Before It's Over

When I woke the next morning, the sun was already penetrating through cracks in the construction paper and posters that we had put over the windows of the van. I pulled my arms from the tangled mess of sheets and rubbed my eyes with my knuckles. As I pushed myself up on my elbows, I saw Shane sitting upright in the passenger seat. He was obviously on the phone, but his words were hushed and hastened. Curious, I stood from my sleeping spot. I had to keep my body bent at the waist as I climbed up to the front of the van.

Shane had noticed my commotion and turned to watch me as he listened to the person on the other line. When I reached the front row of seats I could hear him properly. "How'd she do?" he asked into the phone.

I poked Shane on the shoulder. He faced me and I mouthed the words 'who are you talking to?'

'Mom,' he mouthed back to me.

I nodded and Shane turned around, giving his mother his full attention once again. Since none of the other guys were up, I had nothing to do. In a desperate attempt to occupy myself, I pulled my duffel bag out from under the driver's seat. I dug around the bottom of the bag before pulling out my toothpaste and toothbrush. I stealthily snuck out of the bus without waking the guys or disturbing Shane.

The sun outside was already hot enough to burn Adam's pale skin quickly. I could see a group of guys standing by a bus not far away. The tall, long-haired ginger in a purple shirt waved to me as I walked to our trailer. I politely returned the wave before opening the door to the trailer. With my back to the morning sun, I leaned far enough into the trailer to grab a bottle of water. The bottle was warm in my hands and the sensation made me cringe. I placed the bottle down on the asphalt and squirted some toothpaste onto my purple toothbrush.

As I brushed, I could hear the group of boys talking, but their voices were slowly growing fainter. Eventually, the lot was silent, but not for long. I heard the door to a bus shut and footsteps from the person who exited. I quickly spit out the foam in my mouth and washed it away with some water. I then took a swig from the bottle, filling my mouth with water. Something bright had caught my eye and I froze, my cheeks bulging with the water I just drank.

"You busy?"

Kyle's voice caused my bulging cheeks to flush. I turned away from him quickly and walked to the other side of the van to spit out the water in my mouth. I wiped my lips with the back of my hand before walking, embarrassed, back to Kyle.

"Sorry you had to see that. It mustn't have been attractive," I said, purposefully keeping my eyes from Kyle's.

"I thought it was funny." I could see him shrug his shoulders from under my eyelashes. He then shoved his hands in the pockets of his camo shorts. We were silent for a few moments, but then Kyle spoke. "Is my face that ugly?"

I shot my head up to look at him properly and I'm sure I looked mortified. I was mortified. He didn't look offended, however, just amused. Kyle smiled at me, one of those beaming smiles. It was hard not to do the same. I guess he expected me to say something, because he was silent.

"So," I drew out the word. "Did you, um, need me for something?" I asked, looking anywhere but Kyle's eyes.

"Not particularly, no. I just saw you get out of your van and decided to come to talk to you." He shrugged again and pulled his mouth to one side in an adorable manner.

"Well that's not creepy in the least bit," I said sarcastically, trying to overcome the giggle rising inside me. Kyle had no problem letting out a laugh.

"I'm not trying to come off as creepy," he stated plainly.

"Well I know you weren't trying to come off as creepy. You just do."

I couldn't understand why, when I spoke, it sounded like I was comfortable talking to Kyle. Inside, my stomach was twisting with nervousness. I never do well in one-on-one confrontations with people I don't know. I prefer to meet and hang out with people as a group. It has a comforting sense to it. When I meet more than one person at a time, if I mess up with one, I know another is bound to like me.

"Well thanks," Kyle said sarcastically. "Glad to know you think so highly of me."

Kyle's smile was something that I knew would be a problem. When we met in the gas station last night, it was the only thing I truly paid attention to. I didn't know why, but the way his lips spread wide across his face, causing wrinkles to appear at either corner, amazed me. I knew there was no way I could have a conversation with Kyle without looking at his smile.

"Do you want to do something? Walk around?" he asked. As he did, he pulled one of his hands out of his pocket and ruffled his hair.

I could feel a 'yeah' rising in my throat so I swallowed in an attempt to keep it down. Kyle frowned at my hesitation and (probably) the frown that quickly replaced the smile on my face. I felt something inside me twitch. I pushed the feeling aside and opened my mouth to decline, but the sound of the van's door sliding open made me stop, grab Kyle's wrist, and pull him behind the trailer with me.

