Before It's Over

"Kyle, go to sleep."

"I can't."

"Why the hell not? You're keeping me awake."

"I'm still wishing."

I sighed and rolled over in Caleb's bunk. Kyle's continuous murmuring had been keeping me from sleep for a good hour, which meant it was sometime around six o'clock. I had not gotten any sleep since Kyle's confession an hour ago; partially because of Kyle's consistent whispering, but more so because of my own anxiousness.

"Will you two just shut up and make out already?"

"Austin!" I shouted, pulling back the bunk curtain and glaring up Austin's bunk above Kyle.

"I have no problem with that notion," Kyle offered from inside his bunk.

I groaned and climbed fully out of Caleb's bunk. I could hear Kyle's curtain pull back a bit, but I didn't turn to look. He didn't follow me, which was unlike him, but still favorable. I made my way to the front lounge and took a seat on the couch closest to the door.

"Anxious to make a get away?" The bus driver, whose name I hadn't learned, asked.

"Yeah, actually. Do you know how much longer?" I asked, hoping that the answer would be something along the lines of 'a few minutes,' but it was actually much better than I expected.

"I'm turning in now."

"Oh, thank you Jesus!" I said throwing my hands up and my head back to look in the direction of Heaven.

The bus was quickly directed to the lot and was parked in no time. I thanked the bus driver and bolted off the red monster before any of the boys could emerge from the bunk areas. I was sure I would be hearing about it later. I headed off in a random direction, hoping to find my van in close proximity. I really needed to talk to Adam.

Although Ross was as close to my twin as I could get, Adam was always the one I went to for serious advice. Maybe it was because he was older than me, but then again, Shane was older than all of us. Perhaps it was because his mind was sensible – it had to be if he was friends with Aiden – but I didn't have to worry about a brotherly protectiveness than came with Aiden's advice. Whatever reason it was, I could trust Adam whole-heartedly with whatever matter I presented to him.

I wondered for about ten minutes without seeing any sign of human life. Finally, though, the back of Alicia's, my favorite member of the Warped staff, dark locks.

"Licia!" I called, jogging to catch up with her.

However she didn't respond when I called her name. When I reached her, I tapped her shoulder as to get her attention. The girl turned, but it was not Alicia that stood before me. In her stead was a more petite girl with, on later inspection, hair a few shades paler than Alicia's. Her skin was pale, like mine, but lacked the freckles mine held. Her eyes seemed tilted downward in sadness, but held a friendly light I saw in only two other people. Her thin, pale pink lips stretched into a smile small as she held up her had to wave awkwardly at me

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey, I'm Avery. And you're not Alicia," I trailed off. My words triggered a flashback of the first night I ran into Kyle, literally.

"No, I'm Chelsea," she clarified.

I nodded and looked about awkwardly. "You wouldn't happen to know where the Forgetting Curve's van is parked, would you?"

"Well I don't know if I can tell anyone that…"

I smiled and laughed a little. This girl was so quiet and unsure. I wondered where she belonged. "Actually, I'm in the Forgetting Curve. I kinda got stuck on FTSK's bus and now I have no idea where we're parked."

"Oh!" she said, instantly putting on a beaming smile. "You're Jack's Avery!"

"Jack?" I questioned. Since when do all of these band boys have a claim over me?

"Barakat."

"Ah. So you must be Alex's girlfriend?"

Chelsea nodded her head as a confirmation and motioned me to follow her through the maze of busses.

"So how'd ya get stuck on FTSK's bus?" Chelsea asked.

"There was a party last night, and I guess me and Kyle got a bit drunk together. So we were hanging out his bus and I guess I fell asleep," I answered, recalling the events that took place the previous night. I really needed to talk to Adam.

"Gotcha. Do you hang out with Kyle a lot?"

"It's not so much 'hanging out' as it is Kyle stalking me."

Chelsea let out a laugh that was a bit too loud for her petite frame. She mentioned something about Kyle, but I missed it. I had spotted Adam and Shane a mere three yards away and was already giving Chelsea a hurried thank you as I made my way over to them.

"Hey, Ave," Shane greeted when I reached them. "Have a nice night cuddled in Kyle's bunk?"

Shane's normally focused, smoldering stare was now light, cheerful, and mocking. I gave him a disapproving look and slapped his forearm. It hurt me more than it did him and he laughed at my failed attempt.

"We did not cuddle," I stated firmly.

