A Little Bit Longer

After Kevin had told Ellen what the down sides where to spending almost 24/7 with your brothers, Mia was asked where she got her dress sense from. Mia wondered upon wonder how to answer. From her sister? No, she couldn't say that. For then it would be exposed to the nation how her sister wasn't around anymore. Her mother? She couldn't say that either, as Deborah would probably complain about being talked about in front of thousands of people.

"I don't get it from anyone. I just sort of open my wardrobe in the morning and pick anything out," Mia said, truthfully. A quiet giggle passed through the audience. Not really paying much attention, Mia heard Ellen say something like how honest she was. Once the focus had been placed on Joe, Mia began to think about Annie again. She would have loved Kevin's sense of humour... She found herself thinking as her eyes rested on Kevin for a moment. He flashed her a quick smile. As she tried desperately to turn her attention to something else, the audience broke out in laughter at something that Mia had been oblivious to. Wanting to blend in, she began to laugh too.

"Thank you so much for your time, we've loved having you on the show," Ellen said to her guests as the show drew to a close. As she bid the viewers goodbye, the words "and we're off," were said and people began to move. Mia stood and smoothed down her dress, making her way to her room. Opening the door, stepping inside and closing it again, she took a deep breath and ruffled her hands through her hair, feeling too neat and tidy. As she slid it off and got back into her original clothes, she felt much more like herself.

There was a sudden knock on her door, and, opening it, Mia was relieved to see Nicholas standing there. After she'd let him in, he sat down at the dressing table and began singing When You Look Me In The Eyes, his beautiful voice filling the room and making it feel like a warm place to be.

If the heart is always searching,
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone,
I'll never make it on my own.
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true

When you look me in the eyes,
Tell me that you love me,
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise...

He stood, then took her up in his arms and span her around. Mia couldn't control her abrupt joy.

"I'm so happy you said that, earlier. You have no idea how happy I was." Nick told her, smiling. He was still holding her.

"I do know," as Nick put Mia down, he took both her hands in his own and compared them. He laughed at how small her hands were in comparison to his own. Mia didn't want to speak, didn't want to break the trance they both seemed to be engulfed in. But she felt she needed to get something off her chest.

"Nicholas... You know it's okay to be dependent on me." She concentrated on his eyes, searching for the soft side of him that wouldn't take her comment offensively. He looked as though he were thinking for a moment, then pulled his hands away from hers. He stepped back, looking at the floor. Mia was confused.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He suddenly asked, defensively, his chocolate eyes suddenly turning to an evil shade of brown. Mia stepped towards him, but he took a pace backwards, as though she were something contagious that he didn't want to catch. Mia felt hurt.

"Nick, I just..." She paused when he began to shake his head.

"Me, dependent on you? Amelia, I'm the one who is always taking the blame for everything that goes wrong. Just because of my diabetes, M, I can take care of myself. You're dependent on me, not the other way around. I'm sick of this, everybody thinks I'm not capable of looking after myself, not capable of anything. People are always watching me, trying to make sure everything is okay when I can do that myself," he snapped, his voice breaking at the end. His eyes were watering. Mia was frightened. Not sure what to say, she
opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again. She held out her hand and reached up to his head, resting it on the back and then gently pulling him towards her. He didn't hesitate this time; nor did he respond, for there were no more words wanting to escape from his mouth. He didn't look at her. He felt... Unreal, like he wasn't there.

"I'm sorry," Mia said, removing her hand and placing it on his arm.

"Why? You'll only do it again, only make me feel useless again. It's like you enjoy doing it!" Nick found himself shouting, but the words weren't coming from him. Not the real Nicholas. Mia felt her eyes blur up. Stepping away from him, she sunk down into the dressing table chair. Her eyes made their way up and down the strange male she that stood in front of her, who she had never seen before. This was not the person she fell in love with. He was staring at the floor again.

"...Why are you being this way?" Mia questioned, glancing up, afraid of what the answer might be. She saw her boyfriend clasp his hands to his head, then tug at his own curls, the curls in which made him who he was. She felt herself inhale more deeply than ever before, and then hold her breath, not wanting to breath again until the person in front of her became someone she recognized. Then, he calmed down. He rubbed his temples and sighed, making his way toward the confounded girl in front of him. He whispered 'sorry', and pulled her up by her arms and held her close to him.

"I'm so sorry, Mia. I just hate the way things are turning out for me."

*

I can't cope with this. He has so many mood swings. One moment he loves me and wants to be with me and the next he is turning on me. I know I don't understand how he feels, I don't have people checking up on me 24/7. But I hate the way he's being.
I hate it.

On the flight back to New Jersey, Mia hadn't been able to stop writing in her diary. She looked back at things she'd wrote in her freshman and sophomore years, on the first dates that Nick had taken her on. Those were the times that just the mention of the names 'Nick', 'Nicholas', 'Jerry', or 'Jonas' would make her smile and her heart turn into jelly. Things seemed different now. She turned her head to find Nicholas staring out of the window, no emotion in his face at all. Mia thought about leaning over and kissing him, just to try and make things seem easier between them. But she decided not to, she didn't feel comfortable doing so.
How can I not feel comfortable with him? This is the one guy I love and adore, never want to be parted with. How can I feel like this?

Hours of slow and painful time went by, each of which feeling like a decade. Mia had finished her book, gotten bored with all the music on her mobile and there was nothing else to do that particularly interested her. She turned her head to find that Nick was now asleep, he'd clearly been swallowed by a dream that led him away from his busy schedule. That's when Kevin and Joe approached her. Joe's hair looked like it had been straightened again, and Mia couldn't help but chortle at Kevin's signature cowboy boots. Looking down at himself, Kevin laughed too. Joe's face, however, looked serious.

"Is he okay?" He whispered, indicating his brother, Nicholas. Mia looked over at him, and found herself being vanquished by sympathy for her boyfriend. She shrugged, trying not to seem as concerned for him as she really was. Both Kevin and Joe shook their heads, fearing for their younger sibling.

"He hasn't been exactly... Himself, lately," Mia told the brothers, reaching over to play with Nick's brown locks. She twirled one around her finger, then released it. She looked up at the two attractive males in front of her. Oh my days. Now I'm finding my boyfriend's brothers attractive?! Mia thought worriedly to herself, trying to turn her attention back to Nick. Their eyes still fixed on their brother, Joe and Kevin began to talk to each other about how Nick needs all the support he can get, and that he did need people to rely on. Mia pretended she wasn't there, not wanting to hear anymore about it. Enough had to be enough, right?