It Takes Someone Special to be a Dad

A/N: Just so you know, this is the first of two updates you're getting today. So be on the look-out for another update in the next couple of hours :)

I knew there was only one way to end the heartache flooding my entire existence.

I had to end things myself.

I stood up and changed the CD from 'The Black Parade' back to 'Bullets'.

I needed every single lyric and guitar note My Chemical Romance had ever ripped from their black hearts on the off-chance it could save mine.

I took a deep breath and pulled a pad of paper and a pen towards me and stopped.

The pen hovered over the page in anticipation.

How was I going to do this?

I listened to the music for a second and took a deep breath.

The amount of pills I’m taking.

I knew how I was going to do this, I just needed to justify it.

I find it hard to stay.

Gerard’s lyrics seeped into my thoughts and I brought the pen to the paper and let my heart control my hand.

A kiss goodbye.

I paused for a second and listened as Sarah and Sophia left. They didn’t understand yet, but as I brought the pen back to the paper I realised they soon would.

I can’t begin to let you know just what I’m feeling.

I threw one piece of paper to the side and seized another.

Hear me out.

Tears fell steadily as my hand whizzed across the page and I let the lyrics inspire me.

Early sunsets

Early sunsets indeed, mine was fast approaching.

I’ll die alone

The paper soon filled up and I seized another, then another.

I’d end my days with you.

I dropped the sixth piece of paper onto the pile and wondered if Gerard had meant that when he wrote those words.

He certainly wasn’t ending his days with me.