Before It's Over

"So, you and Kyle, huh?" My brother asked as we unloaded bins from the trailer.

The morning sun in New Jersey was scorching. The heat had caused the boys and me to rise early, so we wouldn't overheat in the van. Our old fifteen-passenger was getting worn and the air conditioning wasn't running properly. I could tell that Aiden was getting worn down as well. The circles under his eyes were darker than I'd ever seen. When he spoke, it was a tired sigh. This tour was wearing him thin. To think, all this time I was bent on making it through the tour myself.

Perhaps my nerves were causing this spur analysis of my brother's health. I had been thinking about his text all morning. When we woke up, Aiden didn't say anything about it. What surprised me the most was his silence when Kyle came to say good morning at breakfast. It was only an hour until doors when Aiden decided to confront me about it.

"Yeah," I answered. "Me and Kyle."

My posture was tense as I pulled the plastic bin from the trailer. I watched as Aiden suddenly placed his on the ground next to his feet, then took my own bin from my hands and placed it next to his. My brother took a seat on the edge of the trailer floor and patted the spot next to him. I sat cautiously, wondering what my brother was about to say. I knew it would be serious, because his eyes held a solemn darkness that I had seen in his eyes only when he was serious about something.

"I want to explain something to you, Kera," he started, turning to me and taking my hand.

The use of our middle names was something only my brother and I shared. It was a sort of secret between us, to use our middle names when we wanted the other to know how much we loved them. It only confirmed that Aiden was serious about something.

"I'm not upset, like I said last night. I'm so happy for you. I know that you've been holding back on Kyle, and I'm glad that you finally followed your heart. You don't do that enough. You worry about things to much in your head. Worrying is my job. Okay? I'm the big brother."

Aiden paused to smile and pat my hand. I smiled too. We hadn't had time to sit down and have a brother and sister talk since we'd left for tour over a month ago. Having a heart to heart with Aiden made my week that much better.

"And I want to say that I'm so proud of you. I haven't said that enough. Hell, I've hardly said it at all. Not only have you been working your ass off on this tour, but you've learned that you can do that and still be the amazing girl that you are."

I felt as though my heart was going to burst. I didn't think that two of the most amazing moments of my summer could happen in the course of only two days. First, I had found Kyle, and now my brother was saying how proud he was of me. The thing that I had set out do on this tour was being manifested in this one conversation with Aiden. I was too happy for words. It felt as though only air was filling up my chest. Soon, I would've lifted into the air and floated into the sky. I tried to make the air into words as my smile grew and I finally got something out.

"Jesus, can my week get any better? Next we'll be getting label offers!"

I laughed and Aiden only smiled. Even in my time of overwhelming joy, he was his same subdued self.

"Thanks, Aiden. That means the world to me, but can I ask what brought this on?"

"Actually, it was something Kyle said to me," Aiden said, standing up from the edge of the trailer. "But it's between me and him. I just hope he can keep a secret from you."

I smiled up at my brother before he leaned down to kiss the top of my head.

"Love ya, sis."

"Love you too, big brother."

;;

The Forgetting Curve had an early set in Englishtown, and I hadn't been so excited to play a show in my life. I was sure that my extremely good mood would translate into a great set on stage. Ross seemed to think so too, because the minute we started our pre-show ritual, he was bouncing off the walls.

"Cessford," Shane snapped after five minutes. "If you don't shut that motor mouth of yours, I'm surly going to explode."

"Dude," Adam said in a calming tone. "Don't you feel it? The vibe right now is awesome."

"Did you just use the words 'dude', 'vibe', and 'awesome' in the same sentence?" I asked with a chuckle as my sticks drummed an unused speaker. "When did you become a hippie, Adam?"

"When you started sending out happy waves everywhere. Your good mood is contagious."

"Obviously not for Shane," Ross pointed out. "What's got you down, man?"

At Ross' question, we all turned our eyes toward our bassist. He looked back like a deer caught in the headlights.

"No reason. It's just that Kenzie has this major dance thing today. I'm just nervous for her. Sorry."

While Shane explained, Aiden appeared with Adam's freshly tuned guitar and Shane's bass. My brother handed each of my band mates their respective instruments quickly. He rubbed his hands on the front of his jeans then relaxed into the conversation.

