Before It's Over

The morning after the movie, I left the bus before any of the guys were awake. The only trace I left was a short note that I left in Caleb's bunk, briefly explaining my plan and asking that he wouldn't tell any of the guys about it. I asked him to help keep Kyle from me too, which was selfish, but the only way I could think to guarantee that Kyle wouldn't come looking for me.

Days passed and I had successfully avoided Kyle at all costs. He stopped showing up to our sets and my duets with Ryan, which was probably on his band's part. I always fled the tent the moment I spotted Kyle approaching and my band mates always covered for me. I didn't go to catering for fear I might run into Kyle, so the boys had been bringing my lunch to me. I knew that quitting Kyle cold turkey was what I wanted, but I also knew that the week without him had an effect on me. The guys noticed too. Ross was always asking me what was up and Aiden even kept shooting me worried looks in the van. I knew I was quieter than normal. Most days I spent caught up in a mild depression I was too stupid to notice sooner. Adam noticed it, though, and because he couldn't stand to see anyone unhappy decided to end his silent treatment and talked to me.

"Avery, can we talk?"

I was sitting on the edge of the trailer at the end of the New York date. Aiden stood next to me with a flashlight shining into the trailer. We both turned to Adam's voice when he spoke. Aiden flashed the light into Adam's eyes and he winced.

My fight with Adam had a longer effect than I would've liked. The tension in the van was almost unbearable sometimes and our stage performance was out of whack. Adam never stood on my drum kit anymore and I stopped playfully launching my broken sticks in his direction. It was horrible and I hated fighting with any of my band mates. Granted, it was really my fault. I treated Adam's friendship with my brother like nothing and he had just retaliated in defense. What kept me from apologizing was Adam's accusation. Was I so ignorant that I couldn't even accept my own true feelings, let alone my brother's? The question was the only thing that could pull my thoughts from Kyle.

Aiden jerked his head in Adam's direction, motioning for me to go. "Just be back in five minutes guys. Don't wanna miss van call."

I nodded, stood and shoved my hands into the pockets of my shorts. Adam I strolled slowly through the parked busses. I was too scared to speak and Adam wasn't starting the conversation either.

Eventually, I said, "You know if we just walk for any longer we're gonna miss van call."

"Oh," Adam said as if I had just woken him up. "Oh, yeah. Um, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what I said in the van on Thursday. It's not my place to judge you like that."

"It's all right, Adam," I assured him, touching his arm gently. "It was my fault really. I shouldn't have said that you didn’t know Aiden like I do. And I hate that we fought, 'cause I love you guys. Ya know?"

"Yeah, I love ya too, Ave," he said pulling me clumsily into a side hug.

The pair of us laughed and we headed back to van so that Aiden wouldn't leave us in the dust.

;;

The next day was better than those prior. Adam and I worked the merch together after breakfast while Aiden took Ross and Shane to an interview. Now that Adam and I weren't fighting, the day seemed a bit better than it actually was. The skies had been an ominous black since later in the morning. By the time noon hit and doors opened, it had already started to drizzle. Adam and I were happy to be under the cover of the tent, but the Warped goes seemed to pay no mind to the weather.

Around three, however, the rain got heavier. The sky got darker quickly and soon announcements were being made that a major hail storm was approaching. Adam was a bit worried, but I wasn't troubled by the forecast at all.

"Ave, why don't you go grab us some water from the van really fast? The rain's making me thirsty."

Adam request was harder to grant than expected. Before I even reached the bus parking, the storm hit. The rain came pouring down all of a sudden and the wind picked up. It didn't take long for the venue to get quiet as bands were asked to unplug instruments. The wind only worsened as I hurried along in the same direction as the crowd rushing towards the venue's pavilion. A voice came from some speaker scattered around the venue telling guests they could leave the venue and wait out the storm in their cars. Eventually, the storm was so bad that I knew the tent wouldn't be able to take it. Deciding that Adam would need help keeping the tent stable, I turned and started pushing my way back through the crowd to the merch tents.

More and more people passed me in the opposite direction, heading for the protection of the pavilion. I knew, however, that I needed to get to the merch tent to make sure Adam had everything under control. He wouldn't be able to hold down the tent and all the merch by himself if the wind picked up any more. Sure, he was a very determined person, but determination does not give you super powers. There was no way the tent would survive the storm with just Aiden to hold it down.

