Run Away With Me

"I think maybe you should meet my parents,"

I wriggled away from Jake as he uttered the words I'd been dreading for the past three weeks. Even though it was a small couch, the new gap between us was obvious, and I avoided Jake's eyes.

"Why?" I challenged, staring at my knees. "It's not like your planning on proposing, is it?" I joked, then froze where I was sitting. "Is it?"

Surely when somebody thinks of their boyfriend proposing, they're happy?

"No, of course not silly," Jake teased, sliding his arm back around me and pulling me tight to his side. It felt like he was made of glue. I longed to run away and lock myself in my room. "It's just that I know Tessa, and I think my parents should know the girl I love."

Argh! The 'L' word! Abort! Abort! Change the subject! Hit him! Kiss him! Do something, quick! Anything!

"I thought you just lived with your dad?" I sidled around the dilemma casually.

"Yeah, well I have my step-mom too. Her name is Cathy and she is really nice. You'll get on with her so well."

"Um..." I couldn't think of anything to get me out of it. I felt like a trapped rat.

'This isn't how a relationship is supposed to work,' a cruel voice pointed out inside my head. 'I mean, think of how Jake makes you feel, then think of how Frank makes you feel.'

"Shut up," I growled back silently.

"So, how about now?" Jake injected.

I blinked once in confusion, trying to remember exactly what we were talking about. The minute I did, my stomach did a worrying lurch. No, no, no! Not now, no way!

"Um..." I said again.

"Are you scared?" Jake teased, poking my stomach. I slapped his hand away absent-mindlessly, vaguely annoyed.

He poked me again, then again, twice in the stomach. It didn't register at first, I was too busy worrying. Then he tried to tickle me and kiss me at the same time and I snapped.

"Stop it!" I yelled, shoving him away from me with such force he fell of the couch. He landed at my feet, looking up at me with a hurt expression on his face.

"Rosie," he said so softly I could barely hear.

"I'm sorry Jake," I fell to my knees beside him, pulling him into a tight hug as my eyes filled with tears. "It's just, I'm so worried about Frank and failing school and Tessa, that I don't know if I could handle trying to make a good impression on your parents too. I'm sorry," I sobbed, the lies flowing easier than I'd expected.

"It's okay," Jake kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry for putting pressure on you. It's all my fault. Please forgive me."

I frowned, confused. How on Earth could he think it was his fault? How did he get to that conclusion? Was he doing this to make me feel even worse?

Jake misread my frown.

"Of course, if you hate me, I'll understand. It's not fair on you. You have enough on your plate."

I realized he was sincere, and I forced my face to relax and smooth out as I hugged him again, feeling my tense body let go and sink into the space between me and Jake. He was my boyfriend now, after all.

"I forgive you baby, I could never hate you."

We kissed, a lot, and made up. We stayed on the floor for a while, and when it started to go too far, too fast, I pulled myself to my feet.

"I really have a lot of homework to do," I lied, smoothing down my t-shirt and adjusting my bra. We both knew I was lying, but Jake got up too, making no protest.

I saw him to the door and Jake leaned in for a kiss goodbye.

Without thinking, I turned my head away, so I got an awkward peck on the cheek. I tried to do the same back, but Jake played the same trick on me, making my lips land on his. His tongue slid along my bottom lip, and I pulled away, fighting the revulsion that filled my body.

"I love you," Jake said, from the steps leading away from my front door.

I froze again, my heart the exception, trying to leap from my chest and attack Jake with a bloody splat. I didn't dare open my mouth until I controlled my breathing, in case I was sick all over his Nike shoes.

"Um..." I started, after a long pause. "I... right... you too."

I slammed the door close and leaned against it with my back, closing my eyes as I slid to the floor.

The truth was, I could only ever think of Jake as a friend. He was like a brother to me. Everything about this relationship was fake. Except Jake.

I was scum.