Hardly Worth Your Time

They had gone through five movies, pounds of food, and plenty of drinks already and Emily and Alex were the only ones still awake. They were lying on the floor on their stomachs watching Pirates of the Caribbean on low volume. Jack and Matt were basically cuddling on the couch and drooling. Rian and Rebecca were lying across the sofa. Lindsey was curled into Zack who had his arms limply around her.

Emily had noticed how quiet Alex had been during the entire evening and night and was starting to worry when he shifted and looked at her.

“Go on a date with me,” Alex blurted out.

“What?” Emily looked at him startled.

“Uh, date, me and you?” he tried nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

Emily sighed, “Alex.”

“Emily.”

“Alex.”

“Emily.”

Emily rolled her eyes before standing up from the floor and walking into the kitchen, Alex trailing behind her. She turned around and folded her arms across her chest before leaning her hip against the counter. “No,” she answered simply.

Alex shoved his hands into his jeans pockets looking at his feet. He was so ashamed of himself. And she was stubborn. “Just…give me one chance—“

“Alex—“

“One chance, and if you don’t have a good time then I’ll never bother you about this again,” he negotiated.

Emily gave him a half smile, “You know I’d have a good time Alex. That’s hardly a concession.”

Alex chuckled before turning serious again. “Just, give me a chance, Em, please? Let me show you I can be serious about this. That’s all I’m asking for, one chance, and if I screw up, which I won’t because, well I can’t hurt you again, ever, I just can’t and I really want to try. We can take it slow and, please?” he said really quickly.

Emily rubbed her shoulder absentmindedly before replying, “No Alex.”

“Why?”

Emily squinted at him before moving her bangs out of her face. “First of all, I’m dating Eric!”

“Oh come off it, you know you’re only dating him just because he’s there.”

“I’m not dating him just because! He makes me happy Alex, something YOU don’t do,” she said raising her voice.

Alex stared at her with his fists balled up. To say that didn’t hurt would be the biggest lie in the world. It would make the universe laugh at him for trying to deny it.

He took a deep breath before opening his mouth but Emily continued. “Second of all, think about it Alex. Think of the relationship you and I would have. We’re both too stubborn for one relationship, look at us now. We have the ability to hurt each other like no one else can. You’re going to be gone on tour all the time; it was hard enough to be separated from you for three weeks, think of how hard it’ll be nine months out of the year. I’m not going on tour with you and you are not giving up music. We had our chance for something but it’s done; over. We won’t work, and somewhere inside of that stubborn little head you know it’s true. However much you want to deny it because you hate being wrong and you hate not getting something. I know you Alex, but I’ve also thought about the whole you and me thing these past three weeks. I did consider it, but it just will not work. We’re better as friends anyways,” Emily explained.

“Bull shit,” Alex was beyond keeping his frustration in.

“Excuse me?” Emily asked shocked.

“That’s the pessimistic outlook. That’s you making excuses. That’s you being scared,” Alex called her out. “You know we could make it work. We’re you and me; we could conquer the world together if we tried,” he said softly because as much as he hated how she hurt him a minute ago, Emily was, well, Emily, and when he thought or spoke of them together he couldn’t help but feel fondly of her. “We know each other enough, especially now, not to hurt each other again. I can…not be so stubborn sometimes. I’m willing to make this work, why won’t you just give it a try Em? Weren’t you always the one that said that you’ll never know until you try? Didn’t you always say to fuck it and take chances? What’s changed?” Alex retorted.

“That’s not being pessimistic, that’s being realistic asshole,” Emily pointed a finger at him. “I may be scared but I stand behind what I think. I’m not willing to risk a great friendship over something that’ll never work out. Look at us Alex!” she exclaimed. “All we ever do when we talk about us is fight or argue or get upset. It’s not worth it! Why is it so hard for you to understand that?”

“Because I don’t think we’re going to end up hating each other. I think we’ll get irritated with each other but we’ve never stayed mad for longer than a week. It has to work Em, just try,” Alex countered feebly.

“Alex,” Emily whispered walking over to him, “Please just…,” she paused framing her hands around his face, pulling it down a little. “Just let this go. Move on, I’m not worth the trouble,” she said with a shaky voice.

Alex shook his head in her hands before framing her face and staring her straight in the eyes, “You’re always worth my time, Em. Why won’t you get that?”

“Alex, just stop!” Emily cried out, pulling away from him. “I don’t want this right now, okay?!”

Alex watched her and felt numb after being that close to her. He studied her expression and movements and as much as it hurt to do, he nodded his head, “Okay,” he whispered defeated.

Emily’s arms hung limp by her sides and stared at him as he stared back at her, both with confused expressions.

Alex carefully stepped forward after a long, silent moment. Emily stayed where she was, still staring into his eyes. He moved forward again and received the same reaction. He felt like she knew that he was saying, ‘Just a hug, is that alright?’ and then she confirmed it with a slight nod of her head. He rushed forward pulling her gently into a hug.

She melted into his body, holding him close. His arms wrapped around her securely and his head rested atop her own. He was once again mesmerized by her scent and touch. He felt somewhat empty though and was regretting giving up.

“C’mon, let’s go outside,” Alex mumbled.

Emily laced her hand with his and they walked out the kitchen door to the back door. They stepped onto the freshly cut grass and slowly sat down in the grass before lying down, staring up at the stars that were barely visible because of the numerous street lights clouding the sky.

“It’s beautiful,” Emily mumbled before yawning.

“Incredible,” Alex breathed his eyes transfixed on the girl next to him rather than the sky.