Again, an automated voice echoed from crackling speakers scattered about the venue, advising people to wait out the storm in their cars. I ignored the voice and continued in the opposite direction of the crowd. As I walked, the rain began to come down harder and began to leave marks on my skin. There was loud rumble of thunder and then the hail started. I scanned the area for any type of shelter, but I was nowhere near the tents yet. The nearest cover was the ernie ball stage and that was still a ways away. I decided to take what I could get and started to run in the direction of the small stage. I ran cautiously, in fear that I would slip and fall.

Luckily, I reached the stage without any mishaps. As I approached, I noticed that there was no music playing, but the crowd was singing something I couldn't place. I flashed my pass to security and headed backstage, under cover from the rain. As I made my way to side stage, it became clear what song the crowd was singing.

My mom got scarred
And said "You're moving with Auntie and Uncle in Bel-air

I let a giggle escape my lips as I sat down on a drum case, but I was silenced quickly when I noticed who was singing to the crowd. Jonathan and Caleb were the only ones on stage. I stood rigid in realization. All those days I had succeeded in avoiding Kyle completely had just gone to waste. Kyle was probably wandering around the stage or goofing off with the other guys somewhere.

Then, as if on cue, Caleb and Jonathan left the stage, made their way to right side stage and spotted me right away. Caleb gave me a stern look and Jonathan motioned me over. Begrudgingly, I crossed the stage with my eyes to the ground, passing a curious K-Dirty on the way.

"Where the hell have you been, Ave?" Jonathan asked the minute I was close. "Kyle's been on the fast track to depression since you started avoiding him. What's up?"

I shoved my hands deep into the pockets of my denim shorts. They were almost soaked through from the rain. My embarrassment got the best of me and I hung my head to hide the pink tint rising in my cheeks. I knew that avoiding Kyle would hurt him, but actually hearing it maked me feel that much worse. I couldn't tell them the real reason. Caleb and Jonathan especially were aware of Kyle's feelings for me already. If I told them I was distancing myself so as not to hurt his feelings, they would start on their theory of me being interested in Kyle. I couldn't let the truth of that theory out.

"I've just been trying to resort my priorities. I was spending way too much time with Kyle and not enough time on the band. And me and Adam were fighting…. I just needed to sort some stuff out."

Jonathan's and Caleb's faces told me they didn't buy my excuse. Jonathan crossed his arms in an unbelieving manner. Caleb sent me the same expression.

"Come on Avery," said Jonathan. "The truth."

"Jonathan this is totally unimportant!" I said strongly.

Unfortunately, raising my voice caught the attention of someone I had dreaded spotting.

"Avery?" Kyle said disbelievingly as he jogged up to where the three of us were standing. "Avery! Where the hell have you been?!"

Kyle didn't greet me with the smile he normally did. Instead his eyes traveled all over my face in worry. It looked like he thought I was going to disappear any second. I was planning on it. I could bolt in the direction of the vans or the merch tent, but I was sure Kyle wouldn't have any trouble catching me. I decide to stick with a casual approach.

"Oh, you know, around."

"Bullshit, Ave."

"Well at least you called her on it," Caleb said before turning to head to the backstage area. Jonathan followed.

"I've been wanting to talk to you about something," Kyle said taking a light hold on my wrist. "Not here though."

And we were running. Kyle had an iron hold on my wrist as we sprinted across the flooding venue towards the bus parking. The rain was falling hard still and I was soaked through. I struggled to keep up with Kyle and was grateful when we reached the shelter of his tour bus. We hurried up the steps panting and shaking the rain water out of our hair.

After Kyle got us a pair of towels he sat me down on the couch and took a seat across from me. Kyle started talking a few time but always changed his mind and shook his head, starting again. Eventually, I got fed up and sort of shouted for him to spit it out.

"Alright," he said taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I like you. I'm pretty sure you know this too."

Kyle looked at me for confirmation and I nodded awkwardly. I realized what he was doing, but some unknown force was keeping me glued to the couch. My feelings for Kyle seemed to fully present themselves for the first time in that moment of realization. Adam's advice rang in my head. "Look a little deeper." It scared me shitless to think about actually caring for someone like I did for Kyle. Maybe it was how petrified I was of my own feelings that was keeping me from bolting out of that bus.

"Right," he continued. "Well, I've – shit this is gonna sound horrible – I've been thinking about how I feel and how I think you feel. I really like you, Ave. I care about you a lot. And I know I sound really freaking lame right now, but I would love if we could be together."