As the Sister of Harry Potter

Diana Clymus Chang was all the seventh year population could talk about the first week of April. Brittany spent all her free time and most her meals in the Hospital Wing with Diana. When Brittany wasn’t there, Ophilia, Cho or I was, tending to her. She was so sweet. Curious, dark eyes, perfectly round face, tan skin, and a small tuft of dark hair. Outside the Hospital Wing, there was usually a small crowd of students trying to catch a glimpse of Diana. It was rather annoying.

I ended up in detention for another week with Umbridge for disobeying her. She was livid about it, making me carve “I must not question authority” into my hand from seven until one in the morning sometimes. I left each night bleeding like mad, and I swear I hit bone on the last night, but it didn’t matter. Try as she might, I left each night with my teeth gritted in satisfaction, the satisfaction that I had helped out Brittany and that little Diana was in the world now. Umbridge could never take that from me.

With no DA, I had to put every bit of my focus into Quidditch and studying for N.E.W.T.’s. With the weather warming up, all the seventh and fifth years had become increasingly agitated with pre-exam stress. Harry in particular had become very distracted lately, and I was determined to find out why. His moods were really puzzling.

The second week of April was Easter break, so we got a lot of prank planning done in between studying. We finished brewing Shrinking Solution and its counter-potion, placed deflated and hidden whoopee cushions on several of Umbridge’s chairs, and planned out several pranks for the rest of the month. But something else was nagging my mind; Fred and George. They had been off by themselves a lot lately, and from my experience, this meant they were up to something. But this just wasn’t like them. Even Lee and Ophilia had no clue.

The final night of Easter holidays, Ophilia and I came back from the Library after a particularly laborious session of Charms studying. We found most the fifth years in the common room, pouring over brightly coloured pamphlets. One look at the notice board told us everything that we needed to know.

“Ah,” I said.

“Career Advice,” Ophilia finished.

“This thing is so annoying!” Ron complained. “I can’t find anything I want to do!”

“Be an Auror with Harry,” I suggested. “But you’ll want to have some sort of idea, because McGonagall doesn’t like joking around.”

“Why, what did you tell her?” Harry asked, flipping through a Gringotts pamphlet.

“I told her I wanted to conquer the world with flying monkeys,” I said matter-of-factly. Harry snorted while Hermione raised her eyebrows. “What? I had no idea what I wanted to do in fifth year!”

“Well, do you know now?”

“Yeah. I want to teach defense here at Hogwarts.”

Hermione looked mildly surprised. “Really? I thought you’d want to be an Auror.”

“Nah, I hate the Ministry. The only one who wants to go there is Sarlanda; she wants to be an Unspeakable.”

“What about you Ophilia?” Ron asked.

“I’m probably gonna go help Fred and George run their joke shop when they get it running.”

“Speaking of jokes, have you seen Hyden?” I asked.

“He’s up in the dorm,” replied Harry, and I set off up to their dorm. Hyden was indeed there, messing around with his guitar.

“Oi Hyden, you and me for announcements tomorrow morning, okay?” I said, popping my head in the door.

“Kay,” he said, and I shut the door and started back downstairs. As I passed Fred and George’s dorm, I paused, back tracked, and knocked on the door.

“Yeah?” came a twinly voice from within.

“Can I come in? It’s Jen.” The door swung open, so I entered.

George was the only one there, laying flat on his back on his bed, staring blankly up into the canopy above. I shut the door behind me and sat on his bed facing him, knees pulled up to my chin, eyebrows furrowed. There were a few moments of silence before I stated, “You’re hiding something from us.”

“What?” George asked, sitting up.

So I repeated, “You and Fred are hiding something from the rest of us. What is it?”

He looked down shiftily as I glanced around. His and Fred’s beds were the cleanest I had ever seen them. In fact, everything they owned must have been in their trunks.

“Are you… leaving?” I asked, both curious and shocked. All he did was look back up and into my eyes, but I knew the answer. “You are, aren’t you?”

“Jen, you can’t expect us to stay. The only reasons we came back this year were Mum and Dumbledore. But now with that hag running things… I mean, it’s not like we’re going to need N.E.W.T. scores if we’re going to be self-employed.”

“But… we need you. The Marauders need you. Hogwarts needs you,” I pleaded miserably, sadness bubbling in my chest. “Hogwarts without you two… it’s like an ice cream sundae without the chocolate sauce, like waffles without bacon and peanut butter, like Quidditch without Bludgers. It just doesn’t happen.”