"Uh huh. Whatever you say," Shane remarked with a sarcastic tone.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, deciding that there was no point to arguing with Shane. I had other matters plaguing my mind. That reminded me of why I was looking for my band in the first place.

"Adam, could we talk? It's important."

During the exchange Adam face had held an amused smile. However, once he heard my request, his features went somber. If there was one way that Adam knew me better than Ross, it was that he knew when I was serious.

"Yeah sure," Adam said, nodding feverously. "Let's go back to the van. Aiden and Ross are setting up the merch tent, so it's free."

"Great," I said, following Adam towards our home on wheels.

I truly did not think I could ever miss the cramped, crumb-filled, smelly van I had spent the last 10 days sleeping in. Though, after a night away from the van and the rest of the band, I was relieved to see it. It hadn't changed. How could it in one night? Yet, now it felt more like home than ever. I was grateful to climb into the back of the van and lay down in the mess of sheets. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes, a moment of relaxation washing over me.

"Ave? Didn't you want to talk about something?"

And then I was crashing back into reality. I sat up facing Adam, who was standing outside the van, smiling at me. I nodded and cleared my throat, thinking where to start. My mind was instantly flooded with memories of last night.

"It's Kyle," I stated.

Adam's smile grew and he climbed into the back of the van with me. His face was eager and almost child-like.

"Sounds juicy. What's up?"

Adam's attempt at a 14 year old mall-prowling girl made me laugh, but I was soon sobered by the thought of Kyle's deal. I criss-crossed my legs and put my hands in my lap. My fingers suddenly became very interesting.

"Last night, we made a deal. I had to hang out with all night. He wanted to convince me that we could be friends. So I said sure, and we hung out for the rest of the night. I-I had fun. We talked and we had so much to talk about. I think if we never played pong we'd still be talking. Then Kyle took me back to the bus. I guess I fell asleep. I woke really early though, and I had this strange conversation with Caleb about me and Kyle. Then Kyle said something and I- I just- don't know what to do."

"I don't see the problem here, Ave…" Adam's voice was now back to his normal low, sensitive voice.

I was afraid my explanation was too scattered and shaky. Adam's eye's held a look of skepticism. What he was doubtful of, I had no idea. I looked back down to my lap, where my right hand was picking at the pinkie nail of the other.

"I can't be friends with him, Adam."

Adam scooted his form closer to me before replying. "You're friends with Trav. You're friends with Ryan. Why not Kyle?"

"He makes things complicated, Adam," I said with a slight whine in my voice that even annoyed me.

"How? What does he do to complicate things? Don't take this wrong way, Ave, but I think the only one complicating things is you. Why are you so hell-bent on staying away from him? He just wants to be your friend."

"Gosh, you sound so much like Kyle right now," I said, rolling my eyes. "That's the thing; he doesn't want to be my friend Adam. He wants to be a bit more than that. I knew he did, and my conversation with Caleb this morning confirmed it."

"So take the guy on date! What's the harm?"

"I don't want to hurt him, Adam. If I take him out he's gonna get his hopes up. I can't lead him on."

"Believe me, Ave. I think you have no chance of leading him on. I can tell you're gonna fall for this guy already. So just take him out, make him your boyfriend."

Adam's voice was stern now, not the comforting tone that always came with his advice. This new demeanor was unfamiliar, yet the persistence in his argument was horribly familiar. Kyle's face flashed in my mind and my stomach dropped.

"You know how I feel about musician relationships."

"So, then just be friends. Give him some sort of satisfaction. He's working so hard for this, Ave. Besides, you know you want to be his friend. I can tell by your eyes."

Damn Adam and his excellent people reading skills. That last statement meant I had been figured out. I hadn't known, in my subconscious mind, my want for Kyle's company during the days I'd known him, but Adam's conviction helped everything come to the surface.

The past almost two weeks, I had grown so accustom to Kyle's visits at the merch table, I didn't even notice my own want for them. The expectation for him to pop out from behind my chair or jump over the plastic table with no notice was always there. However, I had been pushing all of this down so much, I didn't even realize my own emotions. The enjoyment I felt at Paramore's party had been there the whole time. I just didn't want to admit it.

I let out a sigh, realizing that my answer had always been there, hidden in the deep crevices of my mind. Adam smiled, accomplishment beaming in his expression. He let out a laugh and pulled me into a hug.

"One wall down," he said in my ear. "Who knows how many more to go."