Sinners and Saints

I held Ash tight, tried to comfort her as she cried into my shoulder, what did I do? I broke the two up, I got in between. I never wanted this to happen, why am I so selfish? I wasn`t honestly bi, I just wanted to know how it felt. She`s a good kisser, that for sure, but I wasn`t bi. It felt good to kiss her, yet no butterflies. Although, it may not be true, but it seemed like she did enjoy my 'rape' at least I did. I ran my hands through her hair and pulled the sheets over us. She was exhausted, not just off the sex, but also the tears and angriness made her sad. It was already pretty late, and I hope Nikki has cooled down, I don`t want her to hurt Ash when she gets home. If she even wants to go home.

I woke up and saw Ash was gone. 'Ash?' I sat up and looked around. So she did went home. While sighing I tried to pull myself up and walk to the door. I stared into nothing, and thought it would be a good idea to apologize for my sin. As I put on my jacket and shoes I opened the door and walked through the drizzling rain, on my way to Ash and Nikki.

With a smack against the wall I ended in front of their house. 'Oh.. I already asked Ash 5 times to remove the damn skateboard.' I wanted to knock on the door, but saw Ash sitting at the kitchen table. She was crying and her dad was holding her. Without noticing, I opened the door and now I had a better view of her dad, he was crying too. 'It`s okay Ash, it`s n-' He looked up and wiped his tears. 'Ash...' She turned. It was awful, her hair was a little greasy and hang in her face, her eyes were red like blood and her skin was paler than the tiles of the kitchenfloor. 'What.. Happened?' I asked looking at Ash, then her dad then at the floor. No words were spoken for a few minutes, but then her dad broke the silence. 'Lexy... Nikki has... Ended her life.' That same moment Ash broke down in tears again and she sobbed into her dads shoulder. 'It would be better for you to leave.' He said not looking away from his daughter. I turned around and left the house. I didn`t leave the yard, I stayed there, leaning against their shed. 'I did this.' I kept saying. No one could say it wasn`t my fault, `cause it surely was. What the fuck did I do? 'Greed.' I repeated a few times after that. I was a sinner.