As the Sister of Harry Potter

I couldn’t get a decent nights sleep. I haven’t been able to since the broom closet incident. Every dream was a nightmare, and I couldn’t figure out how to get rid of them. I knew Lance was causing them, but I couldn’t riddle out how. I also couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t in the closet moments after he had thrown me out. I knew it all was real, but I also knew you couldn’t Apparate inside Hogwarts. For now, I stuck to the story that he had cast a Disillusionment Charm, but I wasn’t even sure about that. But I couldn’t think about it much. We had pranks to pull, essays to write, and Quidditch members to replace, not to mention DA to run and the fact that Umbridge was beginning to crack down.

A couple nights after the closet incident and the night before our latest prank was due to go into action, Umbridge found me studying in the Library with Cedric, Jared and Sarlanda.

“Miss Potter, would you come with me please?”

I sighed, packed up my bag, and followed Madame Toad out of there. Sarlanda gave me a look like this was the last time she’d see me.

Umbridge lead me down a floor and into her office. I had been in there before, and I guess I had never paid much attention previously, but I sure noticed this time, and I almost hurled upon sight. It was completely pink, with frills and doilies everywhere. One wall was covered in plates, each with a different kitten on them.

“Sit down,” she said, pouring tea for each of us in pink cups. “You drink tea?”

“Not often,” I replied stiffly. What the hell did she want with me? She just smiled horribly and pushed the cup into my hands. I sniffed it gingerly. It smelled normal, anyways.

“Drink up dear,” she insisted. My right hand clenched tightly as something Moody had said popped into my mind, showing my hand scars.

“Don’t drink anything the enemy offers you.”

Well, the Madame Toad was certainly my enemy. I pretended to take a sip. Then she said, “Well Jennifer, how is school going? Good marks in all classes?”

“Yeah, pretty much straight O’s,” I said, raising my eyebrows.

“That’s good… now, do you know of any of the going-ons of these Marauders?”

“Oh, them? No, haven’t the foggiest,” I said dismissively. I pretended to look at her, but really I was looking over her shoulder to the wall behind her. In a case and chained to the wall were Fred and George’s Cleansweeps, and Harry’s Firebolt. I gripped the arm of my chair tightly to prevent my temptation of reaching for my wand. ‘Don’t do anything thick-headed,’ I reminded myself.

“Drink up my dear,” she said sweetly, and I took another pretend sip. “Really? Because I’ve noticed you miss a lot of meals.”

“I’m studying. How else am I supposed to keep my grades? I can barely keep up in Transfiguration.”

She masked a grimace with another froggie smile and said, “Oh, of course. Now, you haven’t noticed any suspicious activities going on?”

I sighed dramatically. “Professor, I’m Quidditch Captain, not Head Girl. The most suspicious activities I see are Slytherins trying to hex the my team. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have two essays I need to finish.” I set down the cup, stood up and picked up my bag.

Umbridge looked displeased, but said, “Thank you Miss Potter. Good day.” And I stalked out of the room.

In my dorm, I began the nightly process of emptying my pockets as Ophilia questioned me. The quill I had broken in Trans, the fake DA Galleon, (Hermione’s idea, which I admit was simply brilliant) a couple of Stinkpellets, and my wand.

“…and Sarlanda said Umbridge pulled you out of the Library, what was that about?”

What she said didn’t register, because I said, “We’re going to have to set off the prank from the Great Hall.”

She blinked several times, alarmed. “What? Why? What’s going on Jennifer?”

“Umbridge is getting suspicious. She pulled me out of the Library asking about the Marauders and why I was missing so many meals.” Ophilia’s chocolate eyes widened in shock. “Oh, I didn’t tell her anything,” I added, “but we need to be more careful. So we need to set if off in the Hall during breakfast.”

Ophilia shut her mouth, swallowed and nodded. “Okay. I’ll tell the others.” She left and I threw myself down on my bed, exhausted.

