The Prancing Pony

It was a normal day in the Prancing Forest of Influential Prancing. I pranced and I pranced, because that really was the only sensible thing to do in a forest titled after the act of prancing influentially. I was a prancer. My name is Edgar D. Pohnie, and I was a prancing pony.

My golden mane flapped in the wind as I pranced. I pranced by everything you could ever think of! There was a toilet made of solid gold and a cricket after that, not to mention the shining bucket that came after that! I was a happy prancing pony in the Prancing Forest of Influential Prancing that influenced prancing of all kinds.

Just when I didn’t think my day could get any better, I wandered upon a wheel of cheese. This wasn’t any ordinary wheel of cheese, however. This wheel of cheese was a genuine wheel of cheese that was specially shipped from a cobbler in Peru! I was shocked, because a wheel of cheese that is specially shipped from a cobbler in Peru was the best kind of cheese.

„Why, good wheel, would you mind if I nibbled you whilst I pranced in the Prancing Forest of Influential Prancing?“ I asked him most politely. The deliciousness that was cheese was taunting my nostrils. It was as if it were saying, ‚eat me, Edgar. Eat me!’

The wheel of cheese that was specially shipped from a cobbler in Peru turned to me with a blank expression, for he was a wheel of cheese, and I’m almost certain that wheels of cheese cannot, in fact, show emotions. He seemed to ponder the statement for a while, deciding whether he wanted to be nibbled upon or not. I suppose that is a hard decision, anyway.

„Good pony, you may not! I do not enjoy being nibbled upon by a pony whilst he prances in the Prancing Forest of Influential Prancing,“ he said with a definitive tone. I was saddened greatly by this news.

„Well, I respect your decision, good wheel. What might your name be?“ I asked with interest. If I could not nibble upon him whilst prancing in the Prancing Forest of Influential Prancing, then I would most like to be his friend!

„My name, good pony, is Perry L. Wiel. What is yours?“

„My name, good wheel, would be Edgar D. Pohnie, master of prancing ponies in the Prancing Forest of Influential Prancing! I am most pleased to meet you. Would you care to be my friend and partner as we prance through the Prancing Forest of Influential Prancing?“ I asked with upmost hopefulness that Mr. Wiel would care to be a humble prancing pony’s friend.

„I would love to, Mr. Pohnie, but I am afraid that I am but a mere wheel of cheese that was specially shipped from a cobbler in Peru, and I cannot prance. I have no legs nor arms to prance upon,“ Mr. Wiel explained, which made me gasp in sheer horror. Not being able to prance in the Prancing Forest of Influential Prancing must have been completely rotten! I did indeed feel very sorry for Mr. Wiel.

I had to make it up to him somehow, so I sat and thought. I thought and thought and thought, not even caring to prance whilst I thought. That is how focused I was. Hours passed, and I thought some more. Mr. Wiel had a cup of tea while I thought, most probably pitching in to think as well. He hadn’t a clue as to what I was thinking of, nor did I know what was running through his cheesy noggin.

Finally, when it felt like all hope was lost and I was doomed to think forevermore, I pranced excitedly, for I had a plan. Mr. Wiel gasped in startlement, waking up with a shock from his cranberry-filled dreams of delight.

„I have an idea, then, Mr. Wiel! It is the best idea, and I had to think for hours to come up with it,“ I explained enthusiastically.

„What would be your plan, Mr. Pohnie?“ Mr. Wiel asked with sheer wonder.

„My plan... is that you ride upon my prancing pony back whilst I prance through the Prancing Forest of Influential Prancing! Together we can explore acres upon acres of the endless Prancing Forest of Influential Prancing, discovering many new things together,“ I explained with a grin. Mr. Wiel looked amazed and amused, educated and illuminated.

„Great Scott, Mr. Pohnie, that is a downright excellent idea,“ Mr. Wiel exclaimed, jumping for joy. He, however, still showed no emotion on his cheese face, since, again, wheels of cheese cannot show expression. His voice gave away all excitement, though.

I assisted him on getting onto my prancing pony back, and I pranced into the sunset. That was how I met my best friend and faithful companion, Perry L. Wiel.