Why Would We Change a Thing?

“Your friend left my best friend to soak in the rain for three fucking hours. Do you even realize that? Do you even comprehend how bad she felt about herself?”

I hear Steph’s voice as I slowly gain consciousness from sleeping. My body feels weird and my head is hurting so bad. I couldn’t even move as much as I wanted to.

“Oh no, don’t give me that reason Michael. William didn’t even ask her if she was okay about him ditching her or if she actually waited for him. She waited for hours for crying out loud! She can’t possibly leave just like that because she was worried about him! turned out he was safe and sound with Nicole while my best friend soaked in the damn rain waiting for a simple phone call or a text telling her he cant come” Steph ranted

I can’t handle it anymore so I called out her name

“Steph?’ I said softly

“Shit. I have to go. Tell him that he is an ass” Steph said in the phone before hanging up

“I… I don’t feel too good Steph” I whispered trying to sit up but failing

“Are you- oh my god. You feel so hot. You have a fever!” Steph stated hysterically as she touched my forehead.

“Huh? I am…” I tried to say but I suddenly felt dizzy

“You have a high fever Cass. Shit. I have never touched anyone this hot before. I don’t know what to do” she said worried “I think I need to bring you to the hospital”

“No. not there” I mumbled trying to get energy but it feels like I haven’t got any

“Cass, I have to bring you to the hospital. You’re too sick. I can’t take care of you myself. You need more attention” she said trying to make me sit up but I can’t manage

“Ugh. Wait I’ll just call Michael for help” she said and started dialing.

“Hello? Michael. I need help. Cass is so sick. She’s so hot and I need to bring her to the hospital now.” I fairly hear Steph before feeling dizzy again and blacking out of everything. As I lost consciousness, I hear Steph’s voice panicking.

“Oh my God! Cass! Shit! Michael! I don’t know what’s happening to her! She’s shaking!”

That was the last thing I heard before everything became silent and black.

“Cass?” I hear someone say softly to my ear as I slowly gained consciousness.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw Steph’s worried face

“Oh my god. You’re okay. You’re awake already” Steph smiled to me

I smiled weakly

“Of course I am” I whispered to her

“You have been in bed for two days now. I was so worried” she said

“Really? Wow” I muttered “What happened to me?” I ask

“You had a really high fever which caused a frightening seizure. I was so scared. You scared the hell out of me Cassie. You just started to shake and I didn’t know what to do.”

“I had a seizure?” I asked trying to make it sink in

“Yes. The fever was so high that your body couldn’t take it. The doctor said it could have caused something worst if you weren’t brought to the hospital soon enough” she said

I blinked a few times and nodded. That was odd. I don’t even remember anything about having a seizure or shaking for that matter. All I remember is everything going black and hearing Step panicking.

“Anyway, you are stable now. Aren’t you hungry? You wanna eat? You haven’t eaten for days” she smiled handing me what looked like a cookie.

“This isn’t allowed but I think it’ll be good for you” she smirked at me as I got the cookie

“Thanks” I smiled to her then ate the cookie

“So… uhm. Will had been beside you the entire time you were sent here. Just thought you wanted to know” Steph said as I finished my cookie

I nodded. I still don’t know how to react to this. I mean, yeah, I give him credit for being with me when I was sent to the hospital but… did I feel his presence? I was sleeping the whole time. I would have wanted him to be with me a few days ago or that night I soaked in the rain rather than sitting by my bed watching me sleep.

“You just nodded?” Steph said looking blankly at me

“Yeah I just nodded, to let you know that I heard you” I said softly.

I honestly didn’t want to remember anything connected to the reason why I am here in a stupid hospital now. I just don’t wanna remember that night and the past few days before that night. Sometimes I just wanna return back to that date when I allowed Will to comfort Nicole and instead forbid him to do so. I didn’t know this would ruin us. I thought we were strong enough.

“He just went out to get something to eat. I am actually just filling in for him” Steph continued

I nodded again

“Don’t you not care?” she asked anxiously

“I do. I really do but… I just don’t wanna see William right now. I just don’t know how to act around him anymore. It feels like he is so far away from me already. He feels distant” I said

“I understand. You might have bad feelings about that night. I would be fuming mad if I were you.” Steph added

“Yes. I don’t even know how I feel. Am I mad or am I just upset about all of it? Being sick doesn’t help as well” I tell her

“Well, rest first ok? I’ll talk to Will and tell him about how you feel about him being in the room.” Steph said as she stood up

I sighed and shut my eyes. Right at that moment, I hear the door open. Thank god I closed my eyes already. I could bet a million bucks that it was Will.

“Did she wake up already?” I heard his voice.

I don’t even know how I feel. It’s like a part of me missed his voice but then a part also brought bad memories. It was the time he called me in the phone and ditched me just like that. His voice cut me like a knife back then. I continued to close my eyes and didn’t even dare to peek.

“Oh. Yeah. Just a few minutes ago. She slept again” Steph said

“Really? Why didn’t you call me? I would have run back here.” Will said a little too loud

“Shh. My god, you’re in a hospital William.” Steph snapped at him

“Sorry.”

“There’s also one more thing. When she woke up, we had a little chat”

“About?”

“About what happened” Steph said softly

“Oh.” Was all he said

“She still feels bad about it Will. I am sorry but I think it wouldn’t be good for you to come over too much. I think it can affect her recovery and right now, all I am concerned of is getting her out of this cursed hospital. Maybe you can talk to her when she is healthy again”

“Right. Of course. It’s all my fault anyway” I hear Will’s voice

“I know you are sorry but if I were Cass, I wouldn’t be just pushing you out for a while. I would scream and smack you all over. What Cass is doing is quite moderate to what she really needs to act towards you.” Steph said with a little acid in her voice

“I know. I guess I have to go now” Will whispered

“Talk to her when she’s well already. Maybe she just needs time to think about what happened these past few days” Steph said before I heard the door open then close

A part of me felt sorry about how Steph talked to him but a bigger part felt relieved that he was out the room already. I was able to finally relax my muscles. It is alarming that I felt relief when he was out. Usually I would feel incomplete when he is away from me but now I feel the complete opposite. Did he being with Nicole really affect my feelings towards him? Or the way he treated me? The way he would forget and ditch me?

I am just plain confused right now.