George smiled slightly at my analogies. “The rest of you will be able to continue pranking without us. And it’s not like you’ll never see us again,” he added. A few tears welled up in my eyes, but I blinked them back. George pulled me to him in a reassuring and secure hug. “Just promise me one thing.”

“Sure,” I mumbled.

“Make sure to drive that miserable old toad crazy for us.”

-

“Good morning everyone! This is Miss Phoenix!”

“And Mr. Rockstar. And we’re delivering your daily announcements!”

“Well, we hope you had a good holiday! We tried to give all you N.E.W.T. and O.W.L. students a good study time and planned over the break. But now we’re back to full-scale pranking. And now Mr. Rockstar would like to share another song with us!”

“Alright, I call it ‘Stick it to Dolores’.”

“We don’t care for your
Defense Against the Dark Arts class
You undermine our intelligence
We won’t take anymore of this,

Oh my god, you look like a frog,
Oh my god, you look like a frog,
Oh my god, you look like a frog,
Oh my god, you look like a frog,

Umbridge, you’re going down
Umbridge, you’re going down
Umbridge, you’re going down

Your educational decrees
Are not welcome in our halls
You’ll never take the place
Of Albus Dumbledore

Oh my god, you look like a frog,
Oh my god, you look like a frog,
Oh my god, you look like a frog,

Umbridge you’re going down
Umbridge you’re going down
Umbridge, we’re taking you down.”

“Have a good day everyone! Phoenix and Rockstar, signing off!”

-

The bell rang at the end of Arithmancy, indicating dinner. I packed up my books and Jared and I left, chattering worriedly. “I’m never going to pass that bloody N.E.W.T.,” Jared grumbled. “Why I continued, I haven’t a clue…”

“Oh, come off it, Jared. It could be worse, I haven’t got half a clue what we did in Trans today,” I commented as we started down the Grand Staircase. As we passed the fifth floor, we heard screaming and running, the usual sounds of chaos. Without a moments hesitation, we pelted down the corridor.

We hit the crowd of students at the east wing. Pushing past several people, we discovered the front row of students was covered in Stinksap. I wrinkled my nose and found a good part of the wing had been turned into a swamp. Laughing in the middle were the Twins, with identical grins plastered on their faces. In the swamp were several students, including Cyliana White, Sophia Warbeck, Lee, and Ophilia. Cyliana was screaming about Stinksap in her hair while everyone else just laughed, drenched in the stuff.

But everyone except the Twins smiles faded when Umbridge pushed her way to the front on the opposite side of the swamp, followed by a very eager Filch.

“Well,” she said with deadly venom, “Weasleys, all over you, down to the Entrance Hall. Mr. Filch, you’ll find the Approval for Whipping in my office.”

“Oh, thank you!” Filch fawned, and he was off in a flash. Using magic, Umbridge pushed the Twins down her side of the corridor and downstairs. Everyone followed.

It was a re-creation of the night Trelawny got sacked. Fred and George were in the middle of a huge ring of students, Umbridge facing them.

“So, you think it’s amusing to set off a swamp in the middle of the corridor, do you?” asked Umbridge.

“Pretty amusing, yeah,” Fred said casually, looking back at Umbridge without fear. Filch elbowed himself roughly into the circle, practically crying.

“I’ve got the order Headmistress, oh please let me do it now!”

“Very good Argus. And you two,” she looked at Fred and George again, “are about to learn what happens to wrongdoers in my school.”

“You know what? I don’t think we are,” said Fred. “George, I think we’re outgrown full-time education.”

“Yeah, I’ve been feeling that way myself.”

“Time to test our talents in the real world, d’you reckon?”

“Definitely.”

Together, they raised their wands and shouted, “Accio Brooms!”

With a loud distant crash and zooming, Fred and George’s brooms hurtled towards them, one still trailing the chain and iron peg that had held it to the wall. They stopped in front of their owners, who mounted them.

“We won’t be seeing you,” said Fred.

“Yeah, don’t bother to keep in touch,” said George. Fred then addressed the crown of students.

“If anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated upstairs, come to number Ninety-Three Diagon Alley – Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes, our new premises!”

“Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they’re going to use our products to get rid of this old bat,” added George, gesturing to Umbridge.

“STOP THEM!” shrieked Umbridge, but Fred and George kicked off and were in the air.

“So I’m Terminator,” said Fred.

“And I’m Matrix,” said George.

“And we’re signing out!” they said together.

Fred looked at Peeves, and added, “Giver her hell from us, Peeves.” Miraculously, Peeves saluted them, and the Twins were out the front doors and into the sunset, followed by the cheers of the students and their fellow Marauders.