"I just went over this with Avery. I'm the one that worries on this tour. You-" Aiden said poking Shane in the chest, "-are here to play a show and make those kids go crazy. Don't worry, Shane. Your sister's gonna do great. You know that."

Apparently, my good mood had stemmed to my brother as well as my band mates. Shane's worried expression faded and was replaced with a thankful smile aimed at Aiden. My brother wished us a good show and we headed out on stage.

The sound of a screaming crowd sounded better than I could remember. I took a seat behind my drum set and started a count with my sticks. Ross went right into the first verse. My sticks pounded down on my set and a smile took over my face. My arms flew and foot beat my bass pedal relentlessly. All my energy was being released into playing. Our song flew by and soon it was finished.

"Fuck yeah!" Ross screamed once Adam's guitar faded out. "Hello New Jersey!"

The crowd exploded and I could hear Ross laugh into his mic. Adam played a chord quickly and I tapped my crash. I could hear Ross chuckle slightly into his mic.

"I have a feeling this is gonna be the best show we've played the whole tour and we haven't even played two songs yet!"

The crowd screamed.

"Thanks so much for coming to our set first guys," Adam said into his mic. "You should come to our merch tent first too. We'll be hanging out all day."

Again the crowd cheered. I beamed from my place behind the drums. Ross introduced the next song and we were playing again. It seemed like the shortest set we ever played, but Ross' prediction did follow through. The new vibe within the band seemed to spread into New Jersey's crowd. Everything about the show seemed intensified. We played better, the crowd sang back louder, the mosh pits were bigger, and I was so engrossed in the set, that I didn't even notice Kyle watching from side stage.

I was in a sort of trace as I stood on my base to throw my sticks into the crowd. Almost like a trained, mindless animal, I grabbed a towel as I walked off stage. I didn't realize I had knocked into someone until I was on the ground.

"Is this gonna become a post show ritual with you? Knocking yourself into me?"

I laughed as Kyle grasped my hand and pulled me up to my feet again. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders in a lose hug as he chuckled with me.

"Great show, Ave. You too guys." Kyle said as the boys all walked past us with knowing smiles on their faces.

Once the guys had past us, Kyle took my hand and led me in the same direction of my band mates. However, once we got off of side stage and back on the black top, he dropped his hand. About twenty people lined the metal barrier that separated the venue from the backstage portion of the lot. People shouted the names of my band and I heard a few call Kyle too. Our group paused to sign stuff for the fans before moving on to the tent. Kyle followed, his hand entwined in mine again.

Aiden had relieved whoever was watching the tent once we went on stage. I had no idea how he was handling the mass of people that now surrounded the tent. It was the regular after set rush, which obligated most of the band to help out behind the table. The boys and I hurried around the crowd and greeted Aiden, who seemed relieved to see us. The next half hour was spent rushing back and fourth between the table and piles of shirts, signing every surface presented to us and taking picture after picture. Kyle hung back and handed us shirts as my band, my brother and I worked to get the crowd at a reasonable number. Once that was accomplished, I crashed down into my lawn chair.

"You guys get to work," he said with a chuckle as he plopped down on the ground next to me.

"Hey, Cessford, what time is it?" Adam asked from his seat on the table. I watch lazily as his legs swung back and forth.

"Eleven. Why?" Ross answered.

"I'm gonna grab an early lunch today. Anyone else in?"

"Speaking of lunch, Ave," Kyle said, drawing my attention to him. "I'm gonna go, but I'll come pick you up at twelve for our lunch. Okay?"

I smiled, remembering Kyle's promise from the day before. I nodded and he stood. Kyle gave me a soft kiss on my head, and then disappeared in the direction of back stage. When I tore my eyes from the direction he had taken, I found three sets of eyes on me.

"You got a lunch date, Ave?" Ross asked with a mischievous smile.

"Yes, I do," I answered as I stood from my chair. "But I need some sleep before that. I'm gonna head back to the van for a nap. Anyone else heading back?"

Shane stood from his lawn chair and followed me around the merch table and out of the tent. We bid good-bye to the boys in the tent and headed to the bus parking. Our walk to the bus was silent. Shane wasn't one to drill me about boys, which I was always grateful for. Once we reached the van, I climbed in and crashed on the back seat. I fell asleep to the soft murmurs of Shane's voice as he spoke to someone on the phone.