"We need to walk," I said, pushing Kyle towards the bus to the left of our van. "Now." I pushed Kyle around the corner of the bus, glancing back quickly to make sure the guys hadn't seen us.

"I feel like a criminal on the run. What'd we do?" Kyle asked with a dazzling smile.

"I just, don't want the guys to see us," I answered, taking one last peek around the corner of the bus to make sure they hadn't seen.

"Oooooh! Is this some kind of secret thing, you and me?" he asked pointing back and forth between us. His smile was mischievous. I couldn't help but stare.

"This," I said, mimicking his actions, "you and me, isn't anything."

"Oh."

Kyle's smile faded and so did his cheerful tone. I instantly felt horrible. Seeing Kyle even the least bit unhappy made my stomach pull in a bad way. I knew that I wouldn't like seeing him unhappy, ever.

"I didn't mean it like that, Kyle," I said, really looking into his eyes for the first time. The blue color of them held my attention again. "It's just; I know they'll pick on me if they see me with a guy. They're all dead set on getting me a boyfriend this summer."

I could see Kyle's returning smile grow wider at my last statement. It made me worry. I couldn't have a boyfriend. No distractions and no Kyle; that's what I had promised myself at the beginning of tour. Besides, relationships between musicians never really turn out well. It would be too hard to hold on to each other. There would be clashing tour schedules and long periods away recording. Most of all, there would be trust issues. And god knows I have major trust issues.

"Look, Kyle," I said, returning to our previous conversation. "I know that yesterday I said we could hang out, but this tour is important to me. I can't really 'hang out' until after the fans leave."

"But its not even doors yet, Avery. What could you possibly be doing?" Kyle asked.

"Well, I'll probably get breakfast, then help Aiden set up merch, then help him do tech stuff, then its doors and I'll work merch."

"You're not gonna watch any sets?"

"I don't think so," I lied. I knew I would, but I couldn't have Kyle joining me. No distractions.

"Well, that’s what you say," Kyle said pointing a long finger at me and smiling mischievously again. "I am officially forcing you to come to our acoustic set today, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Before I had time to protest, Kyle was around the corner of the foreign bus and out of site. I let out a frustrated breath and leaned up against the hot bus. It burned my back, but I didn't care at the moment. This was going to be harder than I thought.

"Um, are you okay?" The unfamiliar voice caused me to look up quickly in surprise.

"Oh! Hi, Alex Suarez," I said, staring wide eyed at the bassist to my right.

"Hi….I'm sorry. I don't know you're name," he said, looking at me with curiosity and concern.

I pushed myself off what I now assumed to be Cobra Starship's bus and tried to hide the blush in my cheeks. "It's Avery," I stated quickly, nervously. "And I'm fine."

Cobra was always one of my favorite bands and I looked up to Alex as a fellow bass player. Now, standing here in front of him made my stomach fill with excited butterflies. I could feel my heart beating in my ears.

"Nice to meet you, Avery," Alex said, extending a hand, which I shook. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, totally. I'm sorry for, uh…leaning on your bus." I ended my sentence with an awkward laugh.

"It's fine," he assured with a chuckle. "Feel free to do so anytime, except when the bus is moving. That probably wouldn't work out so well."

I nodded, too nervous to laugh at Alex's joke, and opened my mouth to speak again, but I was cut off by another voice.

"Ave?" Ross's voice called. "Where are you?"

"Oh, crap," I said, glancing over my shoulder to see if Ross was coming. "You better go back in your bus if you don't want to be attacked by my friend," I warned Alex.

He gave me a questioning look. I responded by shooing him with my hands. He did as I had suggested and I turned to look for Ross. I hurried around the side of Cobra's bus to find him coming around the corner of our trailer.

"There you are! What were you doing?" Ross asked, stopping and letting me walk the rest of the way to him.

"I was just wandering," I lied, hopeful that he would buy into it.

"Yeah, okay. Lie. You met someone, I can tell!" Ross exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at me.

I smiled and made to bite it, but Ross pulled his hand back. "I hate when you do that, Cessford."

"Tell me who it was, Ave!" Ross demanded, as he linked our arms with a smile and began to lead me back to the van door.

"It was just a certain bassist I admire," I stated vaguely.

"Oh that narrows it down," Ross said sarcastically.

He then began to list the bassists I admired as we walked around the corner of the van. I wasn't listening to Ross's guesses. I was smiling at him and wondering why I had friends like him.