And The Scars Remind Me

|chapter one|

I sat in the car, feeling the warmth of the heater through my damp clothes. It had started to rain on our way to the car but we had safely made it inside before the skies could open up and engulf us in icy liquid. I looked at her, breathing heavy from running and grinning at the ridiculousness of it all.

“What, is this like some romantic comedy where the couple gets caught in the rain and it’s supposed to be sexy?”

My lips curled up into a smile and I stared at Gia. She always seemed to make me smile with the most ordinary sentences. I think it was her voice. Her words resonated with me and her voice spoke them beautifully. I guess I may be thinking with a slight bias but I truly did believe that.

I reached over and took her hand in mine, running my fingertips over her knuckles and looking at the engagement ring that had been placed on her finger only twenty minute ago. I never thought I would be doing this. I wasn’t looking to settle down but there was something about her…

I felt her hand on my cheek and she guided her lips to mine and pulled me in for a kiss. I could feel my spine tingle and it always felt like the first kiss every time. With her, I felt awake and unafraid of what might be ahead. It was so strange to me. I couldn’t quite put a finger on exactly how it made me feel. It made me feel giddy and excited and just a whole slew of emotions all mixed together all the time. It was crazy.

“I love you, Gia” I whispered to her, settling back into my seat. I watched her face soften then her lips curved up into a smile.

“I love you too, Gerard.” I watched as she slid the key into the ignition and started up the car. The windshield wipers went back and forth on the widow with a steady, never ending rhythm. The headlights were turned on and we started out for the road. It was time to go back to the hotel and to somewhat relish in the nights events. I couldn’t help but stare at her, taking in her features, as she drove through the dark roads of the Michigan Interstate. We had been delayed in Michigan for a few days for bus repairs and this was the last night of the unexpected break. The last few days were the same…unexpected. I took in her face, how her mouth twitched slightly while she driving, how her damp dark brown hair framed her face and a piece was entwined around her neck. I knew that it would be easy to spend the rest of my life with her.

The sky was getting darker with the oncoming night and the darkness mixed with the reflection of the falling water made it nearly impossible to see.

“I think…I think that I’m going to get off at the next exit.” Gia’s voice was laced with anxiety. “I can’t see.” I put my hand on her thigh and gave it a pat.

“I think that’s a good idea.” We were driving slow now and the headlights and tail lights blurred together like one aquatic kaleidoscope and then we weren’t sure if we were even driving straight anymore.

“G-Gerard? I can’t see anything. Am I going straight?” Gia’s voice was small and she was hunched over the steering wheel trying to see better. I sat rigid in my seat, my stomach starting to turn. I couldn’t tell either.

“I think so.” I said uncertainly. The rain was coming down harder and we could feel the tired losing grip on the gravel covered wet pavement. Headlights passed up casting us both in an eerie glow. I could hear nothing but the frantic thud of the wipers going full speed and the sound of rain water sloshing underneath the car.

Gia took a second to look at me, her mouth opened to speak when I saw the taillights almost on top of us. It was surreal.

“Look out!” Gia’s head flipped back to the front and then I felt the car spinning. I felt an impact and heard the crunching of metal, then lights going around…around…until I got dizzy and couldn’t keep my eyes open. I felt throbbing pain in my head, my stomach but what hurt the most were the sound of Gia’s screams. It was haunting. I felt like a millions pieces of broken glass were getting shot at me. It only lasted a second more and then the car was still. I tried to focus my eyes on something…anything. I could feel the cold rain on my face and I could still hear the wipers dutifully doing their job.

“Gia?” I choked out, unsure if I was even speaking The car was sitting upright, but I knew that it had been rolled. The windshield was spider webbed and my window had been shattered completely, letting the rain in. I panned my head to the side to see if Gia was still there. The pain was excruciating and It was taking all I had not to cry out. Gia. I had to know if Gia was okay. My eyes focused in on the darkness next to me and I saw her form. She was slumped over in her seat, her head resting on the steering wheel.

“Gia?” It was all I could manage to choke out. She remained still. I began to say her name again when I saw her move her head and heard a groan escape her lips. The rain had soaked my shirt and in addition to the pain I could feel myself shiver. I didn’t care. Gia. Gia had to be okay.

“Gerard?” I closed my eyes, thankful that she spoke. I watched as she raised her head and tried to sit up but instead cried out in pain. I tried to slide in closer to her and with effort and pain, I did.

“What’s wrong?” I breathed, gasping slightly for air. I could make out her delicate facial features in the pale light and her eyes scared me. They were wide with fear, pain and confusion and then they looking down. I followed her gaze and I could feel my heart sink and my stomach turn. There was large shard of metal protruding from the middle of her abdomen. It had pinned her to her seat and I could see the end of it sticking out from the back of the seat. The rain was coming in on her side of the car as well, but it wasn’t enough to wash away the crimson liquid.

I could feel the tears well up in my eyes and I watched as Gia became paler and began to shake.

“Gerard,” She whispered, her voice barely audible. I brought my hand to her face, trying to wipe away her tears.

“Shhh, don’t” I said, my voice wavering. I watched as she squeezed her eyes shut, a few tears escaping from under her lips. I brought my quivering lips to hers and kissed them.

“Oh god, I’m going to die.” She whispered, her voice shaking, and quieter still. I could only manage a sob. Her eyes started to glaze over and I knew I only had a few more moments.

“I love you, Gia” I said, not being able to think of anything else to say. There were a millions thoughts racing through my head and I just couldn’t form the words. I watched as she continued to shake and then was still. He face was starting to go slack and the rain fell on her face giving it an eerie sheen. I looked into her eyes not sure if they even saw anything anymore. He lips were moving slightly, but no sound escaped them. She mouthed, “I love you” then her eyes fell to the left and I knew she was gone.

I felt my face contort in anguish and I wanted to be dead as well. The overwhelming sensation of anger, pain and sadness was almost to much to bear. I felt my body convulse in sobs and then I had nothing to do but wait.

And so I did. It must have been an hour later when the red and blue lights stopped in front of the wreckage and pulled me out. I sat in the ambulance, dripping wet and wrapped in a thick grey wool blanket. The images of the paramedics were fuzzy and everything seemed to go in slow motion. I was laying on the stretched, looking up at the marred ambulance ceiling feeling hands all over me. I blinked. Pain. It wouldn’t end. There was yelling and I saw their frightened faces. It must not be good but I couldn’t really think straight. My eyes were getting so heavy and closing them would be so easy. I tried to keep them open but I couldn’t. All at once there was white and pain…then….

Black.