Mysophobia

It’s been a week since he told me he “likes me as a friend,” and tutoring him has only become more and more difficult. I could feel his eyes staring at me as I stared down at the book, softly reading it. I tried to ignore it, but I ended up getting nervous. I started to stutter a whole lot more, and I could barely keep my eyes on the text any more. I felt them wondering off to Averi.

“What?” I felt myself snap.

Ever since last week, he’s been different. He begs for more time with me, outside of school. He begs for more kisses.

I don’t think he understands how hard this is on me. I can’t stand germs, yet he insists on pushing his luck.

I do like him, but not when he’s like this. He looks at me, the lust obvious in his eyes, and he bites his lip, as if he’s nervous I’ll just start screaming at him.

I admit, he did make me angry, but I couldn’t stay angry at him. Especially since he admitted to me he likes me back, even if he tried to cover it up. If he honestly likes me as a friend, he would have told me sooner, but ’I like you, Sky,’ was first out of his mouth: Not ’I like you just as a friend.’

I could almost feel his eyes on me, as he sighed and shook his head.
“Nothing.”

“Doesn’t look like ‘nothing.’” I grunted, looking back down at the textbook.

He sat up, sighing, “What’s going on between us, Sky? I tell you I like you as a friend, and you’re being an ass.”

“What am I supposed to do, Averi? Look at you! You can’t keep your lusty eyes off of me! How is that you ‘liking me as a friend?’ I’m not stupid, Ave. I just don’t want us to get caught.”

I realized I practically told him I like him, when I said ‘I just don’t want us to get caught.’ I was hoping he didn’t catch on.

“My lusty eyes?” Averi asked, his voice getting more upset, “Well, at least, I’m not a stuttering bastard! I’m sorry I can’t stop looking at you. I’m trying to learn! Of course it’s my fault for being a visual learner.”

“Get out.” I grunted, picking up his science book. I threw it at him, as I repeated myself, “Get out of my house. I don’t want to even try anymore. Just get out.”

Averi took the book, and he slowly got to his feet. But instead of walking out of the house, he walked over to me. His hands grabbed at my covered shoulders. They took a hold of the black and grey striped scarf, and he softly pushed me backwards into a wall.

“Sky, you are such a bitch.”

His breath was warm against my skin. I looked into his blue eyes. My mother made me believe that one could see into the souls of everyone just by looking into their eyes. But I was young and naïve, I know better now. Especially since I couldn’t see into Averi’s right now. I wished I could, or at least to hear what he’s thinking.

I pushed my hands against his chest, but he was too strong and didn’t budge.

“I hate you,” I growled.

I never knew I could make a sound like that leave my lips, and it startled me: Just like it startled him.

“Not as much as I hate you.” He spat back at me, but it only made me laugh.

He looked at me, squinting his eyes. I grunted, “That’s a lie and you know it.”

“Or I was lying about liking you,” He sighed, “You really are being a bitch about this. I wish you wouldn’t.”

“Don’t wish anything, Averi. You know as well as I do that it won’t come true.”

I was being a bitch, but honestly I didn’t care. He ruined all his chances. I don’t want to tutor him any more. I don’t even want to be around him.

“Such…” Averi’s breath was on my neck, “A… Bitch…”

His lips touched my neck, pecking it softly, before moving up to my lips. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip, before softly nipping at it. I grunted, pushing my hands into his chest more, but he pushed himself closer into me. I opened my mouth, finally letting his begging tongue enter. I kissed back, for only one reason:

I liked it.