Sinners and Saints

Silently, without making any sounds, I sat on my bed, rocking forth and back. My heart was broken, my brain wasn`t functionating. I didn`t even blink once and I didn`t even reply to my mom when she asked if I wanted to eat. Suddenly I felt like doing something terribly wrong. I would probably never forget myself after that. Without hesitating I hopped off my bed and took the scissor off my desk. My parents were having dinner downstairs, they left me alone `cause they knew I was down, they just didn`t knew why. Walking carefully through the hall I mentioned Ash`s cellphone on the floor. I picked it up and looked at her background, it was a pic of us hugging each other. I felt dirty, I had sex with that bitch. I held Ash`s cell tightly in my hand and made my way to the bathroom. I slammed her cell in the bathtub and slipped down onto the floor. This was gonna hurt for a bit, but way less than what Ash did to me. I took off my jacket and bit on the sleeve, without looking I slowly put the scissor to my arm and slightly cut my wrist. 'OH FUCK.' I screamed out. 'Honey you okay? What are you doing?' Mom was standing down the stairs. She scared the fuck out of me, and I accidentally cut deeper into my wrist. My head was already spinning.. My wrist sting and tears were fulling my eyes; such a wonderful way to die. I couldn`t help but to start crying again. 'Nikki?' I heard a sigh and a closing door, finally she left.

I sat there, it felt like I was high, staring at the ceiling, covered in my blood. This would be it. The final cut. My eyes burned of all the crying, but I didn`t care. I leaned my head back and stabbed the knife into my lower arm, deep enough to bleed to death...