Sinners and Saints

I sat against my door, hyperventalating and thanking someones god that Nikki wasn't home. God, who knew it was possible to be this confused. I don't even know what I feel anymore. I've always loved Nikki, she's the center of my world...but Lexy...she makes me feel awake. Self pity isn't really my thing so I get up and take out Bones, our dog. Being dragged down a sidewalk does wonders for the soul. Not to mention tears up your new shoes. "Bones! Heel!" I shout probably waking up the neighbors. Oh well, whos sleeping at midnight anyways. My shouts are lost on his pointy ears. So much for doggy hearing. Music is coming from down the street, probably from Maddy's house. Girl likes to party. She, however, doesn't ever feel the need to invite me. Doesn't matter though, she's a shallow bitch. I can't see how Nikki stands her. As I walk down the street my thoughts are confirmed. Maddy's having yet another party. I laugh. I'm rambling. My own thoughts are rambling. Is this what I've come too? A rambling idiot everytime something bad happens? Bone whines and I frown. "Who asked you?" I say looking down at his small black and white head. He looks back at me. "Ok Bones, we can go home." I say tugging him towards our house. As I open the door my parents door opens. "Ash! Where have you been? It's one thirty in the morning!" my mom yells down the stairs. "Bones had to go out so we went for a walk." I shout back, rolling my eyes. She considers this for a second then steps back into her room and closes the door. I sigh. Crisis adverted again. Thank god for Bones.