one big tangled web; she was sure (or at least she tried to convince herself) that he meant nothing by it besides a willingness to be friends, but what about that tiny part of her who knew the truth?

23 pliant
Rules in her mother’s household were not pliant, and there would be a harsh punishment for an infraction, were she to let her guard down and explore her opportunities.

24 glitter
But should she choose the path she was leaning toward, that innocent glitter in her eyes would vanish in lieu of something far more seductive.

25 curve
Speaking of seduction, she felt a hand on her waist, and even from that simple contact she was able to determine that it was Jude; no one else’s touch had ever caused such a hunger inside of her (screw legality, she wanted to act on it).

26 chapped
Upon finding herself alone in the darkened corner with Jude, she turned around and pressed her lips up to his, only to find from his wind-chapped face that he must have been outside.

27 delirium
Had she really gone crazy?

28 sting
The sting in her eyes as mascara ran down her face was enough to make her believe that she wasn’t far from hearing voices and seeing things that weren’t there.

29 crumble
She wanted to press herself up against the wall and slide down it like those girls on T.V. when they are too overwhelmed to think about anything else; she wanted to crumble like ancient cities and be forgotten in the dust.

30 gold
Jude wanted to reassure Shiloh that she did not need to worry, that he would treat her better than the finest gold jewelry, and that he would be there for her no matter what happened.

31 imprint
She had been indelibly etched on the surface of his heart even now after this one kiss, and yet he could not seem to take her pain away.

32 vain
He was almost too vain to keep this a secret, and he knew that would be his downfall; he wanted everyone in the world to know that he was a little more than addicted to Shiloh Turner (well, it would be Covington in about twenty minutes).

33 swallow
Jude managed to swallow his pride for long enough to keep his voice a hushed whisper.

34 defiance
“Are you so afraid of what we could have that you’re unwilling to defy your mother, or is it the other way around?”

35 crack
“I’m afraid that I’ll crack and tell her everything and this chance at a beautiful…something that we have would be completely ruined and it would be completely my fault; I don’t want to let you down, Jude.”

36 ringing
As wedding bells chimed, the two teenagers raced to get into their places for the ceremony, not wanting to let go of each other and embrace the loneliness of the outside world.

37 devil
Shiloh’s mother glared at her like she had just been possessed by the devil.

38 alarm
“I’m sorry, your alarm must not have gone off or something, because I was under the impression that everything was supposed to go perfectly for my special day, and you’re late!”

39 heat
Shiloh felt the heat in her cheeks as she stared at the floor, more embarrassed at disappointing her mother than anything else.

40 light
She lit her votive candle, wiping any makeup off her face that Jude hadn’t taken care of while holding her so closely (he must have been an angel to make her feel so good in the middle of a breakdown).

41 flurry
When she thought of Jude, it was like all of her senses were catapulted to a new high; she could see each individual snowflake that flurried by outside the stained glass windows.

42 ache
She walked down that aisle holding her mother’s gigantic train for her, and as they both gradually approached the altar she knew her arms were going to kill tomorrow morning.

43 swell
But despite the pain she felt in her head from the swell of confusion and the pain she felt in her arms from carrying that fabric confection and the pain she felt in her heart from not being able to reveal her want (no, need) for Jude, Shiloh held her head high and smiled as wide as she knew how.

44 pulse
Her pulse quickened (out of love and fear and so many other emotions) when she felt his eyes scanning her subtly from the groom’s side.

45 lungs
As their parents both said “I do”, Shiloh took a deep breath and glanced over to Jude, who was smiling wider than she was, although she knew it wasn’t because he was excited to inherit her mother.

46 flicker
She saw that flicker of anticipation she felt mirrored in his eyes; it lifted her up and made her feel like she could soar.

47 ember
The wedding party walked back down the aisle, and the smoldering embers of their earlier embrace sparked up again when their hands met.

48 bones
How they would manage to hide their attraction while living together in one house, they did not know.

49 crave
However, this much they knew: the craving they felt for each other, both emotionally and physically, could not be quelled.

50 cherry
Shiloh and Jude gave up on being worried about the troubles that might lie ahead of them and they danced, holding each other close as he kissed her cherry cheek: the perfect cliché happily ever after.