Run Away With Me

"Why do you love him though?" Jake asked after a long pause.

"I don't know," I answered slowly. "His eyes. His hugs. His sweet nature. How, he thinks he hurts people, but really he's so much help."

I had to blink away tears. Thinking of him hurt. I literally ached to have him in my arms.

"But Frank has Kalli remember," he pointed out nastily. I sent Jake an evil look, then looked back down at my hands.

"I know. It hurts every day to know I messed things up and now he cares about some other girl, who is prettier than me, less fucked up and so much better. She plays amazing music, she is nice to everyone, bar me, and Kalli is just so much better than me," this time I couldn't hide the tears. "She's perfect, and I'm not. She's funny and I'm not. I'm just a burden he shouldn't care about!"

Jake looked like he regretted starting the conversation, but I continued anyway. I had to get it off my chest.

"Frank doesn't hurt me, I hurt myself because of him. He doesn't deserve me. He's right to want somebody else, I am not enough. Even though you may say different, and he may say different. I've known myself for years, and I know it's true. I so wish I could believe he loves me, and maybe he does, but it won't last because I mess everything up!"

I bit my lip and clenched my fists, hating myself so much.

"I wish he was here, so I could tell him how much I love him, how much I hate Kalli for stealing him from me. How much he means to me, to so many people," I paused, and Jake took my hand, holding it tight. "Sorry, it's just, Frank means so much to me and even though I have fucked things up, I am not going to give up. I wish I could tell him not to leave me because it would kill me, but I cant because I've already fucked up and I want him to be happy."

I finally stopped my mild rant and sighed softly, letting Jake hold me tight as my heart broke slowly and painfully for the boy I was sure I had lost forever.