It Takes Someone Special to be a Dad
I'll eat your hat
I flopped onto my bed and sat with my legs crossed opposite Max. I felt the anger leave my body via floods of tears and Max pulled my close to him for my comfort.
“I wish I really knew who he was, Max.” I mumbled into his shoulder. He rubbed my back gently and I wrapped my arms around him tightly; needing the comfort and closeness it brought.
“Come on, its okay, just calm down first.” He cooed. I sighed and let my tears fall freely.
“How are you feeling?” Max asked as I pulled away from him and dried my eyes. His bright blue eyes looked into my hazels with a look of concern.
“Lost.” I mumbled and stood up quickly. My eyes skimmed over my room, searching for their prize. I sighed in relief as it caught my eyes. I leant down and seized the corner and dragged it out from beneath a book, an old sock and last week’s Kerrang magazine.
I yanked the CD out of its case and shoved it hastily into the CD player and hit the play button. I skipped the first four songs and grinned happily as the opening chords kicked in. I could always rely on My Chemical Romance to cheer me up. I turned to Max who smirked. I rolled my eyes and sat beside him.
“Please, don’t start that again.” I whined and mooched over to my bed.
“Come on, Holly, please tell me you haven’t noticed either?” He asked. I sighed and laid back on my bed and let the lyrics wash over me.
“Of course I’ve noticed.”
“Why haven’t you asked your mom yet, then?” He added. I didn’t answer, just looked at the posters on my ceiling as I listened to the song.
Stand, up fucking tall.
“I’m trying to be realistic here, Max.” I answered and sat up. I paused again to let my favourite line of the song pass.
Oh how wrong we were to think, that immortality meant never dying.
I smiled slightly and continued speaking.
“Look, for all I know, Gerard could have fed my mom a bunch of lies. Elena could have just been the name of his drug dealer.” I replied, although something in my heart told me my dad wasn’t a junkie. All I had to do was look into my own eyes and I knew he was a decent kid. Also, my mom avoided the subject of him like the plague. They must have fallen hard if she still held that much pain.
“Holly, do you really believe that?” Max asked gently. I looked at him and sighed.
“No but it’s more realistic than what you want me to believe. Yeah, the thought came to me but it probably came to hundreds of other teenagers.”
“How many Gerard’s do we know who has a grandmother called Elena? Come on, even the age fits and where he was from.”
“Max, do you think there is only one Gerard in the world with a grandmother called Elena? Do you seriously believe there’s only one Gerard who lived in Newark long enough to have a kid when they were 14?” I answered, although I felt like this was a weak argument.
Max gave me a ‘who-are-you-trying-to-convince-here-me-or-you?’ look and smirked.
I sat up and listened as Gerard launched into ‘Headfirst for Halos’. I stared blankly at one of many posters or MCR I had stuck to my wall. All of the signs pointed to the one thing I was trying to deny. I just had to be realistic and not get my hopes up too much.
“Alright Max, I’ll do you a deal.” I stated and turned my head to face him.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“I’ll ask my mom to tell me who my real father is and if it turns out we’re right…I’ll eat your Nirvana hat.” I said, smiling. Max looked on in shock.
“But I love my Nirvana hat!” He moaned and shoved his body closer to mine. “Please don’t take my baby from me!”
“I probably won’t have to, Max. I gave you a very big if there.” I mumbled and stared back at my poster.
There was no way in hell [pun not intended] that Gerard Way was my father. So maybe the signs all pointed to it, but there were millions of people in New Jersey. There’s got to be more than one Gerard out there with a 16 year old daughter.
Isn’t there?
“I wish I really knew who he was, Max.” I mumbled into his shoulder. He rubbed my back gently and I wrapped my arms around him tightly; needing the comfort and closeness it brought.
“Come on, its okay, just calm down first.” He cooed. I sighed and let my tears fall freely.
“How are you feeling?” Max asked as I pulled away from him and dried my eyes. His bright blue eyes looked into my hazels with a look of concern.
“Lost.” I mumbled and stood up quickly. My eyes skimmed over my room, searching for their prize. I sighed in relief as it caught my eyes. I leant down and seized the corner and dragged it out from beneath a book, an old sock and last week’s Kerrang magazine.
I yanked the CD out of its case and shoved it hastily into the CD player and hit the play button. I skipped the first four songs and grinned happily as the opening chords kicked in. I could always rely on My Chemical Romance to cheer me up. I turned to Max who smirked. I rolled my eyes and sat beside him.
“Please, don’t start that again.” I whined and mooched over to my bed.
“Come on, Holly, please tell me you haven’t noticed either?” He asked. I sighed and laid back on my bed and let the lyrics wash over me.
“Of course I’ve noticed.”
“Why haven’t you asked your mom yet, then?” He added. I didn’t answer, just looked at the posters on my ceiling as I listened to the song.
Stand, up fucking tall.
“I’m trying to be realistic here, Max.” I answered and sat up. I paused again to let my favourite line of the song pass.
Oh how wrong we were to think, that immortality meant never dying.
I smiled slightly and continued speaking.
“Look, for all I know, Gerard could have fed my mom a bunch of lies. Elena could have just been the name of his drug dealer.” I replied, although something in my heart told me my dad wasn’t a junkie. All I had to do was look into my own eyes and I knew he was a decent kid. Also, my mom avoided the subject of him like the plague. They must have fallen hard if she still held that much pain.
“Holly, do you really believe that?” Max asked gently. I looked at him and sighed.
“No but it’s more realistic than what you want me to believe. Yeah, the thought came to me but it probably came to hundreds of other teenagers.”
“How many Gerard’s do we know who has a grandmother called Elena? Come on, even the age fits and where he was from.”
“Max, do you think there is only one Gerard in the world with a grandmother called Elena? Do you seriously believe there’s only one Gerard who lived in Newark long enough to have a kid when they were 14?” I answered, although I felt like this was a weak argument.
Max gave me a ‘who-are-you-trying-to-convince-here-me-or-you?’ look and smirked.
I sat up and listened as Gerard launched into ‘Headfirst for Halos’. I stared blankly at one of many posters or MCR I had stuck to my wall. All of the signs pointed to the one thing I was trying to deny. I just had to be realistic and not get my hopes up too much.
“Alright Max, I’ll do you a deal.” I stated and turned my head to face him.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“I’ll ask my mom to tell me who my real father is and if it turns out we’re right…I’ll eat your Nirvana hat.” I said, smiling. Max looked on in shock.
“But I love my Nirvana hat!” He moaned and shoved his body closer to mine. “Please don’t take my baby from me!”
“I probably won’t have to, Max. I gave you a very big if there.” I mumbled and stared back at my poster.
There was no way in hell [pun not intended] that Gerard Way was my father. So maybe the signs all pointed to it, but there were millions of people in New Jersey. There’s got to be more than one Gerard out there with a 16 year old daughter.
Isn’t there?