Mysophobia

It was a bet, and I wasn’t willing enough to let him win. I understand it sounds stupid: It’s just a bet. But it’s more than that: It’s Averi trying to help me face my fears.

It bothered me a lot. I barely made it. My panic attacks had been getting harder to handle. I could feel myself shaking, and I could barely breathe. The fact that Averi kept pushing my limits: Trying so hard to win the bet. It was getting harder to concentrate on tutoring, due to the sudden lightheadedness.

Averi looked at me, worried, “Are you okay?”

I clenched my arms into my chest, feeling sick. My panic attacks were going overboard.

“Sky, are you alright?” He asked, pressing his hand against my forehead.

It sent me over the edge: I pushed passed him and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t just wash my hands; I stripped and washed my whole body quickly under the freezing cold water. I stood for a few minutes just letting the cold water hit my face. I climbed out, not long after, and I wrapped a towel around my waist. Iran walked quickly to my room, and I pulled on clean clothes. I couldn’t let Ave see me in a towel: Who knows what ideas would pop up in his perverted head.

I met back up with Averi in the living room, where I left him. I sighed.
“You win.”

--

I couldn’t get to sleep.

I reached over and grabbed the house phone from the floor. I grunted as I dialed the number I wished I should have called more often.

“Sky, is everything alright?”

I smiled at the sound of his voice. I felt a whole lot better, even though I didn’t really feel down. I sighed, “I just needed to talk to you. I can’t sleep, and I miss you.”

“Oh, Sky. I miss you, too.”

I grinned, “Did I wake you?”

“Nah, I’m watching TV.” He was: I could hear the television in the background.

“Of course. You’re always watching the television when I call you.” I laughed.

I heard him snort: It was a cute sound he made when he laughs. “You just call me whenever the TV is on, Sky. I’m not always watching it.”

“I really miss you.” I sighed into the phone, “I’m sorry I haven’t called you recently, Taye. I’ve been busy.”

Tayden laughed, “I miss you, too. What have you been doing that makes you too busy to call me?”

“I’ve been tutoring this guy. We actually got together two weeks ago, also. It’s just hard. He’s so confusing.”

“That’s a boy for you. Is he treating you nicely?” Tayden: Oh, you always were protective. I should have remembered.

I rubbed my eyes, “He’s fine. He teases me a lot, though.”

“About your Mysophobia?”

I sighed, “He likes pushing his luck.”

We talked on and on like this for hours. It wasn’t until at least three in the morning, when I finally got some sleep. It has been almost a month since I’ve spoken to Tayden: Other than last night. I awoke, and I was ready for the new day, which happened to be Saturday, by nine.

“Mom, Jules and I are going to go to the mall, alright?” I asked.

My mom was in her room, probably on the phone with her boss. “Fine, Sky-baby, be safe.”

I grabbed my car keys that my mother gave me for my birthday. I climbed into the small car, and I pushed the jagged key into the ignition. I made sure I had my license before I pulled out of the driveway.

Maybe I got caught up in checking my mirrors, as I got onto the highway, or maybe it was the other driver’s fault: I’m not quite sure. I remember colliding with another car, spinning, and hitting my head on the window and then the steering wheel.

Another car hit mine, causing the windshield to break. The shards of glass pressed into my skin, as I was thrown into the steering wheel once again.

There was blood.

It’s mine, I know: I’m the only one in the car.

The car slowly stops, but my eyes can’t stay open. I suddenly felt drastically tired, and my eyelids slip shut.

I heard worried voices, but I was too tired to respond. I didn’t want to respond. There was only one thing on my mind.

Sleep.