-

I stumbled to the Great Hall the next morning. I had enjoyed another night of nightmares, this one involving Sarlanda being barbecued by a Hungarian Horntail. I had downed four cups of coffee and was starting of my fifth when George joined me. “You are such a caffeine addict,” he chortled.
“You would be too if you got as l—l—little sleep as me,” I yawned as Lee and Sophia joined us. Umbridge was scanning the Great Hall with her beady eyes as usual. When she saw me, she looked both pleased and aggravated.

Outside the Great Hall, there was a great crash that echoed itself all throughout the castle. Then, a tidal wave of screaming students (lead by Ophilia and Fred) came running into the Hall. Following behind was every suit of armor in Hogwarts, their hollow metal feet thundering and clanking on the stone floor. By this time, every student and teacher was on their feet, screaming and panicking. The suits of armor jumped on the tables, sending goblets flying and food spilling. When the armors stood in a straight line on each house table and the staff table, they stopped moving.

The hall was silent. Then a Hufflepuff boy asked, “Is it over?”

Discreetly as I could, I pointed my wand at the nearest armor and whispered, “Piertotum Locomotor Humorous.” The armors sprang to life again, and the chaos recommenced. But instead of attacking like everyone thought, the armors started table-dancing a sort of thing between an Irish Jig and the Can-Can, whilst singing:

“We’re knights of the Round Table!
We dance when ‘er we’re able,
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable!
We dine well here in Camelot
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot!”

“STOP! STOP! Finite Incatatem!” screamed Umbridge, but Ophilia had cast her charms well. They only sang louder.

“We’re knights of the Round Table!
Our shows are formidable!
But many times, we’re given rhymes
That are quite un-sing-able!
We’re opera mad in Camelot
We sing from the diaphragm a lot!”

“Immobulus!”

Umbridge was still screaming counter-curses, but nothing worked. By now, nearly everyone was keeping beat by clapping and a few braver students got on the tables and joined in. “SILENCIO!!!” Madame Toad shrieked, but still, nothing happened.

“We’re knights of the Round Table!
Although we live a fable,
We’re not just bums
With royal mums
We’ve brains that are quite able!
We’ve a busy life in Camelot!”

“I have to push the pram a lot!” sounded the armor in the center of the staff table. The armors finished dancing and bowed deeply, met by cheers and applause. Umbridge looked livid. Professor McGonagall looked irritated, but there was a trace of a smile on her face.

She waved her wand and said, “Return to your posts.”

The armors obeyed, jumping off the tables and clanking out of the Hall. One armor stopped in the doorway however, turned around, and pulled up its’ helmet visor. Out of it boomed Fred’s voice.

“This program of the Hogwarts Enchanted Armor singing Knights of the Round Table has been brought to you by the Marauders. We hope you enjoyed it and send in your comments!”

-

That night was a very good night for fan mail. We got around fifty each. The six of us sat in Sarlanda’s dorm while a large supply of Butterbeer and celebrated our last big prank before Christmas. We were dreaming up more pranks where a large purple envelope popped into the air in the middle of the circle. Lee picked it up and opened it. “Well Lee? What’s it say?” Ophilia asked. Lee cleared his throat and read it out loud.

“Dear Misters Matrix, Terminator, Palm Tree and Misses Phoenix, Skulls and Kumquat, AKA The Marauders,

I greatly enjoyed your display in the Great Hall this morning. Most amusing and novel.

I expect your acts of humor to only get better once break is over. You are all very talented, and I am proud to have such brilliant students in my school. I expect your would give the original Marauders a run for their money.

Enjoy your holidays and plan much,

Albus Dumbledore.”

“How –” I started, confused.

Ophilia cracked into a huge grin and said, “It’s Dumbledore mate.”

-
The night of our final DA lesson before Christmas break I stumbled into the Room of Requirement, closely followed by Ron, Launa and Katie. We were all disgruntled, tired, cold, splattered with muddy snow, and seeking warmth. Harry and Hermione greeted us.

“We’ve replaced you,” I told Harry as I flopped down onto a cushion.

