Before It's Over

Adam avoided me for the rest of the day. When the time came to pack up merch and fold up the tent, Adam was no where to be found. Shane was also ignoring me, so I assumed that Adam had told him about our little spat in the van. As we packed up shirts, Aiden complained about Adam's lack of responsibility and remained oblivious to the way Shane and I were acting towards each other. Ross was quicker to catch on. He kept shooting glances between Shane and me, wondering what was going on. He didn't say anything about it, though. I was always grateful for the fact that Ross was able to keep his mouth shut about the important stuff, even though it was pretty much the only time he could.

"I mean we do this every day. You would think he'd remember to help pack up," Aiden said as he lifted a bin filled with our EPs.

"Dude, just lay off it for a bit," Shane voiced as he gathered the metal rods of the tent together. "Maybe he just needs some time to himself."

Aiden remained oblivious to the hinting glares Shane was shooting at me. Ross, however, noticed and hit Shane in the shoulder with the back of his hand, telling him to cool down. I grabbed a bin of shirts and hurried behind Aiden in the direction of our van. When we were standing behind the trailer, I peeked around the corner to see a tuft of Adam's hair up against the backseat window.

"Hey, Aiden," I said handing him the bin to place in the trailer. "I think I'm gonna head over to the FTSK bus now. Okay?"

So I tend to avoid confrontation. Can you blame me?

"Alright. You're sleeping over right?" Aiden asked as Ross handed him another bin.

"Yeah, I'm gonna grab my clothes and go," I said climbing into the trailer and grabbed my duffle. "Bye Rossy," I said as I passed him and starting weaving my way through the rows of buses.

Marc answered the door of the bus when I arrived at the Red Giant and I climbed up the steps inside. The FTSK boys as well as their crew were scattered around the bus. Austin and Caleb sat talking on the left couch, CiCi's upper body had disappeared into a bunk, Jonathan was sitting on the floor next to the couch on the right, and everyone else was no where to be seen. Marc announced my presence and those people who I could see said hello. Kevin emerged from the back lounge to come say hello too.

"Where's Kent and Kyle?" I asked, curious.

I had no idea how this night would pan out. Kyle and I hadn't spoken since the incident in the merch tent. I was definitely expecting some awkwardness. That is, if Kyle was even here.

"Kent's stocking up on snack foods down the street. He should be back any minute. Kyle's been in his bunk for a while," CiCi answered as he made his way out of the bunk area.

I nodded and resisted the urge to pass CiCi and try to coax Kyle out of his bunk. I had a feeling that the seclusion was due to the awkward moment that had happened at the tent. It made me feel guilty and made it harder to resist the urge to make him feel better. To make sure I wouldn't give in, I told Jonathan to go fetch Kyle.

"Oh, come on, Ave! I just got comfortable!" Jonathan wined from his place on the floor.

"I'll get him," Kent said from behind me. I jumped at the sound of his voice. I didn't even hear him come in.

"Jeeze, Kent! Way to scare the shit outta me," I voiced turning around to face him.

"Yeah! Way to volunteer after I stand up!" Jonathan said sarcastically.

Kent only smiled, walked around me, threw the plastic bags of food on the couch between Austin and Caleb and walked into the bunk area to get Kyle.

"Alright, guys! Putting the movie in!" Marc announced.

The bus was then filled with movement as everybody got situated in their seats. Kent emerged from the bunks with a smile and took the empty place on my left. I sat between Caleb's knees with my back up against the couch. Caleb sat on the couch behind me with Austin and Kevin on his left, and Jonathan on his right. Across from us on the other couch sat CiCi and Marc, who was loading the DVD player. The boys' tour manager Robi decided to skip out on the movie was hanging out in the back lounge. Marc announced that he was pressing play and the group shortly voiced their excitement.

As Marc plopped down next to CiCi on the couch opposite me, Kyle finally emerged from the bunks, stretching his arms so high that they hit the ceiling of the bus. I willed for him to sit on the other side of Kent for fear of an awkward confrontation during the movie. However, Kyle never does what I want him to do, so he plopped down in between us and flashed me a brilliant smile. I took that as a sign that Kyle had gotten over the little occurrence that had happened a few hours before.

;;

About half an hour into the movie, we pulled out onto the road. I didn't realize how exhausted I was until the feeling of driving started to make my eyes droop. I cursed the day I got used to sleeping in a moving vehicle. The showing had been going smoothly until about halfway through. I was drifting between asleep and awake. Kyle's body heat was really tempting and the fabric of the blue hoodie that covered his shoulder looked really soft.

Kyle's pinky knuckle brushed against mine lightly. I was suddenly aware of the close proximity between our hands. I peaked through the curtain of my hair that cloaked my peripheral vision. I could see Kyle through my dark strands. I had expected him to be very into the movie, considering it was one of his favorites. Instead, his head was down and tilted slightly in the direction of our almost touching hands. It was now obvious what he was doing. Kyle's feelings were not as secret as mine were. His pinkie slightly grazed my again and I sighed in my mind.

I wished that Kyle would stop. I was already having enough trouble restraining myself from snuggling into him. He was just tempting me to take his hand in mine. In an attempt to make my wanting go away, I made an excuse about being thirsty and stood. I took a large step over Kyle's outstretched legs then did the same to Kent's. I took the two extra steps to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle from it. I returned to my spot, making sure not to place my hand anywhere near Kyle's.

This was impossible. I knew I would not be able to hang out with Kyle like everything was normal, while I was straining not to tell him how I was feeling. I thought back on my decision to accept Kyle's friendship and half regretted it. It would've been easier to quit him cold turkey right away, but I didn't, and now the only thing I could think to do was to distance myself from Kyle. It seemed like my only choice. I would avoid him for the rest of tour. I would forget about Kyle and my feelings for him, and he would do the same to me.

Well, I hoped he would.