“Who?”

“Ginny.”

Harry looked surprised.

“She’s not you, of course, but she’s pretty good,” Katie reassured him.

“Who did you get for Beaters?” Hermione asked.

“Andrew Kirke and Jake Sloper,” said Ron without enthusiasm.

“Zey’re noting like Fred and George, but compared to ze ozers zat showed up…” Launa’s voice trailed away as she shook her head.

As more people arrived, I noticed the room as decorated. Dobby must have done the honors, because mistletoe and round golden baubles with either mine or Harry’s face on them hung everywhere, bearing the words, “Have A Very Harry Christmas!” Once everyone had arrived, Harry and I stood at the front to get things going.

“Okay,” said Harry once everyone had quit talking, “so since this is our last lesson before break, we’ve decided we aren’t going to teach you anything new.”

Several people groaned.

“But you’re all getting really good, so after break we’re going to start more advanced stuff. Maybe even Patronuses,” I hinted, raising everyone’s spirits.

“But for now, everyone split up. We’ll do Impedimenta for ten minutes, then we’ll work on Stunning again.”

The lesson went really well. Neville’s aim improved so much that he was now hitting the person next to the person he was aiming for only half the time. Ginny and Luna Lovegood were among the first to master Stunning, and Brittany Chang beamed at me every time she saw me. Ever since our talk, she had cheered up quite a bit. Leaving Charms one day, I witnessed Cyliana White, one of her ex-friends, calling her a whorey-cow. The next time I saw Cyliana was a week later after she spent that time in the Hospital Wing, recovering from Brittany’s hex.

Nine o’clock came fast as always. “Alright, before you all go, I’d like to issue a warning.” Everyone started intently at me. ‘I wish they wouldn’t do that,’ I thought. “Umbridge is interrogating suspicious students. She did me last week and Sarlanda two nights ago. So, be careful, and if she does interrogate you, don’t drink anything she gives you. When I was there, I was under the impression she had put Veratiserum in my tea. So… constant vigilance.”

I nodded, and Harry said, “So, have a great holiday everyone, and we’ll tell you when the next meeting will be as soon as we know.”

-

Ron, Hermione and I waited for Harry in the common room that night. We had left him alone in the Room with Cho Chang, and just when I was beginning to wonder if she had eaten him alive, he entered. He sat down across from us and just stared at the floor, apparently too stunned to say anything.

“Well?” asked Ron.

“Did she kiss you?” I inquired.

Slowly, Harry nodded.

Ron punched the air and said, “I knew it!” I caught myself just in time to prevent myself from making a nasty face. “How was it?” Ron asked.

“Wet,” Harry finally admitted. I snorted, but Ron looked confused. “She was crying,” Harry clarified.

“Crying? Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious Ron?” asked Hermione. When all he did was look at her dumbfound, she continued. “I mean,” she glanced quickly at me, “she’s mad at Jennifer for dating Cedric, and Jen’s Harry’s sister, so that must be confusing. She can’t work out if she likes Harry or Cedric better. Then she’ll be guilty for kissing Harry, and she’ll be scared of everyone’s reactions if she starts dating Harry, especially Jennifer’s. She probably can’t figure out her feelings for Harry anyways because he was mixed up with that whole thing with Cedric in the maze. Oh, and she’s worried she’ll get thrown off the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team because she’s been flying so badly.”

The silence after Hermione’s speech was broken by Ron. “One person can’t feel all that at once! They’d explode!”

“Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have,” Hermione snapped. This comment left me rolling on the floor laughing and Ron glaring daggers.

“Well, Ha-Ha-Harry, if you do date he-he-he-her, I promise to be nice.” I picked myself up off the floor and left for my dorm, still laughing.

-

The next thing I knew, it was past midnight and Professor McGonagall was shaking me awake. “Ugh. Wazzup McGonagall?”

“Get out of bed and come with me.”

“Wha, why?” I asked as I followed her out of my dorm, still in my PJ’s.

“Arthur Weasley has just been attacked.”